I object to #MeToo because I see, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations, says Tavleen Singh.
Here, dear Barkha, is my answer to the many, many whys in your video letter.
Why do I not think #MeToo is an appropriate movement? I do not believe an allegation against a man should be taken as an assumption of guilt. I believe that everyone – man and woman – should have the right to remain innocent till guilt is proven.
My second objection is to the victimhood that the movement implies. My generation of women fought for our place in the workplace – as your mother did a little before us – not by being victims but by being fighters. Rights are not usually given to victims but those who fight for them.
Also read: Barkha Dutt’s open letter to #MeToo critics Tavleen Singh, Seema Mustafa & Manjeet Kripalani
Your charge that we have ‘rationalised rape’ is quite simply, absurd. None of the women in the media who have charged editors and writers with ‘sexual harassment’ have said they were raped. Some of the sexual harassment could have been dealt with by simply speaking up in one voice at the time it occurred. M.J. Akbar was himself an employee and if so many women were being molested by him on a daily basis, they could have come together and complained against him to the owner of the newspaper. It is a mystery that they did not if he was so awful a ‘sexual predator’.
Also read: MJ Akbar: The brilliant editor who’s now seen as India’s most high-profile sexual predator
You say there are fewer women in the Indian workplace now than before. This is primarily because of mechanisation in agriculture not because they were kicked out of newsrooms for not succumbing to the unwanted attention of editors.
You object to my calling Akbar ‘flawed’ and say that flawed applies in a consensual relationship. Actually, in my book, that is romance. It can sometimes be a flawed affair but that is not always the fault of the man.
Also read: Hang in there women, MJ Akbar is a victory, but the #MeToo fight is just starting
I have worked since I was 19 because I needed a job – specially after I became a single mother. So I know the importance of the economic need for women to work.
I also object to #MeToo because I see that, so far, it is only the most empowered Indian women who are making allegations. When it begins to include women who are truly vulnerable, it will have my fullest support.
Also read: Unnao teen has no clue of #MeToo, just wants her ‘rapist’ BJP MLA sacked
To charge us with misogyny is absurd.
In the case of the girl who, I said, had gone alone to Suhel Seth’s house more than once, my question is: if he hit on her, why did she go more than once? And, why did she not just give him a kick in the right place instead of waiting 10 years to complain?
I say women who go into a hotel room, and a man opens the door in his underwear or in a bathrobe, should either run for their lives or be prepared to fight back unwanted advances. I was once stalked to my hotel room in the Islamabad Hotel in Pakistan’s capital by a man with an Uzi. I was scared out of my wits but not that scared that I could not call reception and make a huge stink.
Fundamentally, the difference between my generation of women and those who are in the #MeToo movement is that we were not victims. We were not ‘trailblazers’ as you say, but just not victims. I would have said all these things to you in the tweets we have exchanged in the past week, but tweets limit articulation.
Love always,
Tavleen
The author is a senior journalist and columnist.
Barkh thieves also conduct between themselves with some dignity. The so called MeToo victims are highly undignified when after eons they publically and shamelessly shout from the rooftop about their victimhood and name the so called culprit. By bringing an ugly event to the streets these women have made the things uglier to such an exten that even significant numbef of other women like Tavleen are questioning the definion of the victimhood employed by these MeToo ladies.
Mam, respectfully disagree. Rights need be given to only victims who fight for them. A just society has to have basic rights available to them. And not being harassed is basic. Though metoo ain’t perfect but free speech and democracy are flawed too. We don’t dump them do we. Metoo is empowering but should be used carefully. I personally feel MJ akhbar, Alok nath, Vikas and Sajid have abused their victims. Thank you.
Ms Tavleen Singh ji, please don’t take offense. If you do than plant it it will grow. You are doing the worst form of so called jourlism. Your age time duration do not even deliberately comprehend the pain the girls r going thru. You r intentionally covering the incidents of sexual predatory misconduct of your celebrity friends. Hope its not paid advocacy. Have shame. Use constraints. Psychologically You r the man pretending to be a woman. You r epitome of elite circle of so called journos, like khus want Singh, who change their views as per personal gains.. Ref.Emergency imposed by than PM. We’re you sent to jail. No. Why? You never protested? Lutens दिल्ली… लुट गयी दिल्ली… Now you r out of favour. Establishment is not lucking feudal journos. If you so against Me Too.. Speak to Menka Gandhi… Start an agitation to save your friends, the accused predators… You people think that Indian public r fools. They don’t understand your intent… It’s over. Retire..
Love you Tavleen for this nice reply to hypocrite Barkha.
Dear Madam ,
Do u mean to say , it is wrong to raise voice . R u sure u r not going overboard in defence of some one ? Or it is bloated ego .
What is wrong in coming out in the open ? You appear hassled . Why can’t u accept differing point of view .
Metoo is b******* coz those who are complaining have gained what they wanted from the victims (men) and as they are now mostly well settled they r pointing fingers.
Lets see the foremost thing, the izzat, that was crushed by these so called animals. If u care about izzat, u wont allow anyone to touch u at first instance, let alone going to him repeated times and it doesnt matter if u r successful or not.
So all these cases r more of a Barter System, where u give something in favour of recieving something back. Now to seek attention someone or another is writing posts daily.
First let them clarify what they mean by izzat then come and blame someone.
Thank You, Tavleen,
Most of the Journalist in India Act like Paparazzi.
People who reacts to Media Trail should be accountable. Men and Boys should have some safety net.
I feel just People letting go from their respective job without proper investigation, just by calling out the name in social media is not fair. Hopefully, people will support the innocent bystander.
Many men have been falsely accused and jailed too.
Personal who has lost Jobs in USA has been investigated and proven guilty.
If not guilty, ” the best example,” the newly appointed USA Supreme Court Judge”.Brett Kavanaugh. Even though, he was accuse of sexual harassment, there was no evidence to prove his guilt.
#Me too is great platform, but should use appropriately to Educate the True meaning…..
Even at the time of the famous Rupan Deol case Tavleen singh had made ridiculous comments. she said that hundreds of women are molested each day while going to their workplace, they don’t complain. then why is she complaining against KPS Gill?
Women like Tavleen Singh are women’s worst enemies