A recent post by a woman seeking a crorepati groom has raked up the age-old debate of skewed expectations of marriage partners — bringing back the notorious brickbat of women being ‘gold-diggers.’
The post, translated from Marathi and posted on X, brands the 37-year-old’s requirements as “ next level delusion”. Besides the minimum salary requirement of at least Rs 1 crore per annum, the woman also prefers a highly educated groom — like a surgeon or chartered accountant — who has his own house.
The issue that most people seem to have is that her own salary is Rs 4 lakh per annum. But so what? Why shouldn’t women be upfront about what kind of lifestyle or husband they are looking for?
After all, women have been subject to such requirements for centuries. Forget the high demand for wheatish complexions and other genetic configurations beyond biological control — everything from a woman’s skills to her value system comes under scrutiny when she reaches a ‘marriageable’ age. And this comes after ascertaining that the lucky bride belongs to the right socio-religious background.
The arranged marriage industrial complex has created a burgeoning market for such matchmaking, growing beyond community-led attempts to formal agencies. Both men and women who have been socialised in this system have (at the very least, subconscious) expectations for the kind of person they’d like to marry, and have a kind of romance to aspire to.
This is still an India where dowry — and dowry-related crimes — are a reality. Earlier this week, a 28-year-old man and his parents drove his 25-year-old wife to suicide demanding additional dowry. This is also an India where marital rape is still legal.
So, why this chafing at a clear, black-and-white list that emphasises the importance of a wealthy bridegroom?
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Insecure bridegrooms
Like most things in India, part of the issue is linked to rising unemployment and the simple fact that most Indian men don’t earn as much as a crore per annum.
Not drawing such a high salary triggers fragile masculinity — the idea being that men are traditional providers for their families, and if they don’t earn as much, can they truly take good care of those who depend on them? But misogyny frames this insecurity as outrage toward a woman who articulates her desire for a wealthy lifestyle.
One response to the original viral X post gets technical: “As per IT data, only 1.7 lakh people have an income higher than one crore in India. So her chance of finding her ‘dream’ man is 0.01% at 37 yrs of age,” writes a user.
Other comments are not as analytical. Some have zeroed in on the fact that the bride doesn’t have a father — implying that the husband would be required to care for her entire family — and that she’s 37 years old and still unmarried.
However, wading through the sexism and male outrage in the comments reveals some appreciation of the bride’s clear expectations.
“Radical hope is always better than regret I guess. Good luck to her. I like her confidence,” writes another user.
Confident brides
It should come as a welcome sign that brides are finally being open about what they’re looking for. They’ve been duped for far too long — too many generations of women have borne the curse of silence and suppressed feelings.
If anything, the post is just another excuse to stir up mock outrage over feminism and women who know what they want. It led to the predictable question of “what if genders were reversed” — but the reality is that women are already put through the wringer when metamorphosing into the perfect bride.
The same metrics often have different readings for the perfect bridegroom. According to Reddit forums, Indian men seem to be grappling with the fact that women and their families are now interested in knowing their exact degree of affluence.
So many women have been auctioned off to the highest bidder, or shackled to those willing to settle for their ‘bride price’. Perhaps it’s not so bad for men to have a taste of their own medicine.
And perhaps this openness will encourage men to up their game too, and not be complacent when entering the marriage market.
Views are personal.