New Delhi: Tending to cows, churning butter, and carrying headloads of compost to the fields — this is not a glimpse into a farmer’s daily struggles, but a leaf from the life of author Madhu Tandan, who lived at a monastery three decades ago and has just released her second book on the subject.
When she was in her 20s, Tandan took the unconventional decision of abandoning her comfortable Delhi life to stay at a Himalayan monastery with her husband, Rajeev. The couple embraced the simple life there for seven years. Upon returning, Tandan published a book about the experience, Faith and Fire: A Way Within, in 1997.
Twenty-seven years and a few other books later, Tandan has reprised her ashram memoirs in A Way Within: Seven Years in a Himalayan Ashram, published by Speaking Tiger. She calls it the “revised version” of her first book with new additions.
The ashram forbade writing in diaries or journals, so the book is woven from Tandan’s memories. “I revised the book to recapture those years in the ashram. It’s a kind of life audit after several years of living outside. Many details in the book are the snapshots of memory that keep coming back,” Tandan said during her book launch event at India International Centre (IIC).
About 30 thirty family members, friends, and acquaintances of Tandan, including her husband Rajeev, were present in the audience— all of them familiar with her journey. The launch started with an eloquent introduction by the poet and author Arundhathi Subramaniam, who described the book as “unvarnished, quiet, and measured”.
Tandan followed with her reflections and reminisces, reserving high praise for her guru, but remaining conspicuously silent about her current life.
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A Scottish guru, work as worship
In her book, Tandan details her struggles to find her place in the world. Her parents were separated, and as a teenager she would visit her father every year for two months in Calcutta, where he lived with his second wife and their daughters. There, she didn’t feel like she belonged, fuelling her desire to discover where she did.
Tandon’s quest for spiritual answers eventually led her to an ashram in Mirtola, near Almora in Uttarakhand. The guru there had an unconventional past: he was a Scottish engineer named Alexander Phipps once upon a time. By the time Tandan met him, however, he was Sri Madhava Ashish, or simply “Ashishda” to her.
When Tandan landed at the ashram, he had a surprise for her—a daily schedule filled ordinary activities such as cooking, cleaning, and gardening. But one question kept gnawing at her: why this hard work? Wasn’t a monastic life all about closing your eyes in meditation?
“If I wanted to eat bread. I had to bake it. If I wanted butter on it, I had to churn it. And if I wanted to top it with jam, I had to make it,” recalled Tandan with a smile, adding that her guru had a plan.
“Through this physical work, Ashish Da wanted to connect the outer with the inner. He introduced us to watching the mind. It was such a hands-on spirituality where the body, mind and emotions were all harnessed to serve a single purpose to find yourself.”
Ashishda also introduced Tandan to dream interpretation. She has since written two books on the subject and occasionally leads workshops to share her knowledge.
But Tandan was no ordinary acolyte, always bowing to her guru. She would often challenge his assumptions. “He did not hide behind the ochre of his guru mantle and owned up to his responsibility,” she said. “He said that ‘if mistakes have been made, I will pay for them’.”
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Companions and cows
As the floor opened for questions and answers, audience members asked Tandon about her life at the ashram and what she had learned along the way. But one question stole the spotlight: what about Rajeev, her husband, who had embarked on this “spiritual journey” with her?
Some women in the audience seemed to be in awe of Rajeev. The idea of a man encouraging such a decision and then joining his partner drew many gasps of admiration.
“You are truly blessed to have such a partner,” said one middle-aged woman.
Another woman quickly intervened to add: “Only a few are fortunate enough to have a life partner as their spiritual companion.”
Tandan did not hold back in her praise of Rajiv either. “To have a husband who was your ally, your fellow traveller, and spiritual companion is the wonderful part of this journey,” she said.
And then, Tandan again turned to her guru’s words: “Ashishda said, if you cannot make a relationship, how can you look for anything beyond that?”
The dreamy world of how men like Rajeev still exist was ruptured by a young woman who had a rather important question to ask: How long did it take to learn how to milk a cow?
Her question was met with laughs, but Tandan answered it thoughtfully.
“It took many kicks from the cow. And I was smeared with cow dung from ineffectual milking. But when I began to learn finally the cow gave me respect for having learnt it. And she stopped kicking me.”
(Edited by Asavari Singh)