After the drama, we are now looking back not-so-fondly at demonetisation. We still have no answer to why there is a Rs 2,000 note and no Rs 1,000 note.
A year has come and gone since 8 November 2016. At 8 pm on this day, our Prime Minister appeared on the television screen, and told us that the money in our pockets was just worthless pieces of paper. I stared at my wallet which was lying right there while I absorbed the news. It had one Rs 1,000 note and one Rs 500 note in it.
My first thought was, “Holy shit! How am I going to buy chicken for my cat tomorrow? Wait. How am I going to buy chicken for myself tomorrow?”
I still have those notes as a reminder of how, if a government wants to send people’s lives crashing, all it needs is a few minutes on the TV screen.
Everyone believed PM Modi when he initiated one of the most incredible, far-reaching, disruptive, mind-bending moves in the world since the Tughlaqs’ times. And practically everyone swallowed it as a ‘brave’ move to ‘wipe out corruption’ in India – without questioning. Then people started processing demonetisation in their heads, while standing in long lines outside banks.
Meanwhile, the PM and his government were going to town explaining how demonetisation is the best thing that has ever happened to India, and how it will take the rich down, benefit the poor. We, who have grown up watching movies where the corrupt rich villains stick bundles of notes under beds during the daytime, only to bring them out at night and sleep on them sexily, thought it made sense. A lot of us did, at least.
But then, questions started flying thick and fast, rules kept changing, the lines kept growing longer, people started fainting out of exhaustion and even dying.
The government explained the multiple objectives of demonetisation:
Starting with corruption: “The corrupt have stacks of money. Look at all these people who are burning sacks full of it and throwing it in garbage dumps! Hah! Totally trolled them.”
Then came terror funding: “Terrorists and Naxalites and stone-pelters have been using cash to cause so much damage! Hah! Trolled them too!”
Fake notes: “There are so many fake notes going round town. Need to flush them out!”
“Real estate prices are coming down people!”
“Brace yourself, Digital India is coming. #PaytmKaro”
“There is a GPS tracker in those notes and it is going to track all those stashers! Yuzz!”
“Cash is very bad for an economy because it is anonymous. Kill that cash! This is a War on Cash!”
“Politically speaking, Demonetisation was a brilliant move to bankrupt other parties before UP elections and win! #MachiavellianMoves”
“It is a move being done to increase the taxbase. You see, people are depositing all this hidden money in banks so now they’ll have to pay tax on it! #EpicWin”
“Soldiers are standing at the border protecting us and you can’t even stand in line for a day? Shame on you! Demonetisation was done to teach you how to respect your country. And soldiers.” (The soldiers standing in bank lines to withdraw money must’ve been confused hearing this one)
“We’re collecting so much data due to demonetisation! More data = More targeted government action = More people in jails for being corrupt! Obviously.”
“This money will increase deposits in banks. That increases liquidity! Which means this money can be used to recapitalise them banks, which are sitting on a giant stinky mountain of bad loans. All we need is one tiny accounting adjustment and BOOM! #WallStreetMoves.”
Allow me to add a few more ‘objectives’ from my side too:
To make people accept pink notes. Because who in the world wants pink notes?
To issue new notes with the Swachh Bharat campaign sign on it. It was an ad campaign, you see? Genius PR move for a better India only!
Gandhiji was looking left in the old notes. Now he’s looking right. It was all done to show an ideological shift in the nation’s thinking.
We still have no answer to why there is a Rs 2,000 note and no Rs 1,000 note. After the year-long drama, which continues to unfold, we are now looking back not-so-fondly at demonetisation. Almost 99% of all demonetised currency has returned, and RBI still doesn’t have a proper count of the currency notes. Very little fake currency was found. Digital transactions went back to pre-demonetisation levels, followed by a usual uptick due to other factors.
Fact-checkers have time-and-again pointed out that the increase in tax-base rhetoric is just number jugglery. Soldiers continue to die on the borders at the hands of terrorists, and stone-pelters are back with a bang, to attack specific soldiers from specifically Himachal Pradesh.
And my cat is now addicted to factory-made cat food that I bought using cashless means for two months during demonetisation.
Very timely and full of facts. Well done Author. Could have added a few more. Fool’s Day to be moved to Nov 8
Banning note is a cruel and undemocratic activity..
People do you still think it’s a right move. Come on wake up. Have the bribery vanished? Have black money wiped out?
Article not of high standards of The print. Very low on research and high of rhetoric. Making fun of Modi and his initiatives will not lead to anything. You should try to select article which have some new element and focus on providing alternative.
It’s hilarious I must say with all the punch lines. I laughed a lot especially when you brilliantly take a jibe at PM’s speech that stone-pelters specifically target the army from HP.
Cannot read through this full article. It is bakwaas from the beginning itself. The author acts as if his money was made useless and had no option of depositing it in his bank account and wants us to believe that all that he had was a 1000 Re. and a 500 Re. note and nothing else to buy his chicken ! And could he not feed himself on something else other than a chicken for a day or two, if at all it was such a great problem for him.