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Saturday, September 12, 2026
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TopicGeneral Twitter

Topic: General Twitter

I can protect Narendra Modi from the cockroaches: Pakistani General X

Out of boredom, I anointed myself the World Peacemaker. Or call me the pacemaker, who will control the heart rhythms of the Trumps, the Netanyahus and the Khameneis of the world.

I declined Ambanis’ invite because I had to select the PM—Pakistani General X

My approval ratings are as high as 88% in the Gallup survey. But as Pakistan's Army chief, am I happy? Absolutely not. My jihad will continue until I find the 12 percent who think otherwise.

Khala Queen’s failure was Meghan. Dear Pakistanis, your General King’s failure is Imran

Pakistan has a new PM, England gets a PM and a King. I have decided to extend my tenure as Pakistan Army chief. How many changes can the world go through at this sensitive time?

Al-Zawahiri dispatch from heaven: I am reunited with Osama. This is the new Muslim Brotherhood

Before you read any theory about how I, as the CEO of terror group al-Qaeda, was killed by Joe Biden, let me walk you through my own story of love, lust and betrayal.

I hugged India, ignored US in security policy, but that’s theatrics: Pakistani Gen Twitter

My friends, your General Twitter is telling you for the 5000th time. There is no deal with Nawaz Sharif. I like Imran Khan and only hold talks with Pakistani Taliban.

I am the spiritual leader of Taliban. My boys will rule Afghanistan again after 20 years

I, General Twitter, keep reading Western propaganda that Taliban don’t care about women rights, human rights or any rights. That is right, I have trained my warriors for better stuff.

Dear Pakistanis: I am pushing BDSM, Bajwa Doctrine of Sadomasochism, at India

2021 has been exhausting so far. Making LoC a no-fire zone and seeing my Pakistani boys shamelessly laughing at their 1971 surrender photo is no small thing.

Pakistan is jailing me for 11 years. That’s what I get for my service of training jihadis

The defence of Pakistan is in my safe hands. Who knows, 10 years on I could become the selected prime minister of Pakistan.

Boss Bajwa got extension, I didn’t. But don’t worry Pakistani dears, I will be Gen Twitter

The DG ISPR who made you proud and protected you with his tweets is forced to surrender as Gen Babar Iftikhar takes over. But no issue, lelo tissue.

This Pakistani General had seen everything by age of 4. He now wants you to read his doctrine

I am not cut out for 280 characters. I like to talk and I am going to make you travel back in time to a glorious period in Pakistan’s history.

On Camera

Srinagar’s cinemas may have gone dark. Kashmir’s love for films never did

It seemed like J&K's battered past had taken a backseat, even if it was for the four days of the international film festival.

Global funds sour on India stocks as some cut allocation to zero

Weak corporate earnings and the lack of an AI investment theme are prompting global investors to cut India exposure.

‘Society as battlefield’: NATO cites Indian military paper on cognitive warfare. What it says

In a seminal work, former military officers Lt. Gen. D.S. Hooda & Lt. Col. Pavithran Rajan put forth a framework to approach cognitive warfare, called Socio-Technical-Cognitive Battlespace.

The real BRICS story is what China, Russia want & India wishes

India, China and Russia share more contradictions than congruence. Each has a different worldview, as also a different adversary. The rude fact is that BRICS is the most irrelevant of all such groupings.