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How I learned to stop feeling bad about my failure and accepted my new ‘psychologist’ self

Campus Voice is an initiative by ThePrint where young Indians get an opportunity to express their opinions on a prevalent issue.

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I still recall my 18-year-old self who dreamt of becoming a doctor. My only goal at the time was to pass the NEET exam. My dream was shattered when I didn’t get admission in a government medical college of my choice. However, sometimes a ‘wrong’ turn takes you to your intended destination and I started out on my journey to become a psychologist. It’s not becoming a psychologist is a lot of people’s childhood dream. As such, I had a slew of questions for myself—where did I fall short? Was it my fate? Was it karma?

My hopes had just been dashed. Having psychology as an optional subject made me reconsider my options, and I ended up taking the subject as my graduation program.  Throughout my first semester of college, I kept second-guessing my decision and considered changing my major or taking a year off. But Covid happened and working from home made me realise the beauty of this subject.

I began to enjoy what I was doing and studying. Everyone was asking me how to deal with the new normal—you are a psychology student, so please assist! Seeing things from a different perspective, understanding other people’s situations, being gentle with others, and learning and unlearning are some of the things I’ve learned on this journey so far. I soon realised that while doctors save you from multiple injuries or serious illnesses, psychologists give people a new ray of hope to cherish their lives.

I never imagined myself as a psychologist, but I have come to believe that everything happens for a reason. Self-acceptance is an important trait and accepting that humans are terrible at it is the first step. My constant battle with myself about not becoming a doctor ended that day when I made someone think about giving life another chance. Saving a life is all that matters in the end, whether you’re a doctor, a soldier, or a psychologist. Taking uncharted roads can sometimes lead to a wonderful journey.

I don’t regret doing MBBS because I am still saving lives. I may not be prescribing medications, but I am able to make a difference through my words. Writing this article reminded me of a quote by Rumi, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world, now I’m wiser, so I’m changing myself.” Moulding myself along the way is what makes me happy. I may be an accidental psychologist, but I will undoubtedly try to become a better version of myself every day.

The author is a student at Shree Guru Gobind Singh Tricentenary University, Gurugram. views are personal.

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