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Do Indian (Parents) Still View Mobile Phones with Suspicion – In 2023?
I had a frustrating morning: I tried – and failed utterly – to get my daughter’s school authorities to see reason. There is an out-of-town school trip in the offing and the school has imposed a blanket ban on any of the students carrying mobile phones. Apparently this is with a view to ensure that the kids have fun in ways that the school approves of – which does not include phones, social media and its attendant evils. Even the security argument did not wash; the school authorities remained adamant about enforcing the no-mobile policy.
We have seen this happen repeatedly
There have been numerous instances of khaps and similar quasi-judicial bodies ban the use of mobile phones, especially for women. Apparently phones have a bad effect on girls, who then proceed to have relationships with boys because of said phones. Also somehow, when women use phones this leads to them being eve teased and to other crimes against them.
We saw headlines about this from Aligarh in UP, from Madora also in UP, another such firmaan from a community panchayat and so many others. If there is a problem, ban… something. A simple, neat if wholly ineffectual solution. (To its credit, the school won’t let girls or boys carry phones – they are unreasonable regardless of gender)
Phones are a necessity
During the COVID lockdowns, phones were a lifesaver, making it possible for schools to impart some semblance of an education to kids stuck at home. That being the case, phones are now a necessity for children to access assignments that teachers send, to turn in those assignments and so on. Phones have entered the curriculum so to speak and kids now rely on them.
For all its ills (and yes I am well aware of the perils) social media has also been very useful. I would go so far as to say that being able to stay in touch with their friends remotely over social media kept a lot of kids sane. It helped kids stay in touch with others of their age and prevented them losing valuable and self-affirming connections with friends. All the forced isolation was terrible for young kids who should have be interacting with others their age. Since they could not, social media offered them ways to do this.
Too immersed in phones?
Yes, kids these days are way to immersed in their phones. For a parent it is annoying in the extreme to have to repeat a question thrice before they can elicit a distracted ‘huh’ from a child that cannot seem to tear their eyes away from an endlessly fascinating screen. The exasperation is acute as this mother of two teens will tell you.
However, the answer is not to take that phone away from kids. The solution is to teach kids simple good manners and phone etiquette: to limit phone use, not to use their phone when there are others around, not to rudely ignore people IRL in favour of people online.
Adult-sanctioned fun
We Indian parents have a specific, rather narrow understanding of what constitutes fun. Only adult-sanctioned fun is fun. If kids now have a different definition of fun, this is unacceptable. Sure, in our time social interaction was face to face. It was only face to face. Kids today have access to both. Why grudge them this?
Yes, two teams playing a game of basketball or Dumb Charades against each other is super fun. But playing Triple Agent on a handheld device with a group of friends can be as much fun. I have seen my kids do all three and enjoy each activity equally. How about getting off our high horse and widening our concept of what constitutes fun as parents? How about not foisting our version of fun on kids?
Phones are not going anywhere – they are here to stay. So really what is the point of denying kids access? We need them more and more – for GPS tracking (one of the reasons I told the school authorities I wanted my daughter to carry her phone, an activity that could be considered perilously close to stalking, but let’s not go there), payments, entertainment, communication, information, news…. The list goes on.
Technology always has the potential of misuse. The solution is education, not cutting off access. Because when we cut off access we cut off access we cut off access to a host of ways in which our kids can be safe, more aware, better informed and yes, better entertained. If a school’s reaction to an electronic device is similar to a Khap diktat, then that school should introspect… and attempt to rejoin the rest of the world in 2023.
Also read: SubscriberWrites: Foundation of India’s success in 2050 needs to be laid now
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