Yeti or not to be?” asked the one-foot creature of its reflection in the frozen mirror of the ice-capped Himalayan mountains.
“That is the question,” explained the furry black-brown bear staring back at it, “they are asking in the TV studios”.
“Let it be, let it be,” sang out a snowy apparition that suddenly appeared from nowhere, “We’re on TV! Oh, is that Arnab or Akshay I see before me coming up the mountainside for an interview?”
“Ah, then, the best is yet to be!” they chorused in unison and danced around the footprints of their collective being.
Also read: For decades, Daniel Taylor searched for the Yeti behind the footprints & found the culprit
Meanwhile, back in the TV news studios, there were several sightings: hoary beasts, black Asiatic bears, and Tibetan brown bears were seen blundering along, with Tintin in hot pursuit, across news channels, Tuesday morning, after the Indian army released photographs of its sensational discovery of footprints, which it claimed belonged to the mythical creature in the Himalayas.
“Giant footprints sighted… Indian Army claims it’s a Yeti’’ announced Times Now. But was it a yeti, a bear or was it Tintin in Tibet? None were sure – the nature of the beast they were dealing with eluded them.
Anchors and reporters then discovered that the Yeti-bear-snowman wasn’t the only one experiencing an identity crisis—it had Rahul Gandhi for company after the Ministry of Home Affairs wanted to know whether he was Indian or British – “Rahul Gandhi or Raul Vinci?” was Republic TV’s nasty question.
“London wale ya Lutyens’ wale?” was Sambit Patra’s more acidic query. By the way, the BJP spokesperson is back on air, sporting a freshly-acquired tan from his campaign in the backwaters of Odisha.
Priyanka Gandhi was ready to vouch for Rahul’s Indian identity: “Everyone knows he was born and brought up here, Yeh kya bakwas hai?” she told whichever TV microphone was thrust before her.
Also read: In photos: Priyanka charms Amethi for brother Rahul Gandhi
Most news channels forsook the Yeti-bear for Rahul Gandhi and the story acquired life and death proportions when Republic TV’s Arnab Goswami revealed on his evening debate that officers had told him that they could not reveal details about Rahul Gandhi’s citizenship as their lives were in ‘danger’. No less.
If the outcome of the 2019 Lok Sabha elections were to be decided in the TV studios of news channels, Rahul Gandhi would win easily and handsomely – and he wouldn’t require the services of a RaGa TV channel to win. While Prime Minister Narendra Modi may receive fulsome praise and live coverage of his speeches, Rahul Gandhi is the topic of greatest fascination and the name – whether it is Rahul or Raul—that comes most frequently to the lips of all anchors. They can’t get enough of him.
Tuesday morning, news channels couldn’t get enough of the Yeti-bear, either, partly because of one peculiarity: It seemed to walk on only one foot.
“Mysterious… single foot,” commented Times Now somewhat haplessly.
“This should be given to scientists…” believed its correspondent. The anchor smilingly observed that this had been the “subject of mockery” on social media and hastily changed the topic to Congress president Rahul Gandhi’s “foreign citizenship” and the Supreme Court’s strictures on his attributing “Chowkidar chor hai” to the judges.
On India Today, Shiv Aroor wanted you to believe the one-footprint trail in the snow deserved some serious consideration. “The Yeti Mystery” featured a panel of eminent mountaineer experts called in to study the imprints and see what they could make of them. “Let’s discuss what the implications are…” pronounced Aroor gravely as if he was discussing the Balakot air strike.
Correspondent Abhishek asked what was on everyone’s mind: “(We’re) wondering where it (footprint) came from…”
Also read: After Tintin and Tom and Jerry, now it’s Indian Army’s turn to find a Yeti link
Now, who would have ever believed a day would come when TV news would discuss the Indian Army and Tintin in the same breath, and with such seriousness? Why, you almost expected to see more intrepid TV personalities, like India Today’s Gaurav Sawant emerge from a mock igloo, dressed up like a bear – or a Yeti – to discuss the latest news on the military front.
Finally, to advertising: Rahul Gandhi also features prominently in the TV advertisements for the Congress currently playing on news channels as does Narendra Modi in BJP’s advertisements. Interestingly, seen the BJP’s advertisements on NewsX and Republic, while Congress ads appear prominently on NDTV’s channels—does this tell us something?
A more unusual advertisement promotes the need for everyone to vote. It features a venal-looking neta who has just won an election being congratulated by the crowds when he runs into a horrified young man who wonders how he came to be elected. Because you didn’t vote, is the reply.
I will vote for Yeti over Rahul any day! 🙂