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Bihar family hides mom’s Covid infection from villagers, but feeds 600 at her funeral feast

In Bihar's Rohtas district, family of 85-yr-old Urmila Devi delayed getting her tested, then hid her Covid status over fear of social boycott. But nearly everyone turned up for funeral feast.

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Rohtas:Iss baar bheed nahin lag rahi hai, bas do chaar padosi aa raha hai bhoj mein (There won’t be a crowd this time, just a few neighbours will come for the bhoj),” Uma Shankar, a neighbour and relative of 85-year-old Urmila Devi, who died a fortnight ago after contracting Covid in Bihar’s Rohtas district, had told ThePrint Saturday.

Shankar’s words, though, were belied by the crowd of 600 that turned up for Urmila Devi’s bhoj Monday — a feast organised by the family of the deceased 13 days after death.

Shankar’s belief that not many would turn up for the event had not been misplaced. There is a fear among villagers of Covid that often takes the form of stigma.

Urmila Devi’s family had done its best to keep her illness a secret. “I was worried when my mother showed Covid-like symptoms such as cough, chest pain and fever,” said her youngest son, 59-year-old Amarender Singh.

Urmila Devi's son Amarendra Singh | Jyoti Yadav | ThePrint
Urmila Devi’s son Amarender Singh | Jyoti Yadav | ThePrint

A resident of Baraon village, in Nokha block, Rohtas district, Urmila Devi fought against the virus for 18 days. The family admitted that they delayed a Covid test for her as they feared that if the report was positive, they would have to isolate and would not be able to take care of her. They also feared the reaction of friends and neighbours and possible social boycott.

Even when they did get a test done and the results revealed Covid, the family told no one about it. Nor did they take Urmila Devi to a hospital.

Still word got around.

Ajay kumar, a resident of the village told ThePrint, “These days if someone falls sick, people immediately think it’s Covid. So they avoid going to that person’s house. And she (Urmila Devi) had all the symptoms of the disease.”

Her funeral on 21 May had been attended by only a dozen close relatives. But that, said residents, was the usual practice, even in pre-Covid days.

The bhoj is another matter altogether — it’s usually attended by the entire village. Family members and neighbours of Urmila Devi said 600 attendees for her bhoj was also a modest number — in pre-Covid times, there would have been over a 1,000 guests.


Also read: Covid killed parents, 3 Bihar siblings now fight virus stigma — ‘no one even offered food’


Feasting for the dead

Urmila Devi’s is not an isolated case. In village after village, on the travels through rural Bihar in the past one month, ThePrint saw that while fear of infection has stigmatised Covid to the point that families are often forced to hide infections or mourn deaths alone, weddings and the funeral feasts, or bhoj, continue to draw hundreds — without masks or any adherence to norms of social distancing.

“When we eat at the feasts organised by other families, then we too will have to invite others when there is a death in our family. It’s the custom. If someone doesn’t follow it, he will alienate the village. So bhoj has to be organised. Even if one has to sell off one’s house or land to feed others,” said a guest at Urmila Devi’s bhoj, who didn’t want to be named.

Adding that when it came to adherence to customs, the cause of death didn’t matter, he said. “It doesn’t matter if the deceased was a Covid patient. The family will have to organise a feast and invite others. Those who are scared, will not come. Others will.”

According to Bihar state government figures, there have been 5,163 Covid deaths in the state. That would mean a near-equal number of bhoj gatherings.

A group of doms — those who make a living from cremating bodies — living a kilometre away from Urmila Devi’s house had told ThePrint Saturday that they would be attending two bhoj ceremonies Monday, one of them was Urmila Devi’s. Another counted the number of more such feasts that they would attending in the coming days.

On Monday, 13 days after Urmila Devi’s death, the family spent approximately Rs 2 lakh in feeding neighbours and relatives who attended the bhoj. They had only spent Rs 12,000 on her treatment.

Two days earlier, another ritual, the shraadh, had been organised. A ‘small’ feast — smaller than the bhoj— was prepared, for more than 200 people.

Echoing the words of his guest, Urmila Devi’s son, Amarender told ThePrint, “Bhoj to karna hi padega. (We have to organise a bhoj.) We can’t upset people, can we? When we have eaten at other people’s functions, we have to invite them to ours.”

Meanwhile, some among the family were still doing their best to assure everyone attending Saturday’s shraadh that Urmila Devi didn’t die of Covid.

“If she was Covid positive then why did none of us get it from her? We were 10 people living under the same roof, looking after her, touching her,” one of her grandsons, Ajit, had asked.

(Edited by Poulomi Banerjee)


Also read: In Bihar’s Bhojpur, quacks are ‘Gods who save lives’ as hospitals battle Covid burden


 

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