Sex toys are products that have been created specifically to provide sexual pleasure! From simple, non-motorized objects, to ones that integrate highly sophisticated technology and design, there are all sorts of sex toys out there for different body parts and different types of stimulation. The universe of sex toys sure is an exciting one!
Types of Sex Toys
Bullet vibrators, magic-wand vibrators and clitoral suction toys or clitoral stimulators are intended for external clitoral stimulation. Dildos and G-spot vibrators are designed for internal vaginal stimulation.
There are also dual-action toys like the iconic ‘rabbit’ style vibrator that Sex and the City made famous. These can provide both external and internal stimulation simultaneously. They typically have a shorter part that provides the clitoral stimulation, and another longer part that is insertable. New variants even have a clitoral suction arm instead of the little vibrating arm, for clitoral stimulation.
And while many people think sex toys are only for people with vulvas, there are also dozens of toys for people with penises—masturbation sleeves of all kinds—motorized, and non-motorized, as well as an array of prostate massagers.
Then there are things like butt plugs and nipple clamps, which can be used by anyone, as well as toys for couples—like cock rings that can be worn by a penis-owner to provide clitoral stimulation to their partner during intercourse; or Bluetooth enabled toys that allow for partners to participate in each other’s pleasure using a mobile app—which can be especially fun for virtual intimacy if you’re in a long-distance relationship.
While most sex toys are made of silicone, high-quality glass and steel toys are also a whole universe of their own worth exploring because they can last forever, are very easy to keep clean and also allow for interesting new sensations like temperature play. You can easily warm or cool glass or steel toys by washing them in warm or cold water first. (Btw, in case glass sounds scary, it’s good to know that glass toys are made of a special toughened glass that is extremely hard to break and is non-porous.)
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How to Choose a Sex Toy
As a ‘first’ toy, a basic vibrating massager is usually a great bet if you have a vulva—vibrations provide extremely pleasurable clitoral stimulation, and if it has a powerful motor, you don’t even have to take your clothes off!
Many people with penises start off with a simple masturbation sleeve as their first toy—they are fun and easy to use—all you need is some lube!
Both these types of toys are also typically affordable and non-intimidating, yet they’re highly effective. That said, do your own research based on your own preferences. Read reviews about the toys that sound exciting to you. If something else sounds like it’s more likely to work well for you, go for it! And you can get yourself a whole bunch of different toys over time—many people enjoy using different ones for different types of stimulation. It can be a real pleasure to slowly build your own little collection!
Make sure whatever you get yourself is made of a bodysafe material, especially if it’s an insertable toy—medical grade silicone is much better than most plastics for example, as they’re non-porous and therefore more hygienic.
As I mentioned, it’s definitely a good idea to also get yourself lube, as most toys feel much more comfortable and fun when you apply lube when using them.
Keeping your toys clean is important. So, choose toys that are waterproof, so you can easily wash them before and after use. Bonus—you can use them in the shower!
Rechargeable toys tend to be more convenient than battery operated ones that require you to keep buying and replacing batteries—and they are often of higher quality.
Feel free to use toys together—each toy doesn’t have to just be used on its own! You could have a clitoral vibrator and a beautiful glass or steel dildo, for example—they can make a fantastic combination!
If you’re sharing toys with multiple partners—make sure to be extra proactive about thoroughly washing your toys before and after use and be sure to use condoms on insertable toys— safety first!
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I recently got myself a vibrator, and my partner seems very threatened by it. Can you use sex toys even with your partner, or are they only for masturbation? – GAYATRI
Sex toys can be wonderful tools, not only for solo pleasure— they can also greatly enhance the experience of partnered sex.
They can function as a collaborator rather than some sort of competition to either of you. A lot of straight men seem to view their partner using their vibrator as some sort of threat—but in fact, vibrators can actually ease a lot of the pressure around ‘performance’ that men often feel.
Vibrators are uniquely effective at providing clitoral stimulation in particular. They’re able to provide a speed and consistency that is hard for a human being to replicate, but that is uniquely effective at delivering orgasms. I think of it this way—there is a technology that exists that stands to make sex more pleasurable—why not embrace it!
Just as an accountant isn’t threatened by a calculator but rather uses one to work more efficiently, so, also, sex toys can be terrific pleasure aides without detracting from a partnered experience. I’m a big fan of adding toys to the mix in bed!
Excerpted with permission from The Sex Book by Leeza Mangaldas, HarperCollins, Rs. 399