I am Major General Babar Iftikhar. I am the one who succeeded Major General Asif Ghafoor as Pakistani military’s spokesman. I am no 16th-century Zahiruddin Muhammad Babar. But if names mean anything to you, then you must know my name stands for tiger or the ‘brave’. Apt for the current times. If Zahiruddin Babar or Babur could win the battle of Panipat then I will win Pakistanis the war against the coronavirus, if nothing else.
This is the first time I am writing to you in person. Don’t freak out. I’m wearing my face-mask and maintaining physical distance. You might think what took me so long to connect with you all, well, with my predecessor Asif Ghafoor’s stormy relationship with you, keeping quiet looked like a really good option. You all deserved the break, while I figured out what was it that I was chosen for.
Man of action
When people say nothing good has come of the year 2020, it breaks my heart. Don’t they remember I came in their lives only in this mubarik year. Am I so unforgettable?
Who am I, even I don’t know. But I am nothing like the last one. I don’t use a smartphone, I don’t even have a personal Twitter account. People expect me to troll enemies of Pakistan, though that is not my job.
My style is rather traditional and subdued. I keep my cards close to my chest and I don’t believe in dying my grey hair. My keeping the greys, like Pakistan staying put on FATF’s grey-list, has converted many ‘Ghafoora’ haters into my lovers. That’s no mean achievement.
Some have called me an introvert, but that’s not so true. It will take time for you to understand that I will only blow the trumpet of my boss and not mine. I don’t believe in reaction. I am a man of action.
Also read: Boss Bajwa got extension, I didn’t. But don’t worry Pakistani dears, I will be Gen Twitter
Fourth-most intelligent nation
My first action was to announce a countrywide lockdown, when Pakistan’s Prime Minister Imran Khan was incapacitated by common sense, which as you know, isn’t that uncommon. I am Pakistan’s corona soldier.
These are unprecedented times. And unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures. Why else do you think the armed forces is making hand sanitisers? It is good for business, of course, but then one has to oversee hundreds of our military’s businesses. How else you think our country is going to run?
While the scientists of the world are looking for a cure to Covid-19, our scientists are making face-masks. Only that will help us get rid of the fake ‘Made in China’ underwear masks. World has its problems, we have ours.
We have to fight an enemy named coronavirus whose ideology is unknown. This virus is way more dangerous than the killers of Jewish-American journalist Daniel Pearl, that’s why we decided to set them free. A decision that backfired. For years, no one even mentioned terrorist Omar Saeed Sheikh. I bet no one even knew he was still alive, but then suddenly the entire world woke up. Now, we Pakistanis weren’t crowned “fourth-most intelligent nation” in the world for nothing.
We continue to fight the fifth-generation hybrid warfare.
Also read: Pakistani doctors need PPE to fight Covid-19, PM Imran Khan puts paper tigers on the job
Triumph and triumph
Last February, India wanted to surprise us with Balakot strikes, in return, we surprised India by celebrating the surprise they couldn’t surprise us with. That’s a lot of surprises in one lifetime. It is now a story for our future Pakistan Studies generations. Dushman ne raat ke andhere mein chhup karhum par vaar kiya, we have practiced that line since 1965. At least in 2020 dushman can WhatsApp and then attack.
27 February 2019 is a day of triumph, a day of being proud, don’t ask why. We destroyed two Indian fighter planes and caught one soldier. Initially, there were two, then there was one, and then we were left with none. The entire country celebrated with a Rahat Fateh Ali Khan concert on the first anniversary of the great bravery of Abhinandan Varthaman descending from nowhere into Pakistan. Nothing that India does will ever make us forget that and we will celebrate each year.
People have judged me for rooting for Lahore Qalandars in the Pakistan Super League, a team that loses each time in the league. So much so that fans worry that it might one day lose its name as well. I’ll still take credit on behalf of my boss for bringing cricket back in Pakistan and eliminating terrorism. Don’t doubt that ever.
As chief of public relations and a soldier against coronavirus, it is my duty to inform you that times have changed. Due to the economic crunch, we’ve had to lay off so many of our hired trolls. But that doesn’t mean that the field has been left open. Some of our trolls still work from home for we want them to stay safe. That doesn’t necessarily mean you all will be safe. I might not be watching you in person but remember #AllahDekhRahaHai.
This is part of an occasional, irreverent take on Pakistani issues by General Twitter. The real name of the authors will not be disclosed because they don’t want to be taken too seriously. Views are personal.
WOW u really are indiots…how DUMB do you have to be to not see this article is clearly a satire NOT written by a Pakistani and that NO military person from Pakistan or india or any other country would write in this manner. You guys really are dumb indiots obsessed with us…flash news for you tho, nobody in Pakistan gives a damn about india, the notion that Pakistanis are obsessed with india is an absolute lie propagated by your media to distract you from the fact that its is infact YOU indians who are absolutely OBSESSED with Pakistan and Pakistanis. Good luck with your own imagined mental demons. We Pakistanis don’t give a damn whether you live or die
WOW u really are indiots…how DUMB do you have to be to not see this article is clearly a satire NOT written by a Pakistani and that NO military person from Pakistan or india or any other country would write in this manner. You guys really are dumb indiots obsessed with us…flash news for you tho, nobody in Pakistan gives a damn about india, the notion that Pakistanis are obsessed with india is an absolute lie propagated by your media to distract you from the fact that its is infact YOU indians who are absolutely OBSESSED with Pakistan and Pakistanis. Good luck with your own imagined mental demons. We Pakistanis don’t give a damn whether you live or die
I am curious about the author of this article
Pakistan was, is and always will be a Pig Sty. There is nothing great about your nation. All countries export something or the other. Pakistan exports just one thing. Terrorism. Your AQ Khan even had to steal Nuclear technology. Your fake scientists couldn’t even come up with any technology. You even had to beg your new Abba, China (who are no scientist but copycats) to help you with your with their reverse engineering for your defence requirements. And you goofs talk so big, as if you found a route to Planet Jupiter. “Empty vessels sound more.”
Talking on BEST IN WORLD, HINDU SYSTEMS ????? Rather look at your faith rules which lives on inhuman shariat which does not allow its women to marry Hindu-Christians, so when they marry so, they are forced to convert for marrying a non-muzlim. ? ? ?
? ? ?By the way, are you following Saudis for being your ancestor to drink camel piss ????? ? ? ?
You better explore Islamic history before passing a comment just like an ignorant person who knows nothing and lives like a blind/deaf person!! What about those Hindu laws?! Not to disrespect, but Hindus don’t even allow their widows to marry second time. Take it as an advice, try to mind your own business or read Quran, learn Islamic laws and then say something!!!
Lia you have misconceptions about Islam. Many Muslim girls do marry into other religions. It is their choice to make a decision. Muslims do not drink camel pee. I don’t like mentioning it but Hindus drink pee of cows. One of Indian PM drank it.
The print
How come you allow the pakis to post anything they want but put our remarks on moderation when I am stating facts such as camel urine drinking in islam!
If you are scared you dont deserve to be in the media business! Your rights come with responsibilities and duties of stating the truth !
Show some spine!
In 1971 it was 93000 pak troops surrendering now that figure will go upto 9,30,00,000 that will be all the menfolk of present day pakistan! Rest will be your women & children! For a change we will give you a taste of your own jihadi medicine ! Oh, or is it that dead men cannot take medicines!
Anyways ” PAANCH TUKHDA PORKISTAN ” sounds great!
By the way check out on the camel urine ( piss) drunk by the muslims since prophet’s days on the internet! Of late it seems it contains coronavirus also as per WHO which will make the world’s task easier to eliminate you porkis!
Pakistan is most powerful country much much better than Neighbor. Sorry India is dirty nation trash country lives on lies and cooked up media.
Pakistan side most friendly clean brave people, love the food and culture imran khan zindaabad
You hit the button , Jessica. You sure did.
And i concur in your estimation of Pakiatan.
The richness of its caches of fortitude, to draw an analogy here, is directly proportional to the syntactic cohesion and choice of wordage, as manifest themselves in your, nonpareil scholium.
Lolz, sahi mamu banaya indians ko tumney.
Hahaha .
Come to Pakistan and see how it is here! Gen Babar is a hero!! So was Gen Ghafoor. Allah o Akbar.. Haider Allah !!
Such a moron writer! And after scribbling much shit did not even take the courage to take credits! Loser!
Come to Pakistan and see how it is here! Gen Babar is a hero!! So was Gen Ghafoor. Allah o Akbar.. Haider Allah !!
Exactly! This article can only spread hate between the fans of both generals and some “jahil” people will think that it’s General Barbar’s wording?
U guys kept denying about Osama while he was in your backyard? Explain this, I know U can’t because U R All liars, every Muslim in Pakistan and elsewhere, U Morons.
Sorry, no Pak Army officer
This is Indian online news paper. Writer is just doing catharsis while making fun of pakistani Army. In reality they can’t do anything due to their poor army. Just don’t mind him and don’t read him
Don’t get duped. Fake. 100%. I am certain that a Pak Army officer, more so a senior one, can be so stupid to write such a senseless article.
now we hae to disinfect this site cos fillthy pakis are commenting here..yukkk….go share used underwears given by china..ha ha
ha ha..i pity on pakistanis..gau mutar gau mutar..they are writing..i just saw their prime minister begging the security council…fourth most intelligent nation..ha ha ha…but first in IT..international terrorism and begging
Hahaha i read many of indian comments i cant stop laughing ??????
You guys are obsessed with Pakistan as a Nation
The innocent pakistani’s are purposely kept in dark and wrongly motivated against India. If the pak public knows the facts and plans of pak Army/ISI , then the pak Army will not have existence. That huge money they can utilise to eradicate poverty, for better education, development etc. Since madrassa education onwards, the children are wrongly motivated for anti- india sentiments. So as you sow, so you reap. Producing world’s
no.1 dreaded terrorists. This is very true that in future it will be Chinisthan. Pakis may get annoyed by this but it will be true.. It happens once you become a beggar. See where pak cries for being a strong so called supporter for Islam, where in China- over 10 Lakh muslims are tortured and forcibly made to follow Chinese traditions /special law for muslims etc. Here pak stays ignorant? When interviewed Imran Khan Niyaji tells to press- ” I am not aware of that”. Population of minorities in pak goes to 1.3% as compared to 1947(23%}. But in India this increased from 7% to 23% as on today. Exact fig mare exceed. Regarding 4th intelligence- that entire world knows. Pak bravery is allready proved by pak army in 1971 ..where 93,000/-soilders surrendered by General Niyaji.. It’s a world record so far, since- II WW. Thank to pak army for their wotld class bravery..shown.. Therefore, I can suggest all Pakis to stay away from wasting your hard earn money and use them for the betterment of pak than utilising towards building/training/deploying of terrorists. As pak PM, and President openly announce “JIHAD” against India. By this you are ruining your future. Nothing happened nor will happen to India. Pak Barwad ho jayega very soon. Pak’s Rivalry will help India to keep moving up!!!
Wait & watch..
Such a biased site”theprint”…why you are not allowing my comment….#Endians ki payroll pe ho…???
What a poor piece, you don’t get to read such pathetic writing very often
Keep repeating all the things you have said in this article to yourself everyday as soon as you wake up and pray …
that’s all you can do….?♂️
Islamistan,
Hindustan pray for good luck to General for his task. Islamistan should get rid following sins, 1)Islam is superior religion to all other. 2) That Pakistan is intelligent than others. 3) India is concerned about Islamistan. Islamistan is of no consequence to India, except an itch in groin Tinea Cruris which is very difficult to cure being fungal infection.4)Pakistani Islamistanese are all originally Hindustani. 5) There founder Jinnah was a originally of Bhatia community , his only genetic descendent now deceased was proud Indian and only Grandson is Proud well respected Indian business tycoon in Bombay.,6) None off you have come from Arab, they call you Hindi Muslim. 7) Even Ayotolla Khomeine family is originally from Lucknow.
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Sorry to copy ur comments but that exact I was going to say
Indian most succesful medicen decleard by their intelligent troll under Facest leader Modi regeam, the cow mutter and its shits, is best in Carona virus ,we Pakistani eat cow if indian use our mutter and shitt ,it will cure fast in Corona also get ride others virus of hate and superiority complex aginst Pakistan.
Best army in the world????. Stay strong and my God Bless the nation. Keep send surprises to coward
hahaha, best army of enuches and rapists, lakhs of whom do surrender to their enemy ? ? ?
Reflects the dirty mentality of Hindus. All Indians aren’t hindus. We have lovely INDIANS around the world.
hahaha Abu, You do not have to llok at Hindu’s, Rather look at izlam lives on inhuman shariat which does not allow its women to marry Hindu-Christians, so when they marry so, they are forced to convert out of this inhuman rule for marrying a non-muzlim. ? ? ?
Everyone is NOT NAWAZ SHARIF…….
Pakistan is full of fools and beggars. The army thrives on taxpayers money. The taxpayers are getting nothing but this fluff message from the vampire army who keeps beating the war drums and keeps sucking blood from their own people. Here is another army general who wants to make more money. The writing skills is a reflection of his own intelligence which appears to be as same as any average student in year 9 from India