At some point this year, I stopped doing things because I enjoyed them. I started doing them for specific reasons—they “looked good”. It was for a competition. Another for an online course. A leadership role in the school or a certificate in a subject I didn’t know much about or a project I didn’t care much about doing.
None of it was done because of any love for these things, but rather for the future college applications I’d have to prepare for.
Nobody ever told me to do this. But somehow, I knew.
As society continues to build the “perfect profile”, it’s hard to look at any student space online these days and not see the same posts out of inspiration and even intimidation to join in on the projects and then, eventually, to make it a checklist to see what exactly is required of students today.
I started to feel like I was building a résumé instead of living my life.
I remember signing up for things I didn’t have the least bit of interest in, just to “have it” in my profile. To put it in writing that I did participate in this activity. It’s good exposure.
Nobody tells you this, but every time you try and do everything in preparation for the future, it doesn’t feel as real as it should.
You start to focus on looking good instead of how you feel about the activity you’re putting in your profile. You value recognition over understanding the value of the activity. You worry more about the outcome of the activity than the experience itself. You start to drift further away from the things you truly care about.
This feeling started so subtly. There were no rules or expectations from anyone around me to show that I can do these activities. It just so happened that I compared myself to others doing these activities and felt compelled to do the same.
It’s not about being good at these activities. It’s about being impressive at them.
When you do everything with a future application in mind, you no longer feel like you’re living in the present and enjoying your life but preparing for the future—however beautiful it may be today.
Instead of asking, “will this look good?”, maybe we should be asking, “Would I still do this if no one ever saw it?”
Because the things that really matter are those that shape how you think, what you care about, and who you become, and are usually not “optimised”. They’re personal, messy, and invisible.
There’s nothing wrong with ambition. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to succeed, but if every decision you make is driven by how it will appear to others, you risk losing something more important than opportunity—you lose a sense of who you actually are.
Because the goal never was to be impressive. It was to be real.
Aarav Lodha is a student of K. International School Tokyo. Views are personal.
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