New Delhi: Loneliness does not always lead to sadness. Research by the University of Georgia suggests unsocial kids may be happier than you think.
The study titled “Belief in the Importance of Belonging Mitigates the Negative Effects of Unsociable Withdrawal” found that unsociability predicts dyadic and network dissatisfaction, but only when children report that belonging is relatively unimportant to them.
“It is possible that beliefs about the importance of belonging motivate some children who are unsociable to accept more social bids from peers, suggesting such beliefs could be a reasonable intervention target for educators,” the study read.
Researchers collected data from 473 fourth- and fifth-grade students from multiple elementary schools in Georgia. Students were asked to identify classmates who prefer to play alone even though they get along well with others.
The study then examined the children who withdraw from peer interaction due to a preference for playing alone. It suggests reminding children that they have the option of joining their peers but shouldn’t be forced to interact if they don’t feel like it.
“There are things we do because we know what’s good for us. We go exercise. We eat our vegetables. We know it’s important. We might not want to do it, but we do it because it’s good for us,” said Michele Lease, co-author of the study.
“Social interaction is the same way. Turning down invitations, like avoiding exercise, leads to poorer outcomes,” the educational psychology professor added.
Research further found that kids identified by their peers as “not social” were often dissatisfied with their position in the class. These children were unhappy that they often sat alone at lunch or weren’t approached first for reading groups.
However, the withdrawn children were still able to maintain successful individual friendships.
“By fourth and fifth grade, peer groups are more established, children have developed stronger social skills, and they have more experience interacting with one another,” said Rachael Pfanz, co-author and an elementary school psychologist.
“At that point, they are better able to recognise who is regularly playing alone and who is becoming isolated,” Pfanz explained.
Also Read: The great cartoon divide—Boys cause the mess, girls hold the mop
Feeling of belonging
According to the study, children who didn’t think fitting in was important were more likely to be dissatisfied with others at both a friendship and class level.
The research suggested that this may be because these children accept enough social invitations to feel included but are also comfortable declining invitations.
“These kids prefer to be alone and do their own thing rather than playing with their peers, but they still have that other flip side of getting along well with others,” Pfanz said.
According to her, they will not always reject social invitations like the other group, though.
“If they’re invited, they will sometimes participate and socialise with others. That higher importance of belonging drives them to engage in more social invitations when maybe they wouldn’t want to, and that suits them well,” the school psychologist added.
The study further suggested that teachers and parents should consider these findings when organising group activities or before pushing a kid into a social situation they don’t want to participate in.
“Maybe don’t ask them to go join the big soccer game right away on the playground. That’s a little overwhelming if they’re already preferring to play alone. Instead, encourage those solo kids to go join a small group that has similar behaviours and see how that goes,” Pfanz said.
(Edited by Insha Jalil Waziri)