New Delhi: Asavari Jagdale was nine years old when she first saw plumes of smoke rising from Mumbai’s Taj Mahal hotel on her TV screen while sitting in her living room in Pune, Maharashtra. She vividly remembers every single detail: how the entire 26/11 terrorist attack in Mumbai unfolded, how the victims were left gasping for breath, how police officers kept giving news bytes. She sat down with her father, Santosh Jagdale, 50, who explained to her what or who a terrorist was.
Asavari had no way of knowing she would come face to face with terrorists fifteen years later, and that she would be helpless when it happened.
She had never imagined either that the next time she spoke of armed gunmen, it would be while explaining how her father was shot dead as Asavari and her mother stood still in Kashmir’s Pahalgam. This was their first trip, with their uncle, and his father’s best friend, Kaustubh Ganvotay, 57, who was shot dead too.
“What happened on 26/11 was discussed in school, offices, and at home. The horror was shared by everybody, even though we did not know anybody who died. I did not know I would have to see my father and uncle be shot in the head, right in front of us. We were there to create memories, we did not know we would have lifelong trauma,” said Asavari.
It’s been a year since the April 22 massacre in the Baisaran Valley. The seasons have come and gone like always in the meadows of Pahalgam, but for the families of the 26 victims, the trauma is as real as it was then. They return to the attack every time the police or the government makes a statement, reels are pushed on social media, or when Operation Sindoor finds a mention in any political rally. Jagdale’s family is navigating their life, and slowly returning to an ‘artificial normalcy’. The daughter hopes to start a new government job while her mother wants to never leave home.
On 22 April 2025, terrorists killed 25 Indians—24 tourists and a Kashmiri local—and one Nepalese tourist at the Baisaran meadows in Pahalgam before fleeing. Eyewitness accounts indicate victims were singled out on the basis of religion, and shot at close range in front of their families. At the time of the attack, Prime Minister Modi was in Saudi Arabia on an official visit and United States Vice-President J.D. Vance was visiting India.
Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT) offshoot The Resistance Front (TRF) claimed responsibility for the attack. The Cabinet Committee of Security (CCS) chaired by PM Modi met the day after the attack and highlighted a potential link to Pakistan, saying “cross-border linkages of the terrorist attack were brought out” in a briefing.
Asavari, a young woman by then, was on a family vacation meant to create memories before beginning a new chapter in her career.
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A Kashmir trip turned deadly
Santosh, who worked as an interior decorator and insurance agent while running a small business, and Kaustubh, a snack store owner, had been close friends since childhood. The duo discussed and planned their Kashmir trip a month in advance.
The family packed their bags, and all the snacks they could, and went to Kashmir. Sun-drenched Pahalgam was even better than they had thought; Santosh and Kaustuba sat down in the meadow just to take it all in; others took photographs. Suddenly, all hell broke loose.
“Armed gunmen entered from all sides. People ran in all directions. Some fell down, got up, and held their family members close to them. Men, women, kids, everybody was crying. We couldn’t make sense of anything,” Asavari said, trying to piece together the sequence of events that led to the massacre.
She said one of the terrorists was barely a few feet away. “My mother screamed at him, ‘Kyon kar rahe ho (Why are you doing this?)?’ To which, he pointed at my father, and said, ‘How can you enjoy the vacation? They have ruined our religion… They have put Modi on a pedestal…”
“The man was in his 20s,” said Asavari, remembering with a shudder how the terrorists looked into their eyes. “They asked my father if he was Hindu or Muslim. They forced him to recite the Kalma. Within seconds, they shot my father dead. The man I have always looked up to. The man who played the most important role in my life… was dead… and I could not do anything…”
Santosh was hit in the head, another bullet went through one ear, and a third was found lodged in his chest, said Asavari. Her uncle, Kaustubh Ganbote, was shot in the back of the head, with the bullet exiting through the eye socket.
After the attack, the women gathered courage and managed to escape with. While coming down, Asavari’s mother suffered leg injuries. A pony rider offered them support and hope. “He gave a ride to our driver,” she said.
She said that the people who had taken them to the spot on ponies helped them to return. Later, they underwent a medical examination to check for injuries and were then moved to the Pahalgam Club.
Living with trauma
Asavari says she had to be brave during the most traumatic experience of her life. She had to meet politicians, police personnel, TV reporters, and she had to tell everyone what had happened. “I have had to relive the trauma every single day,” she said.
The bodies of Santosh and Kaustubh were flown back to Pune. Their last rites were held at Vaikunth Electric Crematorium in Navi Peth, where many people gathered to pay their respects.
Asavari led her father’s funeral procession in Pune; he wore the same blood-stained red kurta from the day of the attack for his final journey.
“Whenever I close my eyes, I see a man holding a rifle. I haven’t been able to sleep,” her mother says, Most nights, the duo stay up late, tearing up, looking at photographs. They have had to seek mental health treatment to come to terms with the trauma. Going out is still a no-no. “My body shivers, I can feel the chill, every time I remember what happened, how it happened… ,” said Asavari.
Hope springs eternal though. Asavari has managed to secure a government job in Pune Municipal Corporation, and will soon begin a new chapter in her life, one that will help her forget Pahalgam and all that happened there one sunny morning.
(Edited by Nardeep Singh Dahiya)