I object to #MeToo because I see, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations, says Tavleen Singh.
Here, dear Barkha, is my answer to the many, many whys in your video letter.
Why do I not think #MeToo is an appropriate movement? I do not believe an allegation against a man should be taken as an assumption of guilt. I believe that everyone – man and woman – should have the right to remain innocent till guilt is proven.
My second objection is to the victimhood that the movement implies. My generation of women fought for our place in the workplace – as your mother did a little before us – not by being victims but by being fighters. Rights are not usually given to victims but those who fight for them.
Also read: Barkha Dutt’s open letter to #MeToo critics Tavleen Singh, Seema Mustafa & Manjeet Kripalani
Your charge that we have ‘rationalised rape’ is quite simply, absurd. None of the women in the media who have charged editors and writers with ‘sexual harassment’ have said they were raped. Some of the sexual harassment could have been dealt with by simply speaking up in one voice at the time it occurred. M.J. Akbar was himself an employee and if so many women were being molested by him on a daily basis, they could have come together and complained against him to the owner of the newspaper. It is a mystery that they did not if he was so awful a ‘sexual predator’.
Also read: MJ Akbar: The brilliant editor who’s now seen as India’s most high-profile sexual predator
You say there are fewer women in the Indian workplace now than before. This is primarily because of mechanisation in agriculture not because they were kicked out of newsrooms for not succumbing to the unwanted attention of editors.
You object to my calling Akbar ‘flawed’ and say that flawed applies in a consensual relationship. Actually, in my book, that is romance. It can sometimes be a flawed affair but that is not always the fault of the man.
Also read: Hang in there women, MJ Akbar is a victory, but the #MeToo fight is just starting
I have worked since I was 19 because I needed a job – specially after I became a single mother. So I know the importance of the economic need for women to work.
I also object to #MeToo because I see that, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations. When it begins to include women who are truly vulnerable, it will have my fullest support.
Also read: Unnao teen has no clue of #MeToo, just wants her ‘rapist’ BJP MLA sacked
To charge us with misogyny is absurd.
In the case of the girl who, I said, had gone alone to Suhel Seth’s house more than once, my question is: if he hit on her, why did she go more than once? And, why did she not just give him a kick in the right place instead of waiting 10 years to complain?
I say women who go into a hotel room, and a man opens the door in his underwear or in a bathrobe, should either run for their lives or be prepared to fight back unwanted advances. I was once stalked to my hotel room in the Islamabad Hotel in Pakistan’s capital by a man with an Uzi. I was scared out of my wits but not that scared that I could not call reception and make a huge stink.
Fundamentally, the difference between my generation of women and those who are in the #MeToo movement is that we were not victims. We were not ‘trailblazers’ as you say, but just not victims. I would have said all these things to you in the tweets we have exchanged in the past week, but tweets limit articulation.
The author is a senior journalist and columnist.
Barkh thieves also conduct between themselves with some dignity. The so called MeToo victims are highly undignified when after eons they publically and shamelessly shout from the rooftop about their victimhood and name the so called culprit. By bringing an ugly event to the streets these women have made the things uglier to such an exten that even significant numbef of other women like Tavleen are questioning the definion of the victimhood employed by these MeToo ladies.
Mam, respectfully disagree. Rights need be given to only victims who fight for them. A just society has to have basic rights available to them. And not being harassed is basic. Though metoo ain’t perfect but free speech and democracy are flawed too. We don’t dump them do we. Metoo is empowering but should be used carefully. I personally feel MJ akhbar, Alok nath, Vikas and Sajid have abused their victims. Thank you.
Ms Tavleen Singh ji, please don’t take offense. If you do than plant it it will grow. You are doing the worst form of so called jourlism. Your age time duration do not even deliberately comprehend the pain the girls r going thru. You r intentionally covering the incidents of sexual predatory misconduct of your celebrity friends. Hope its not paid advocacy. Have shame. Use constraints. Psychologically You r the man pretending to be a woman. You r epitome of elite circle of so called journos, like khus want Singh, who change their views as per personal gains.. Ref.Emergency imposed by than PM. We’re you sent to jail. No. Why? You never protested? Lutens दिल्ली… लुट गयी दिल्ली… Now you r out of favour. Establishment is not lucking feudal journos. If you so against Me Too.. Speak to Menka Gandhi… Start an agitation to save your friends, the accused predators… You people think that Indian public r fools. They don’t understand your intent… It’s over. Retire..
Love you Tavleen for this nice reply to hypocrite Barkha.
Dear Madam ,
Do u mean to say , it is wrong to raise voice . R u sure u r not going overboard in defence of some one ? Or it is bloated ego .
What is wrong in coming out in the open ? You appear hassled . Why can’t u accept differing point of view .
Metoo is b******* coz those who are complaining have gained what they wanted from the victims (men) and as they are now mostly well settled they r pointing fingers.
Lets see the foremost thing, the izzat, that was crushed by these so called animals. If u care about izzat, u wont allow anyone to touch u at first instance, let alone going to him repeated times and it doesnt matter if u r successful or not.
So all these cases r more of a Barter System, where u give something in favour of recieving something back. Now to seek attention someone or another is writing posts daily.
First let them clarify what they mean by izzat then come and blame someone.
Thank You, Tavleen,
Most of the Journalist in India Act like Paparazzi.
People who reacts to Media Trail should be accountable. Men and Boys should have some safety net.
I feel just People letting go from their respective job without proper investigation, just by calling out the name in social media is not fair. Hopefully, people will support the innocent bystander.
Many men have been falsely accused and jailed too.
Personal who has lost Jobs in USA has been investigated and proven guilty.
If not guilty, ” the best example,” the newly appointed USA Supreme Court Judge”.Brett Kavanaugh. Even though, he was accuse of sexual harassment, there was no evidence to prove his guilt.
#Me too is great platform, but should use appropriately to Educate the True meaning…..
Even at the time of the famous Rupan Deol case Tavleen singh had made ridiculous comments. she said that hundreds of women are molested each day while going to their workplace, they don’t complain. then why is she complaining against KPS Gill?
Women like Tavleen Singh are women’s worst enemies
Barha, who? Oh, that Barha!Dear lady who cares what you say,think,convey.
You admitted 70% ladies face harassment at work place. I say every lady experienced bad side of male species. But not everyone coming with complains at a time people think only to attract attention.That is sad.
Many women built their career,money and reputation with support of man.After achievement,they are crying foul.That is bad.
“I object to #MeToo because I see, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations, says Tavleen Singh.”
Mam, this was a very absurd reason to give. At least some of the women are getting a chance to speak. We are currently seeing how much criticism do ‘the most empowered Indian women’ receive when they allege someone, then what do you think will be done to a middle class woman.
Moreover, if you truly knew Indian society, you would have known if the empowered would get support then only the other women would have courage to speak up.
Mam, fully agreed with your views.
Thanks for your post. And don’t worry about dogs who barks. Your journalism is far more superior than these fake SICKULARS, especially Barkha, Rajdeep, Karan Thapper, gang.
Respect for you, as always.
Dear Tavleenji ,
Very well written no doubt , and equally compelling warranting both introspection and re-viewing the subject from a different angle. It was much needed.
I hold no issues personally against Barkha or like’s of her but have never been a huge fan or in agreement with her views right from ” Op Vijay days” hence shall rest my two bits of unsolicited suggestion/questions to this –
1. What is the true definition of “Me Too”?? Is it pure physical abuse or can it be as vague as staring at someone? What are the judgement parameters?
2. Who Decide’s these Parameters????
3. If Naming n Shaming is the only limited agenda then why fuss ? It has for now become pure Masala Gossip value loosing its actual relevance even before it could truly become a revolution in its own right.
God willing folks from all walks will be more aware of what to do if faced with such a situation if nothing else.
Thankyou and Good Luck
Ms Tavleen, it is easier said than done. This argument is even held out against little children who are molested by manipulative adults. We have heard mothers day “why did you go there” “why did you not run away” “why did you not shout”. Some of them even hammer their children for having exposed themselves to the danger. Heart of heart they know it is not their child’s fault, but out of helplessness they tend to blame the child.
Similarly, who asked the dalta to be victims for so long?
Who asked the blacks to be slaves for so long?
The imbalance of power between the male and female is 100s if not 1000s of years fine tuned. Women are victims first and therefore fighters now.
Support the victims and help them to become fighters as they are trying to be
Great reply by Tavleen to Hippocrates & pseudo journalist like Barkha.
Wow what a fantastic reply from a real journalist Talveen Singh to a hypocrite pseudo journalist Barkha Dutt. Who is nothing but attaintion seeker. By using different tactics she can not wash away her Radia tape sins.
I have a question for Tavleen Singh. Do women who are not LIKE YOU have no right to complain if they are molested? On a different note, both Barkha Dutt and Tavleen Singh are past their best. In their current phase, they are a disgrace to journalism. I have a small suggestion for Barkha Dutt. Just take any one of your shows (and take any one episode from it: your choice) and view it in slow motion, frame by frame. Your repeated butting-ins, completing guest’s sentences, repeating what the guest says, and adding emphasis to guests’ utterances are so grating. Once a journalist becomes a celebrity journalist, he/she ceased to be a journalist. Do us a favor: just get out of this profession. That will be a great service to an average citizen.
Completely agree with you on that
I think we should start a #me too movement for mental harassment from the like of Dutt.. why does she get into things she does not understand.
Dear Ms. Tavleen, I do not fully agree with Metoo# but then I do not fully agree with you. I myself am considered a strong women with whom no man will mess up. But I see and know many girls / women who are vulnerable and week. Who get scared by smallest incidents. And when it comes to work place, the things changes when all are licking feets of strong and they will say what the harasser says. I will not change in a blue moon. Also, it is very easy for too many people to claim a woman wrong in fact they can easily call them hookers. When this word gets out, no company will hire her. No one including family will accept her. Only few families come out to support their daughter. This is prevailing till date. This movement would have given courage to some (I say this because they may have got stronger with time but did not see that whether still she can speak out her mind). Pls look into the matter of Alisha Chinoy or Tanushree Dutta. They came up and complained when the incident happened. But was given no heed. There may be some absurd allegations but not all allegations are absurd. I agree with Barkha that if you can’t support, don’t blame. To know how much their shoe hurts, please wear someone’s shoe first.
I loved your reply!! Tavleen is painting every other girl’s situation like her own. Trust me there are companies who do not even inform a female employee that the said client’s given address is not an office but is actually their Home. There are so many cheap setups between Ceo’s and other heads to get female employs cornered. She will never understand someone else’s predicament. When you raise your voice in the company you have to leave the company. But even then their should be such MeToo platforms for such girls to atleast vent out their stories.
I cannot Thank Tanushree enough. God bless her for bringing this change.
JUst because some cases are exaggerated does not mean we should completely dismiss the campaign.
मोतरिमा बरखा ( दत्त,दराबू और कुछ और भी शायद) मीडिया और खुद की जिंदगी में शातिर मौका परस्त खिलाड़ी रही है,वो कोई भी ऐसा मौका नहीं चूकती जहां से उसे सस्ती लोकप्रियता मिले और जाती व काम की दुनिया में कोई फायदा मिले।उनकी जिंदगी का फलसफा है ,,,नाम होना चाहिए चाहे बदनाम सही,, उपर उठने के लिये कितनी सीढ़ीयां का इस्तेमाल कर चुकी है और आगे भी लाइन खुली है।
अगर एक औरत चाहे तो कोई उसको कुछ नहीं कर सकता, बाकी बेकार की बात है ,ताली दो हाथ से बजती है। फायदे के आगे कायदे पर्दे के पीछे की कहानियां हैं जिसमें मिर्च मसाले का तड़का लगा कर चटकारे लगाने की हल्के स्वाद की वाह वाह होती है। कहने वाले के लिये क्या टेस्ट था ,और सुनने वाले के लिए महज एक मज़ाक।
भारतीय समाज की सोच ,एक यूरोपियन सोच की अंधी नकल है, वहां हालीवुड ,और अन्य क्षेत्रों में बड़े धड़ल्ले से ऐसे मसलों को उछाल कर मजे लिये जाते हैं ,यही कारण है वहां , सिंगल मदर,लिव इन रिलेशनशिप, मतलब की शादी और चटपट तलाक,और एक मां से अलग अलग बाप के बच्चे या एक बाप के अलग-अलग मां से बच्चे, आम बात है। यहां तो ऐसा नहीं है कुछ ज्यादा आधुनिकता का दिखावा करने वाले समुदाय के लोगों के अलावा।
तवलीन सिंह ,एक बेहतरीन पत्रकार के साथ साथ हिम्मत वाली महिला रही है जिनके साथ किसी हल्के स्तर की कोई चीज जुड़ी हुई नहीं मिली है। इस लेख से उन्होंने अच्छा संदेश देने का प्रयास किया है ,पक्ष विपक्ष विचार धारा में होता ही है।
“”* मी। टू”””” पर मेरा व्यक्तिगत विचार यह है ,आज के वक्त में दूसरे की टांग पकड़ कर नीचे खींचने का फैशन हमारी सोसायटी का हिस्सा बन गया है, कीचड़ में पत्थर से छींट न पड़े,और हमाम में कौन-कौन नंगा , एक ज्यादा पढ़े लिखे पर मूर्ख समुदाय का शोबा बन गया है।
Straight talk by Tavleen Singh, as usual. Wonder when, or if, Barkha Dutt will ever stop trying to “give it those ones”.
I completely agree with Tavleen. Most of the #MeeToo victims, who said couldn’t fathom the courage to speak out and protest then, are protesting now not because they are more courageous now, but it is convenient for them, now that they are no longer working under the same boss. They allowed themselves to be trampled upon in all sense and moved out only when they couldn’t take it any more. That explains that sexual exploitation was not the only reason for quitting. Had it been so, they would have moved out at the first instance. The woman, who felt uncomfortable in the presence of her editor, on the very first day of her interview, shouldn’t have joined at all unless she was in a hand-to-mouth situation. I would also like to ask why those women, who felt humiliated, sexually harassed every day, didn’t cry out or protest then, indulging the sexual predator to go on preying about, taking their silence to be some sort of indulgence/ complicity. I am not defending men, who resort to such base behaviour, but as responsible women, we have greater responsibility to set a wrong right at the earliest.
SHARED IT, BARKHA. PRADIP BISWAS, FILM CRITIC, THE INDIAN EXPRESS.
Barkha Dutt is a predator and not a victim. She is trying to join the Gang to drive some benefit as she tries to do with anything she deals with. Her only better side is her Lutyins English
I am 100percent agree with Tavleen. She has ability to understand the topic,situationand its implications unlike Burkha. Sorry Burkha has long way to go to reach Tavleen status.I reads Tavleen from her India Today’s days.
Love you Tavleen ma’am,
Peoples have been miss using the me-too stages,
No wonder Tavleen Singh is such a respected journalist. What can one say about Dutt? Why wake up after a decade when the pain occurred. Strike at the predator – strike hard – then and there. Acts of victimisation should be gieven a damn. Kudos Ms Singh for speaking facts. Ms Dutt, whole India knows your antics.
This article is gold.????
And I seriously never thought Barkha Dutta was taken this much serious! ????
Good to see real women speaking up and not falling in to the bullying by the intellectual mafia of which Barkha Dutt is the shameless flag-bearer. Very rightly pointed by Mrs. Singh that women need to fight any wrongs rather than quiet and speaking up years later when convenient. And yes, rights are given to those who fight, not to those who are victims.
Beautifully said, Ms Tavleen Singh as always. I disagree on the point that #MeToo is not inclusive. Consider this as a begining. It will catch fire. I agree that some of the complaints sound flimsy and opportunistic. May be when pan is hot everyone wants to bake their bread. I think more and more women are getting degrees and getting into workforce. Many are doing entrepreneurship, so it may not be right to say number of women in workforce has declined.
Great article..Hit the nail on the head
Dear Ms Singh,
I too am quite at a loss to understand your viewpoint discounting the #MeToo movement. Though I agree that some of the outages are very trivial bordering on ‘ relationship turned sour’ but most are outright harassment incidents – the degree may vary. I am a doctor by education an ’empowered’ woman by definition but still can’t come out for the simple reason that no one will believe, even people like you whom we look up to because the professional and public reputation that these harassers have carefully carved out for themselves and the positions of power they hold are stacked against their victims. According to you if someone doesn’t have extraordinary courage like you should be restrained from walking the streets, aspire to work.. Or may appointment letters should be typed out with ‘occupational hazards’. Most women or any victim by default is a victim because he/she is in a position weaker than their harasser. And professional competence has simply nothing to with one’s personal behaviour. So please do not judge other victims by your strength and sexual or workplace harassers by their professional standing. If people like you don’t understand and back this movement then certainly its a matter of concern for all of us. With due respect and regards
Sujata Sinha you have written very well. I don’t think anyone should belittle this movement. These women can make their digs and jibes at each other but the fact remains that there are so many many many women who are or were not as strong as Tavleen and others. Unless women speak up and continue to do so sexual harassment at the work place and elsewhere, even in homes will continue. Social media touches just a tiny fragment and it would be wonderful if women took this movement to remote villages, schools, government offices and every other place where human beings are. So sad for those women trapped in situations where they cannot speak about what happens to them. Where is empathy? Also #MeToo is not all about the rich and famous people only. The greater concern is for public in general. What are these very articulate women doing about it? Anyone can talk.
I agree with Tavleen, that accused should be allowed to defend himself, these women who have been repteadly stalked, could have walked away,after first abuse,
I would say, avoiding is best recourse
Though the need for speaking up about ALL such cases of harassment cannot be trivialized in any way, the current MeToo has become like a bandwagon for all those who are already in the limelight for some reason.
I agree with Tavleen on the point that the focus is currently on the victim-hood, rather than the empowerment.
I’d love to see a different MeToo – a MeToo with a difference, where instead of sob stories, we see a lot of stories about how women stood up for their own safety at their workplaces, and stood strong against such predators. I am sure there are hundreds such stories out there. The media will never bring those stories out because such stories do not help the TRP in any way.
I had an experience at an interview, where, at the end, the lone interviewer wanted to give me a ‘hug’ – because “after all, we are adults”! I said a polite “No, I am not comfortable with that” the first time. When he repeated the stupid argument about both of us being adults and capable of “handling” it, I gave a very firm “No”.
And in the short time that those two statements were made, prepared myself to “Hit and Run”. Fortunately, the man didn’t have the guts to pursue after the second No – though it was very clear that he would have liked to.
We, as women, want to get all the benefits of education and capability, but are not willing to take the responsibility of our own safety! We still want to be given a safe environment by others. When will we learn that NO ONE can guarantee safety – because danger can remain invisible till it finally strikes. If we are really equal, then the onus for our safety lies squarely with us. And this is something we have to teach our children at the time when we are teaching them about equality and ambition.
The so called”Metoo” movement in India will not only expose the malafide intentions of the so called vulnerable group of our society but will also help the falsely trapped men to come out neat & clean.This movement will die its own death, because,the charges being levied are unbelievable, with weak base.lets not forget the blunders having been committed by disgruntled females u/s 498a.The same is going to happen under”Metoo” movement.Just wait &watch
Tavleenji always your greatest fan. I am a modi fan but i respect every view in your columns both against and for his leadership because I believe whatever you say is more or less what I think. Today too in your reply to barkha you articulated beautifully your position. I am a 50 yrs old and my mother belonged to the generation which you referred to barkha. The generation which fought for its place and not complained. Metoo is a good movement but it is hijacked by the privileged class . When the real opposed women come out like casual labourers, househelp, retail shop salesgirls etc we can say the movement has arrived.
Very truly said!
I am of the same views.
These empowered women r Now raising an issue when they got all liberties then, 10 yrs back.
All relationships has a give & take tag.
What about the real issue with d lesser half, the common man, who don’t have d privilege in going to a lawyer to share their views in all this propogonda Mee Too… Where will they go.
It’s everywhere in all workplace & sadly also right in our house. Everyday women deal sexual harassment from their husbands, in laws, brothers, uncles, etc.
But it’s a Man’s world.
If u talk u r doomed.
So the common man just b quiet & leave it to destiny.
That’s all we can say.
All one can say to Ms Tavleen Singh is : When in a hole, stop digging.
This “Me Too” Business is ranged between all women Angels and all men Demons.What matters most is how the judiciary decides the defamation cases involving crores as damages.Its is going to be not only a strain on judiciary but a loss of precious judiciary Time.
Tavleen speaks for strong women, what about the more conservative and timid ones. Who is to protect them ? Bill Cosby was convicted after years of his misdeeds, so the courts give a damn for the years that have passed. The fight is against masculination of the work place where more parity is required not about tavleen’s bravery or courage
Tavleen should not have complained to the receptionist for the Hotel incident in Islamabad. How can she do that when she has committed an unpardonable sin of producing an illegitimate child by someone in Pak.
A sound reply, yo a noisy msg by bark-ah, standards apart, wonder what she did while selling ministerial berth in UPA TIME, time to make nera radia tapes public
Tavleen Singh has a point. All the target victims of Me Too Movement so far have been women who were fairly self sufficient in terms of education, job status and social skills. Rather than tolerate the sexual harrassment or misbehaviour or mental torture inflicted by the perpetrators, they could have easily chosen to stand firm, expose and shame the wrong doers.
In the past, young women in the start of their careers have done so; cases of Tehlaka founder Tejpal, a powerful and influenial person and R K Pachauri of TERI, again a Nobel Laureate have predated the Me Too Movement by some 3 to 4 years. Both the victims were very young, one a journalist and the other an intern.
दोनो टाइम पास कर रहे है।
Yes Ms.Tavleen Burka* might have not understood or deliberately ignored your statement that “When It begins to include women who are truly vulnerable, it will have my fullest support. As you rightly pointed out it is a flawed romance or relationship soured in most of these cases as they failed to state what action they took it or even they protest meekly if they protested in any form at the first incidence or approach itself, the so called predators might have cautious & stopped at-least with that women. If you have compromised say so, but do not try to paint yourself as innocent, vulnerable victims. Having said that, in one way this has come to open through Me too campaign, which the society & management has taken a serious note of it. Now it is knowledge economy lot of women are working along with men one should be careful & aware of dos & don’ts. Well said Madam.
* It is note spelling mistake guys, during 2G & other issues when she got caught she was openly weeping in a live show, a panel set up by NDTV, accepting her wrong judgement etc., & keep on repeating how she can cope up & face the camera & audience etc.. It was reported next day that one fellow was suggested to spell her name as Burka.
Barkha Dutt’s identification of the #MeToo critics is sweeping and unfair. While Tavleen Singh openly critiques the #MeToo critics as being empowered women, Seema Mustafa has generally supported the #MeToo women, including in her open criticism of MJ Akbar. In fact, many #MeToo supporters including men are careful to distinguish between women/men who are seeking to empower and protect women, as distinct from those who are resorting to inaccurate criticism.
I agree with Tavleen .Why didn’t Barkha and the TV anchors like Padma Joshi not object and do a show when the Bishop in Kerala was let off on bail ?why did they not stand with the nuns who were raped?Is it because they were not journalists? Or because the me too group were pointing fingers at more high profile people.?
I fully agree with Ms Tavleen…
M’am very said I totally endorse your view point Why did take 10 years for a person to speak up ,that too a very empowered person ? Trailblazers ??
Barkha dutt began the degeneration of NDTV with her exposure in RADIA Tapes and thoroughly discredited herself. She has no credibility to talk on anything.
I truly agree with Tavleen n completely dis-agree with Barkha.
Every women influential or non-influential may have gone through such situations be it office, media, Bollywood or any field for that matter, it is up to the women to raise out the voice there n not wake up after 10 yrs n more to get the courage of speaking up when the possibility of proving the guilty is zero. I strongly believe most women have raised these issues out of some motive. Women let themselves be used to climb the ladder of success n at their very convenience blame the same men of Rape charges, how can this be justified.
Why did Tanushree run away for 10 Yrs, she now knows she would not be recognised or given any offer so let’s take up something I left 10 yrs ago.
Vinta, all the women supporting the movement Did you guys realise one very important thing the victims as they call themselves didn’t raise a voice when required and let many more be the same victims over the years. Had they voiced it then such men if guilty would never be entertained or tolerated. Women committee has always stoop up in all situations, where were u victims to get their help. NOW u guys want sympathy,
Ms Tavleen, I love what you have written. I agree totally about the Metoo movement being non inclusive, especially of the lakhs of rural women who have to compromise with their dignity even within their families. Of course, this is the limitation of social media, that it reaches out only to the internet savvy younger generation.
I remember many incidents of harassment as a teenager- of the hairdresser , the rickshaw puller, the man in the DTC bus, the co passenger in the auto, the random cyclist on the street. On each occasion I raised hell and sometimes managed to beat them up in return! And each incident was a learning for me. As I grew up, in the work place, I never let any man treat me with condescending indulgence taking advantage of my feminine graces.
Some women need to learn how the real women of society fight their battles. In the real world, not the virtual.
//I do not believe an allegation against a man should be taken as an assumption of guilt. I believe that everyone – man and woman – should have the right to remain innocent till guilt is proven.// In false 498a cases, men and atheir families are being jailed without trial. YET NO WOMAN SPEAKS UP?
Yes, Tavleen singh, Yes. women are not weak and are not victims. they have to fight it out, rather than hiding behind curtains and crying.
And as rightly pointed out by you – the so called “empowered”/”privileged” from economically well-to-do families are making all the noises, whereas our problem lie somewhere else…uneducated/financially dependent womenfolks
Tavleen’s answer is fiery and measured at the same time. I agree with her about why this movement is flawed. The more entitled some people are, the more they whine.
Instead of giving it back as good as they get and protecting themselves while doing their jobs well ( it’s a tall order I admit) as millions of ordinary people men and women do in this country, all you get is moping and accusations.
I am not for one minute condoning what they have gone through, but have serious reservations on whether this is the right way to tackle such problems.
My simple reasons for disagreeing with Tavleen ..
1. As she says women have had to fight… Why have women had to fight in the first place ?
2. Have you or she ever been in a position where simply giving it back has reduced her / your problems or increased them?
3. As an educated assertive woman .. I was raped by my employer 22 years ago and have not been able to even bring it up because I CANNOT PROVE IT. so what is your advice for women like me? My alcohol drink (1st can of beer was spiked)
I am NOT a victim and I am NOT A glorious survivor .. I am a regular educated woman who comes from a middle class armed forces back ground.
I have faced Sexual advances from Airforce Officers in my teenage years, rape in my adult hood and attempted rape as a four year old. I have had many uncomfortable lap invites as a kid from family male members. How and when should i have spoken up?
The #MeToo movement, has given women a voice ..and this voice is only going to get louder as it climbs down the social and the perceived entitled ladder. Can you even consider if this is how well educated and well exposed women feel and experience, what is happening with women who are dependent on their men, who are uneducated , who are controlled by the panchayat elders down to what they wear?
I think all men and women need to sit back and do some serious introspection on the practice of equality and reality of abuse of power by men not only in the work place but in every aspect of our society.
my view is posted and carries a tone of respectful disagreement, it also carries extreme pain I feel when women like her are dismissive about women and their experiences.
I am surprised that someone STILL takes Barkha Dutt seriously.
Absolutely. Barkha Dutt is one of those agenda driven people masquerading as objective journalist, and perhaps like an activist now, who should rather not comment on any issue with a strong ethical dimension. This ‘award winning journalist’ lost her credibility long back.
Not that harrasmment is not a reality but when Dutt speaks, it takes the focus away from the real issue, and forces one to think how easy it is these days to identify a target, identify some like minded agenda driven individuals, form a close WhatsApp group to discuss the strategy to launch a vile propaganda against the target and then go all out on social media.
So am I. She poked Tavleen for the sake of it …..her arguements are purposeless beyond “compulsive feminism” which is what Tavleen essentially is….Tavleen is not against feminism, per se.
correction again (typo)……2nd line read…..which is what Tavleen is against……
why because her comments her views dont sit well with you ? or is it that her views offer a different perspective?
Yes. I agree with the views of Table en
Sorry for butting in. As a true Indian I have a habit of butting into everything, whether I know the subject or not. Needless to say, I do not know what Barkha Dutt has said what to whom. And as can only be expected from such a butting-inner, I’ll go off tangentially and start harping on a different tune altogether.
The essence of the problem is, that we do not realize that “compromise” and “capitulation” are two DIFFERENT words. The REAL SIN, which God would never forgive and for which the involved sinner would necessarily burn in the roaring fires of the hell is the one in which a woman is forced to “capitulate”. The other word, “compromise” goes on in this world all the time: in male-male, male-female, female-female, all kinds of situations. It suggests a “barter” system, if you know what I mean. There was an old Hindi song, I wonder if the following link will work:
It’s from a 1960 movie called “char dil char rahen”. The words are, “koi maane na maane …”
The women who capitulated and kept quiet are the ones who suffered the REAL HUMILIATION, and to whom this entire tide of sympathy and humanly affection should turn to. In the name of goodness every male should apologize to them. They were perhaps poor, from conservative homes, in small towns, etc. Let us hope that they and their types of voiceless women will benefit from this hugely negative atmosphere that is being created by their more confident, more capable sisters through this “me too” campaign. One predator recently said that “they continued to work with me” AND HENCE their cry of injustice was sham. Shame to him. It only means that they “compromised” with the situation and didn’t allow one obnoxious man to deter them from their chosen way of life.
Now I will quote from the present article:
“I object to #MeToo because I see, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations, says Tavleen Singh.”
In my humble opinion, as I have tried to say above, the MeToo campaign in its present edition WILL HELP ALL women.
Bravo Sanjeev Bhatia. Just Bravo.
Dear Anu, thanks for the compliment. But I hope it’s really for ME, because you have misspelled both the parts of my name, haha. Just kidding. Thanks for your encouraging words.
Well said . Beautifully expressed . This movement will help . Madam Tavleen take a break
Well said… I second your thoughts..
For sure…. It will be helping women and checking men…..Sanjeev Bhatia totally agree.
Sanjiv, You have given the right perspective. Tavern Singh answering from her high perch is not able to understand the pain of the victims. We can only pity Tavleen.
Yes. Absolutely. These silent women – many of whom are not even aware of the #MeToo movement – dont know what it takes to get out there and seek justice or at least an apology. The Indian society has always suppressed women and so the norm is to pull down the ones who have the privilege of a good education and awareness built into their upbringing.
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