New Delhi: Late one evening, a frantic young man from Bhopal rang up the Radio Mirchi office in Delhi desperate to talk to RJ Rochie Rana. On her show Mirchi Insta Pyaar, he asked how to respond to an invitation to join an orgy. There were going to be two sofas, a tray of snacks, and next to it a large bowl of condoms. The radio was what he turned to for advice. Spotify may have changed the way music is consumed, and Gen Z is swiping right on Tinder, but India’s radio love gurus are still shepherding the lost, lonely and lovelorn.
But the nature of the problems has evolved. Instead of questions on ‘crushes’ and first dates, radio jockeys like Rana, Rahul Makin, and the mysterious Love Guru are increasingly doling out advice on gender identity, sexual discovery, same-sex relationships, situationships—and the occasional orgy etiquette.
“Some formulas of love don’t change, and even though Gen Z has different problems — everyone still wants mature advice at the end of the day. Love shows are about bringing personal experiences and that is what radio jocks bring to the table. They form an interpersonal relationship, which keeps these shows on top,” says Ravi Gurjar, programming director at Radio City.
Social media has upended the way people interact, but listeners find that there is an intimacy to calling up an RJ that the likes on Instagram and Facebook cannot replace. A radio show is almost like your best friend.
“Even though radio jockeys are not always equipped to give advice, they become agony aunts and uncles. And the people who tune in aren’t always seeking a solution. They just want to be heard or are listening because they can relate [to the content],” said former radio jockey Akash Banerji, who hosted a love show Dil Chahta Hai on Radio Mirchi in 2002, and is now the founder of The Deshbhakt, an online satirical political news platform.
Radio jockeys have developed their own distinctive style to stand out from all the background chatter. Rana, who has been an RJ since 2005, is the non-judgemental friend next door, someone who is easy to confide in.
“My show is simply an extension of myself as a person,” she said. She giggles with her callers, even gasps when she hears a bizarre story and supports them without passing judgement. Like most RJs, she has a bubbly personality and connects with listeners who are half her age.
Ankit Khandelwal, a 28-year-old businessman from Jaipur has been a fan of Rana’s voice for about four years now. When he’s going out for a drive or is coming back late from work, he tunes into her show which airs at 9 pm.
“Rochie discusses a lot of new age topics, issues between girlfriends and boyfriends and a lot of sex stories too,” he said.
And while he has never actually called her up for advice, he’s drawn to the way she carries herself on the medium. “I only listen to her show, because of her tone that really makes one feel like they are a part of the conversation.”
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New generation, new rules
In an increasingly ‘woke’ world, RJs are especially careful while navigating the minefield of topics and issues that they are bombarded with. Religion and politics are usually big no-nos. There’s also a lot of planning and screening involved.
“We usually pre-decide topics, after which Rochie goes live on her social media handle and invites callers. If the topic is on those who have been in love with their teachers, she asks her audience if that is the case. And when they DM or respond, we get in touch with them and let them on the show,” says Mansi Guher, the show producer for Rana’s show.
Today, an RJ’s influence is not limited to just the airwaves. They host on-ground events and are active across social media platforms from Instagram to Twitter to Facebook. Radio City’s Love Guru, who takes great pains to conceal his identity, has a small army of devoted fans on social media. He dispenses general advice through Facebook and Instagram reels. He talks about smiling together as a couple, the importance of space in a relationship, and maintaining trust in the long term. His online fandom thanks him and air their grievances in the comments.
Under a reel about whether it’s okay to fall in love with a married person, a user lauds him saying that the have shown the right path to lakhs of people using such simple words. Another commenter says “your advice and voice work like a pain reliever for us.”
Former RJ Roshan Abbas who pioneered the movement of discussing love on All India Radio, with his show Live Wire in 1995, said he witnessed a lot of heartbreak and people pining endlessly over their partners.
“Back in the day, people knew nothing about hookups or rebounds. They would break up with one person and think they have lost everything,” said Abbas, who is the founder of Kommune India, a storytelling and poetry collective.
Today, Gen Z listeners have grown impatient, and more often than not, it’s about instant gratification.
“Gen Z wants love quickly, but they also want it to be perfect. They have greater demands, and easily lose interest and move on if they do not get it,” says Love Guru.
If Rana is the non-judgemental friend next door, then the Love Guru is the elder brother. He’s been hosting the show at Radio City since 2003. After all these years, his style has stayed the same. He is old school and delves into more serious topics, such as marriages falling apart. His callers range from middle-aged women to members of the LGBTQ community who are being forced into heterosexual marriages.
“What surprises me is that 80 per cent of our younger callers are in online relationships. Some have even been talking for years on end and never met. So much has changed from callers years ago trying desperately to spend more time with their partner,” said Love Guru.
Equally interesting but perhaps less surprising is that small-town India is not just tuning in but calling RJs as well to discuss matters from the heart. He gets calls from listeners from cities like Bareilly and Nanded—and that’s what has kept this show thriving for years.
“I get calls from young students in Kota, asking me how to make time for their girlfriends while balancing their education. Or women who feel stuck in their marriages,” he said.
The RJs themselves have become objects of affection, celebrities with an instantly recognizable voice. Cakes, flowers, and even idols of gods routinely show up at their offices from their listeners. Love Guru has attracted such a wide listenership that he has to turn away the gift deliveries from his office reception.
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Radio awakened young India
There was a time when a radio jockey was a relatively unknown entity. Abbas had another show on All India Radio in 1996 called Balance Barabar. Conceptualised by Disha, a project of Population Services International (PSI), a nonprofit global health organisation, the show tackled everything from AIDs to sexuality. It was on this show that masturbation was spoken on air for the first time, according to an India Today report.
As a 25-year-old, Abbas was a relatable voice for young India. He was unsure if people would actually air their sexual stories on the radio, but the Indian population saw it as an avenue they did not have before, he said.
“I kissed a boy, will I now get pregnant?”, or “I didn’t use a condom last night, what happens next?” are some of the questions Abbas received.
“It allowed people to be as raw as raw can be. It was as if India was on mute, and somebody had finally unmuted them,” Abbas said.
The year 2002 ushered in the era of private FM. That was when Akash Banerji turned into Dr. Love. He began hosting Dil Chahta Hai on Radio Mirchi after 11 pm. He was barely a college graduate at the time, but it worked in his favour. He brought zest to the show. He was almost like the congenial boy best friend in a classroom that women could trust.
Banerji described the various gender dynamics he saw during that time and was baffled at how most women never wanted to make the first move. “They would always ask me, what they can do to make a boy talk to them or propose to them. Most of them never even thought they could go and do it themselves,” he said.
Today, Rana finds herself having conversations with women callers who talk fearlessly about sex. Some are upset that they don’t have a high enough “body count” (enough sexual partners), while others approach her for advice to convince their partners to have sex with them more than three times a week.
Rana recalled an instance of a caller who cheated on her boyfriend with her best friend’s partner because she was looking for better sex.
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The dark side of love
But there’s also a darker side to love, which creeps into radio shows as well. And no amount of screening completely exorcises this bitter side. It’s when callers talk about rejection, obsession and dejection.
RJ Rahul Makin on Fever.fm even conducts a loyalty test on callers’ partners. During the test, an “agent” pretends to flirt with the partner, and tries to lure them in with sweet words.
Not everything is fun and games. A caller on Love Guru’s show spoke about how he felt dejected and does not know if he can find love again, because a woman he loved left him for a richer man.
“Many people tell me they’re depressed from heartbreak or are discontented with their love lives. It’s as common as the flu. Depression is a word we didn’t hear much in, say, 2005,” said Love Guru.
Male callers too are more willing to lay bare their broken hearts. “Men have infinitely cried more on my show than women. We get many guys telling us they’ve loved the same woman for years, and hoping that the women they love are listening to them on the show,” said Rana.
People are reaching out for a connection no matter how fleeting or ephemeral it may be. “The more alienated we are from ourselves, the deeper our search for love is. The human heart seeks very deep connections, despite being distracted and inundated by a million other things,” she said.
What remains unchanged though are the cackles of laughter, honest confessions and tears.
“The sound of a heart breaking is so universal. The way one loves, and the way one’s heart breaks, is something that hasn’t changed in my experience across the years,” said Rana.
(Edited by Theres Sudeep)