In just over 24 hours after Tanishq was boycotted and its ad pulled down, which was cheered by some Indians and offended others, the episode exposed Indians’ deep-rooted fear of Hindu-Muslim marriages. The Surf Excel ad in 2018 and the Assamese TV serial Begum Jaan this year have done the same.
But what is it about interfaith marriages that still sends shock waves across our country, even in 2020? Why is India, a country that so proudly wears its diversity like a badge of honour, so fearful of Hindu-Muslim love?
‘Purity’
In most Hindu homes, falling in love with a Muslim is the ultimate ‘sin’, an ‘abomination’ that cannot be tolerated, no matter how ‘liberal’ the family claims to be. The primary reason is their preoccupation with the idea of purity. When it comes to a Hindu woman marrying a Muslim man, the idea of honour also invariably gets tied to this. Most of us have been told that we can marry anyone ‘but a Muslim’.
The fear is not only that the woman might have to give up her own religion — even though the Tanishq ad argues the very opposite by showing the Muslim family being respectful of her customs. What about future children? Will they be Hindu, or Muslim? A mixed lineage just cannot do, especially for Hindus who don’t even want their bloodline to be diluted by different castes — inter-caste marriages still face the horrific dangers of ‘honour killings’. Marrying into another religion, especially one that is of ‘invaders’, is another matter altogether.
Also read: RSS & VHP call religious conversion a form of ‘violence’, to launch campaign to curb it
‘Hindu khatre mein hain’
This fundamental emphasis on purity has been politicised culturally by the Hindu Right-wing in such a way that it has built the ‘Hindu khatre mein hain’ narrative — Hindus are in danger. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP)’s national spokesperson, Vinod Bansal, once stressed that the Right-wing body was not against interfaith marriages per se, but was fighting against the conspiracy of ‘trapping’ Hindu women. On 11 October, Assam Health and Education Minister Himanta Biswa Sarma even proclaimed how his party will ‘fight’ the so-called ‘love jihad’ if voted back to power in the 2021 assembly election.
Within the parameters of ‘love jihad’, women are clearly understood to be naturally ‘incapable’ of taking their own decisions, and Hindu men must ‘protect’ these ‘defenceless’ women from the ‘manipulative’ Muslim men, even if the woman may be an adult. This kind of thinking is reflected in actor Kangana Ranaut’s take on the controversial ad as well. Ranaut complained that the daughter-in-law was apparently shown as “meek and timid in her own house” and reduced to a “set of ovaries”. I don’t know if she saw a different ad than I did.
The concept wasn’t as much a problem as the execution was,the fearful Hindu girl apologetically expressing her gratitude to her in-laws for the acceptance of her faith, Isn’t she the woman of the house? Why is she at their mercy? Why so meek and timid in her own house? Shameful. https://t.co/LDRC8HyHYI
— Kangana Ranaut (@KanganaTeam) October 12, 2020
Hindu women are being forcefully converted, and Hinduism is being destroyed is the argument of many Right-wing Hindus. If in India, Hinduism is threatened, where will it survive, they say.
Also read: Syro-Malabar Church says ‘love jihad’ a threat in Kerala, govt says it doesn’t exist
‘Outnumbered’
The narrative of ‘love jihad’ seems to paint Muslim men as hypersexual, cunning creatures who use their sexual prowess to ‘seduce’ unsuspecting, vulnerable Hindu women and convert them. This trope also throws light on another fear — Muslims are perceived to be ‘breeding’ to ‘take over’ Hindus in the country’s population.
The Tanishq ad depicts a ceremony conducted for first-time mothers to pray for a safe delivery and happy life. The ‘phobia’ then gets magnified on the screen, because the ‘ownership’ of the unborn child is in question here. The child, within the typical system of lineage followed in India, will be traced through the father’s family, who is a Muslim, and that translates into bringing another Muslim in this world. The Hindu-Right has for long been pushing for a population control law because of its fears that Muslims are taking over the population of India — a hoax that has been debunked time and again. And yet, so many times we have heard men tell Hindu women to have more children than Muslims.
And, of course, forced conversions into Hinduism in India does not alarm believers of ‘love jihad’ and ‘reconversion’ projects by organisations like the VHP or ‘ghar wapsi’ are seen as ‘rescue missions’ of sorts for ‘lost souls’.
‘Radicals’ and ‘terrorists’
Interfaith marriages themselves are neither uncommon nor unnatural in India. In fact, BJP leader Shahnawaz Hussain’s wife Renu is Hindu. And that is just one of the many inter-faith marriages that stand strong. But there is a strong narrative, solidified by the phrase ‘love jihad’, that marriage is the route for Muslims to push Hindus out of existence. In fact, in the eyes of Hindus in India, Muslims are just reduced to terrorists, members of the ISIS, or jihadists. They are not human beings, they are ‘potential threats’.
This is why even Kerala medical student, Hadiya, had to be ‘rescued’ from the marriage she was obviously ‘brainwashed’ into. Even Hadiya’s father K.M. Asokan, a staunch atheist, gave in to his ‘fear’ of forced conversion and possible deployment of his daughter as an Islamic extremist. The retired army man, too, probably could not shake off his prejudice of Islam being associated with terrorism.
Also read: Opinionated, on Twitter and from LSR, JNU? Good luck in India’s shaadi bazaar
‘What about arranged marriage’
Finally, there is also the issue of how interfaith marriages are mostly ‘love marriages’ — a direct breach of the fabric of the Hindu family. Even today, urban millennials are forced into arranged marriages, in which there is an elaborate matching of family background, class and caste structures.
An inter-religious love marriage not only ends up ‘destabilising’ the basic unit of the family, but also their religious community. As Ajaz Ashraf points out, the Swadeshi Jagran Manch, an affiliate of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), does not only have an issue with Muslims, but with “unbridled and unbalanced individualism of the West is destructive of community living”. The idea that two adults can choose each other on their own accord, across religious lines, represents this very idea of an unbalanced individualism that threatens the existence of India’s biggest cultural Institution — arranged marriage.
There will be continued debate over whether Tanishq made the wrong move by pulling down its ad, or whether it was wrong to release it in the first place, but I’ll hold on to what Saif Ali Khan once said — “Intermarriage is not jihad, it is India”.
Views are personal.
I seriously think that media like print among others are paid by Muslim lobby to print only anti Hindu material. Why the hell Tanishq did not show a Hindu boy marrying a Muslim girl instead of the other way ? That is more secular and better for religious harmony. There are no stories, movies showing a Muslim girl loving, marrying a Hindu boy. These rags keep defending their position with things like Tanishq? For a change find out who created, wrote the ad for Tanishq. The gullible Hindus keep swallowing such tripe. The answer will not be surprising. On the same token look at all the Netflix movies coming out. They are all in the same line, Hindu girl falling in love with Muslim boy. They should be shut down and drummed out of India.
The print you are the real halala child it seemes you are more dangerous than terrorist
Write ab article what happens when Muslim women try to marry to non-muslim men
Not only Muslims, but Hindu women should be careful of unscrupulous Hindu boys also. There are many unscrupulous Hindu boys who seduce the girls and take their advantage giving false promises to marry. Innocent girls believe them and get cheated.
There are also unscrupulous Hindu boys who lie about their salary and qualification during marriage. This also amounts to manipulation. Many Hindu boys lie about their jobs or profession. They do NOT earn after marriage and Hindu wives have to slog for household expenses.
Why don’t people talk about this problem ?
Hindu women have a right to marry the person of their choice irrespective of caste, religion etc.
Marriage is a woman’s personal matter. Even relatives have no right to stop the Hindu woman from marrying anyone of her choice.
People even oppose inter-caste marriages within Hindu community.
Actually according to Quran a Muslim can not marry a non abrahmic religion it’s means , by marrying non muslim they want to prove that Quran is wrong
Le the Hindu girls themselves decide whom to marry. They have a right to choose the life partner of their choice. There are many marriages between Hindu girls and Muslim men which are successful. Fundamentalist Hindus only cherry pick two or three isolated cases of unsuccessful marriages.
Are all the Hindu to Hindu marriages successful ? Divorce rates are increasing among Hindu marriages in metro cities.
Check the number of husbands cheating on their wives in predominantly Hindu India. The number of extra-marital affairs is also very large in predominantly Hindu India.
There are cunning Hindu males who seduce innocent Hindu girls and get married. Many of them are NOT earning and look upon their wife’s earnings to lead their life. Many useless Hindu boys marry rich Hindu girls only to get money from the girl’s family. They do NOT work and are good-for-nothing.
Please tell us too why muslim women are dating to hindu for breeding as their husbands call them sterelised
Pl write an article on muslim woman marrying Hindu man, pl. Why not write a full article but half one ?
The article is biased and doesn’t explore the other side . If you consider yourself as a true liberal have the spine to talk about the hatred from both side
Muslim man loving Hindu girls the only thing that happens is some “tu tu mai mai” between parents from both side and thats it at the end they agree. Hindu man loving Muslim girl cases like Rahul Rajput death happens. But hey we cant give lecture of secularism to Muslims they are torch bearer of secularism only hindus will get lecture.
Dear Tina,
it’s a scientific fact that Genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring. For now, Let’s keep the “Hindu’s fear of Muslims” argument you mentioned aside and see things from the other perspective, many won’t believe it but there is a certain small section ‘within’ the Muslim community in India, that propagates Radicalism, propagates the idea of trying to convert more and more “Non muslim women”. They exist and that’s a fact. Offcourse not every muslim intends conversion nor does every hindu oppose interfaith marriage. If this issue needs to be solved, there needs to be an equal effort by the Muslim community to weed out people within their community who propagate such ideas. If they do that to ensure that their Hindu brothers/ sisters feel safe, there won’t be an adverse reaction by the Hindus. And no it’s not just a political agenda but it’s a socially ingrained fear that needs efforts from both end. This reaction by VhP and other right wing parties.
If you hate being generalized by other community you also need to show that you are not what they think you are. I would also urge my muslim brothers who are reading this, to please come out and raise your voices against this. In muslim countries eg-UAE there’s a law where muslim man can marry a non muslim woman but a Non muslim man cannot marry a muslim woman. These are the same countries who call themselves Secular yet have silent laws to protect their community. So miss Tina Das. Why is it ok for muslim community to protect themselves but when Hindus are being protectionist it’s suddenly wrong. ?
Beta sirf hindu women or muslim man pr gyaan mt pelo….
Jaake muslims ka behaviour dekho ..agar koi hindu ladka muslim ladki se pyaar krta h to ya to usko bhot pitwate h ya to islam apnane ko force krte h….this is the real truth which u fake liberandu people will never understand…saif ali khan will never want her daughter to marry a hindu boy…these muslims 90% have only 1 intention ….to increase their population at the cost of hindus….and love jihad is the best way for them.. stop your fake jouranalism. We dont need bigots like you