How cruel is the world that it doesn’t let men be princesses? They want their girlfriends to plan the dates, bring them flowers and gifts, drive them around—but nobody listens. Instead, men are expected to do hard things all the time, like texting.
These days, men are also overworked, commenting “NOT ALL MEN” under every reel about rape culture. And now the average man with no interpersonal skills or game to impress a girl is also expected to cut off his problematic ‘bhai log’—the very bros they want to play with, hang out with, and laugh at fun little misogynist jokes with. And for what? To make the world a little better, to make the landscape safer for love? That’s just a whole lot of effort, and we all know men hate doing things. Finding a date in this apparently “man-hating” environment who will treat them like a baby girl must seem impossible. Honestly, my heart is bleeding.
If a poor man asks his female date to travel to him, dealing with minor inconveniences like a threat to her life, even the “feminist types” will mock him: “Why don’t you wear bangles and put on some lipstick?” Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. How cruel. How dare we mock men in the same patriarchal language that they have always found comfort in? Calling a man a woman of some kind is just a stab at his self-esteem, which was built on one strong foundation—“I am not a woman, okay?”
This is also pushing men to learn big words like “toxic gender binary” and then write, with their own dainty hands, long paragraphs along the lines of: “Men also deserve to be pampered, you know?” Considering how much men hate texting, this is just too much.
The new male crisis
It’s getting harder and harder for the straight male Cinderellas to expect the respect and servitude their forefathers enjoyed. Now men can’t even feel all big and strong about earning money—everyone has started doing that. On top of that, there is such intense pressure on them to be a man. Every other reel on Instagram roasts them as snowflakes compared with the medieval heroes who fought wars and ruled kingdoms.
Nobody understands their emotional bandwidth, which is so fragile that any call for accountability threatens to destroy it. No wonder they reach for the crutch of whataboutery. If a girl complains, “You didn’t call. You didn’t even ask if I reached home safe,” the modern man’s retort is, “Well, you didn’t ask me either!” That’s how men are getting by now: by making sure nobody can ever be more inconsiderate than they are.
They simply cannot bear the guilt of having been insensitive or irresponsible. When a girl stands in front of them in the metro, looking dejected and tired, expecting them to give up their seat, men with “strong boundaries” just look away. Why should a man have to stand up in a metro and let all those strangers brush past him, violating his personal space?
Apparently, women have cried for equality long enough. Now men are determined to show them exactly what “equality” looks like. It’s just backfiring because women don’t want to stick around these men. The XX chromosome does not have the heart and muscle for it. And that’s another cruelty against men, they say.
Also read: If you can’t eat rice with your hands in front of him, he’s not the one
Men want softness too
Gen Z crop of men seem to be getting in touch with their “feminine side” and say things like “where is my right to softness?” It is just bad timing to ask for these niche rights at a time when women have taken to the streets asking for safer roads, a right to walk alone at night, to exist in the world alongside the “soft feminine” men. Scorned meninists would go so far as to say that the women’s movement is overshadowing male desires, but that’s impossible, right?
Even as an alleged man-hater, I don’t have that confidence. When has any women’s movement overshadowed anything? Not even their own violation happening on the sidelines. But yes, I do agree that it would be very difficult for men to earn princess treatment in relationships because first they’d have to prove themselves safe enough to even get women to go out with them. That’s just their boulder to push.
Not to brag, but I am not as tormented as these men. I don’t expect princess treatment because being born as a woman makes it harder to be even treated as a human being. In fact, I am working for the cause of men by trying my best to give them princess treatment while acting as a peasant—often getting ecstatic at the sight of breadcrumbs these princesses give me.
If a man gets mad about not getting his “right to softness” and wants to learn something from me, it is this. Train yourself to live with less, which in the case of men is still a lot. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t pamper you like a little girl, you still have a lot to be grateful for. More than what society allows your girlfriend and me to wish for. And if you can’t convince yourself to live with your “less”, if nobody honours your “softness” ever, do one thing—cry. As loud as you can. Cry me a river.
(Edited by Saptak Datta)