Indian Instagram has a burning question. Why are Hollywood celebrities, who get much attention and adoration from fans in India, quiet on the issues plaguing us?
“Sabrina Carpenter makes no comment on the rising price of plywood in Nagpur, despite being a carpenter herself,” said the ‘headline’ on the meme page @dw_stan_4ever.
The comment section echoed the concern. “Mainstream media won’t show you this,” wrote a concerned citizen.
“Both Sabrina and Jesus are quiet on this matter,” another noted.
The theological implications of the son of god ghosting Maharashtra’s timber market have yet to be fully explored, but the internet is working on it.
The Viral Spiral on Indian Instagram this week is a hilarious cross between The Onion and Vogue that connects global icons to hyperlocal Indian crises.
“Vin Diesel makes no comment on the rising price of diesel in Punjab despite being the owner of diesel,” a post said.
The comment section needed only one word: “anti-national”.
“Kaum da gaddar. Agency da banda. RSS di saazish (Betrayer of the community. Man of the agencies. A conspiracy of the RSS),” a commenter wrote in lucid Punjabi, the perfect way to communicate the grave grievance to Mr Diesel.
It’s a delight to see image memes have a last hurrah on an app that now runs on reels. Who knows, by 2027, this last vestige of static visuals will also be lost to the machinery of high-stimulation video shorts.
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Take notes, Taylor
“Sadie Sink maintains silence on Anant Singh being expelled from JDU for 6 years for anti-party activities,” a post read.
This one has the rare advantage of a real news hook: the JD(U) did expel Mokama MLA Anant Singh and his wife for six years over alleged anti-party activities. The Singh-Sink pun does the rest.
The newsy headline came with a caption that leaned all the way in.
“Stranger Things actress Sadie Sink has found herself at the centre of an unexpected crossover involving Bihar politics,” it read. “Meanwhile, her supposed silence on the matter has added an unusual twist to the controversy, bringing together two completely unrelated worlds.”
The comments, without missing a beat, jumped to her defence.
“Fake News!” a commenter wrote, and then added in Devanagari script. “Janta malik hai, parties aur paua aate jaate hain (The public is the master; parties and liquor come and go).”
Billie Eilish, it turns out, is better than her peers. A headline announced that she had urged her fellow celebrities to speak up about the water crisis in Mira Road, paired with an old Instagram story of hers that simply read, “Hey my fellow celebrities u gonna speak up?”
“Taylor and Ariana should take notes,” someone replied.
A woman whose debut single was ‘Ocean Eyes’ is, one assumes, uniquely qualified to comment on suburban water shortages. The logic is airtight.
There is a uniquely Indian pleasure in the whole exercise. For years, we have watched Western stars discover poverty or “the real India” in carefully lit Instagram carousels and the soft-focus of sudden moral clarity. The populace has simply flipped the script. Instead of waiting for them to discover us, we are assigning them homework they will never complete.
The only silence louder than Sabrina Carpenter’s on Nagpur plywood is that of Indian celebrities, who gleefully stayed quiet on everything closer to home. At least Sabrina has the excuse of not knowing where Nagpur is.
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(Edited by Prasanna Bachchhav)