New Delhi: Miss Miss, Blue Molvisaab, Shazia’s dottuh, Foreign Returned F*%kboi – if you have no idea who these people are, why not?
The Swinery (@swineryy), an anonymous Karachi-based account, is taking Instagram by storm. Featuring Animojis of a confused baby koala, a blue Muslim cleric, a cranky alien, a neighbourhood gossip and more, the account provides absurd, ridiculous and deeply relatable takes on life in Pakistan and what’s going on in the world. And Indians are obsessed with it.
But who is the person behind the viral sensation, why does she do what she does and what’s so great about her?
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A pig, a maulvi and an alien walk into a bar
It all started in April 2018, when The Swinery, who worked a 9-5 job and did stand-up comedy alongside, had created a few characters at work. “I was fooling around on a friend’s phone once when I made the first Animoji (of a pig demanding to know why he is haraam). It was never a conscious decision and to continue still isn’t! I didn’t even plan on uploading it initially,” she says.
This was followed by a few food and product reviews (in her review of the Bic Body razor that “makes your body clean and pure”, she squawks, incredulously, “Is this a hymen machine?”) and some posts featuring a panda, a lion, cranky skeleton, a bear who makes fun of people’s obsession with ASMR, a chicken and a rabbit who is sick of eating carrots and wants nihari instead.
These aren’t her most popular bits and she hasn’t done them in a while, but she is clear that she hasn’t ditched them. “I haven’t kept a schedule and haven’t made myself record a video when I didn’t feel like it. It all came naturally and I wanted to have that for as long as I can have it. I’m sure I’ll wake up one day wanting to do the chicken or lion or dog, or a product review.”
That’s the beauty of this account – there are no rules and she does not treat it like work. Her videos are never properly scripted – while she does have a general idea of the character in her head, she literally just starts talking. Even when there’s some background noise (her dog barking, the azaan, her friends laughing) she ad libs and often makes it a part of her video.
“Sometimes my tone or voice will change slightly, but that’s true for all people in real life – so it doesn’t bother me and I don’t re-film it. It’s more realistic in my opinion,” she explains.
There are characters who have become staples now, though. There’s Blue Molvisaab, the hardliner cleric who perpetually bursts into nasal song, despite his avowed disapproval of music, and who makes endless excuses for his inclinations to swill a bit of alcohol every now and then.
There’s the potty-mouthed alien who was hoping Chandrayaan’s lander would arrive with food and water for him.
There’s the foreign-returned desi boy who can’t stop comparing the wonders of “abroad” to his polluted home city, although he admits the qawwali is “tight, bro”.
An instant hit has been the sweet baby koala who just doesn’t see, despite all the clues, that his teacher, his beloved “Miss Miss” is having a roaring affair with his father.
And, of course, there is Lina Aunty, a nosy, hypocritical gossip who delights in telling us disapprovingly about the exploits of her friend Shazia’s dottuh (daughter), the young “very tez” girl who walks around town with her bra strap showing and hangs out with boys.
Her characters, though rooted in a particular cultural milieu, are, in many ways, universal. And they’re not inspired by any specific people.
For those who’ve read the writing of another hilarious Pakistani, Moni Mohsin, Lina Aunty sounds like she could be straight out of The Diary of A Social Butterfly, but The Swinery has her own take.
“People are not black or white in real life and so they aren’t in my work either. We all hate Lina Aunty, but there could be many endearing and admirable things about her too. I’ve just observed people for a very long time, not even consciously, and all that information just comes out this way. Moni Mohsin is cool, though, and tweeted about me, which felt great.”
From protest marches in Pakistan to dinner tables in India
A few months ago, at the Aurat protests for women’s rights and gender equality that took place across Pakistan, several women were seen holding banners and placards that said “I am Shazia’s daughter.” And this weekend, at the country’s #ClimateStrike demonstrations, many young people held posters featuring the alien asking if humans would all now be moving there.
That kind of influence, says The Swinery, “felt surreal, but it also didn’t sink in. Did I really do that? I feel like none of your achievements actually sink in if you have a bit of the imposter syndrome. But it was pretty cool. I’m lucky to have created something people can relate to or be entertained by, which can help spread an insightful or important message at the same time.”
In just over a year, The Swinery has amassed 146k followers on Instagram, the kind of fame she never thought about when she began doing this. “I was amazed at 5k and never really thought it would go beyond that. A lot of my interest lies in the content and the laughs, not necessarily in numbers. That being said, that is a LOT of people who like the page and it is definitely a source of motivation and strength and happiness for me.”
Another thing that makes her happy is the amount of love she gets from India – about 20 per cent of her audience is from here “and I love that. I do get a lot of messages by followers across the border and it’s always hilarious or heartwarming. They show me a lot of love”.
She’s never visited India, but would love to one day. “I have some comedian friends in India too, now! I love Srishti’s work (that Buzzfeed India’s Bigg Boss episode is so good), and I used to watch a lot of AIB, too. Also, really random and this isn’t about comedy, but while I’m not always updated on all the new Bollywood movies or tea, I love Koffee with Karan. Why is it so entertaining!” she laughs.
On a more serious note, she reflects, “I am sure we are more similar than we are different. Differences can be beautiful and aren’t always a reason to create a greater divide.”
She also says that one reason why she doesn’t specify where her characters are from is “because I know they exist all over the world, especially in India!”
It’s a sentiment echoed by her fans here. Delhi-based lawyer Satyajit loves The Swinery because it shows him that “Pakistan, too, is a society full of the pompous, the unnecessarily righteous, the unreflective and daft, the straight-up asinine. Honestly I think they’re funnier than we are right now – we’re a particularly humourless nation these days. I love the absurdism of this account – the baby koala, the owl and, of course, the foul-mouthed alien, perpetually kvetching”.
And everyone has their favourites. For Simar Puneet in Delhi, it’s often the irreverent alien, but the non-resident Pakistani boy is a close second.
“It blows my tiny mind to imagine all those voices coming out of one person – what a fierce talent!” rhapsodises Satyajit. “My favourite is the baby koala. Fate has been unkind to him. All these wheels within wheels, and he sits there, uncomprehending, like Candide, a sweet fool.”
But it’s not just about the versatility of her characters. She often times her posts to things that are happening around her – whether it’s the Aurat marches (to which Blue Molvisaab responds, of course, by wondering why he’s never seen a Mard march) or Coke Studio’s newest episode.
She also, once in a whim, creates a crossover. So Blue Molvisaab will suddenly give Shazia’s dottuh a lecture about how she should not show her b-r-a strap in public, and just a few days ago, fans were in for a shock when they found out the identity of the baby koala’s beloved Miss Miss. This plot twist became the subject of furious WhatsApp chats and bar conversations across the border as well, not unlike any popular Netflix or TV show.
“It wasn’t planned,” The Swinery explains, “but in my head, these characters, while not all related, have always been part of the same universe, so crossovers were always possible.”
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The importance of being anonymous
Freedom of expression, freedom of speech and privacy – these are what the Instagram sensation risks losing if she reveals her identity. She also believes that her anonymity is what keeps her from being overwhelmed by the numbers game.
And frankly, her fans are as protective of her identity. She has received DMs from people saying someone told them who she is but they won’t tell anyone, and warning her to be careful about who she confides in.
While everyone tries to guess at various aspects of her identity, most are happy to just let her be. Simar, for example, only wants to thank her for the laughs, adding, “I hope you’ve been able to monetise the time and mind that goes into your posts and keep doing this as long as you enjoy it!”
Satyajit says, “I love her, that’s all that matters to me. If I am ever lucky enough to communicate with her, I want her to know that she is an international treasure, deserving of UNESCO status, and that she should never stop.”
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Good to come across a creative mind, uncluttered, and not influenced in the least by all the anti India and anti Pakistan cacophony around her. Atta Girl.