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Friday, December 12, 2025
TopicGeneral Twitter

Topic: General Twitter

I declined Ambanis’ invite because I had to select the PM—Pakistani General X

My approval ratings are as high as 88% in the Gallup survey. But as Pakistan's Army chief, am I happy? Absolutely not. My jihad will continue until I find the 12 percent who think otherwise.

Khala Queen’s failure was Meghan. Dear Pakistanis, your General King’s failure is Imran

Pakistan has a new PM, England gets a PM and a King. I have decided to extend my tenure as Pakistan Army chief. How many changes can the world go through at this sensitive time?

Al-Zawahiri dispatch from heaven: I am reunited with Osama. This is the new Muslim Brotherhood

Before you read any theory about how I, as the CEO of terror group al-Qaeda, was killed by Joe Biden, let me walk you through my own story of love, lust and betrayal.

I hugged India, ignored US in security policy, but that’s theatrics: Pakistani Gen Twitter

My friends, your General Twitter is telling you for the 5000th time. There is no deal with Nawaz Sharif. I like Imran Khan and only hold talks with Pakistani Taliban.

I am the spiritual leader of Taliban. My boys will rule Afghanistan again after 20 years

I, General Twitter, keep reading Western propaganda that Taliban don’t care about women rights, human rights or any rights. That is right, I have trained my warriors for better stuff.

Dear Pakistanis: I am pushing BDSM, Bajwa Doctrine of Sadomasochism, at India

2021 has been exhausting so far. Making LoC a no-fire zone and seeing my Pakistani boys shamelessly laughing at their 1971 surrender photo is no small thing.

Pakistan is jailing me for 11 years. That’s what I get for my service of training jihadis

The defence of Pakistan is in my safe hands. Who knows, 10 years on I could become the selected prime minister of Pakistan.

Boss Bajwa got extension, I didn’t. But don’t worry Pakistani dears, I will be Gen Twitter

The DG ISPR who made you proud and protected you with his tweets is forced to surrender as Gen Babar Iftikhar takes over. But no issue, lelo tissue.

This Pakistani General had seen everything by age of 4. He now wants you to read his doctrine

I am not cut out for 280 characters. I like to talk and I am going to make you travel back in time to a glorious period in Pakistan’s history.

On Camera

Faiz Hameed conviction is a message from Munir. He won’t tolerate sympathy for Imran Khan

The political trajectory is clear. Asim Munir is now prepared to convict and sentence Imran Khan for instigating a rebellion against the army chief, with no possibility of mercy.

NITI Aayog flags what India needs for its ‘$30 tn by 2047’ goal—‘a developed corporate bond market’

Report looks at imbalance between equity & corporate bond markets amid India’s growth ambitions and diverse capital needs, while outlining strategy to unlock full potential.

US clears $686-mn package to breathe fresh life into Pakistani F-16s

Of the total package, $649 million will be utilised for additional hardware, software, and support services, and the remaining for Major Defence Equipment (MDE).

Asim Munir & Pakistan’s Failed Marshal Doctrine

None of Pakistan’s PMs has lasted 5 years. That the current PM has given Asim Munir 5 years shows that of all military dictatorships history has seen, Pakistan’s is most creative.