A ridiculous depiction of masturbation does more damage than good. It tells young women that exploring and discovering their bodies is odious and absurd.
When it comes to masturbation, the last week has been terrible for India. First, we learnt that a large number of Indians on Twitter do not know how to spell the word. Second, we realised that even in a progressive Bollywood movie on female friendships, masturbation is seen as an activity to be ashamed of, and to hide from your lover.
Since Friday, Veere Di Wedding – India’s version of the Sex and the City – has managed to create a stir with its outrageousness. Starring some of the biggest actresses from Bollywood – Kareena Kapoor Khan, Sonam Kapoor Ahuja, Swara Bhasker – the film shows women smoking joints, focusing on careers, saying no to marriages, enjoying one-night stands, and even discussing multiple orgasms. And all of that is great, considering how rarely one sees such independent women in the Hindi film industry. It also shows Swara Bhasker’s character masturbating, and enjoying it.
But that is where things start going wrong.
Many Twitter users criticised Bhasker for performing that scene, and bizarrely they all posted the same message on their profiles, with the word “masturbation” misspelt.
For some weird reasons, people who cant spell “Masturbation” are going to watch #VeereDiWedding with their Grandmothers and want answers from @ReallySwara pic.twitter.com/CAB1ab5b4O
— Joy (@Joydas) June 2, 2018
Thankfully, Bhasker managed to score over her critics with a sassy response:
??????? Looks like a certain IT cell sponsored the tickets- or definitely the tweets !!!! ??♀️??♀️??♀️???? https://t.co/KIUqMoOLRG
— Swara Bhasker (@ReallySwara) June 2, 2018
But the problem is not that Veere Di Wedding has a masturbation scene, but what follows after it.
Bhasker, trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage, decides to use her fingers and a sex toy to please herself. Her husband walks in on her just as she is orgasming. He threatens to tell the world her “shameful” secret, and begins blackmailing her. As a result, she goes on a bender, wallowing in self-pity and shame. When she finally summons the courage to tell her best friends that she masturbates, she refers to the activity as “half-cheating” on the husband. Her friends, who are all well-travelled, liberal women, laugh about it, but never bring up the most obvious question: What is wrong with masturbation?
Not only does the movie show sexual self-gratification as a weird and infrequent activity, it also depicts an educated, urban man and woman considering it as grounds for divorce.
While it is great that mainstream Bollywood movies have begun talking about female sexual desires, such a ridiculous depiction of one of the safest forms of sexual pleasures does more damage than good. It tells young women that exploring and discovering their bodies is odious and absurd. It tells them that there is only type of sex, and it involves a male partner.
If we lived in an ideal India, masturbation would be taught in schools as part of sex education. Young women would be encouraged to listen to their bodies. They would be taught the difference between a vagina and a clit.
To know more about what science says on this subject, click here.
The good news is that there are projects in India that are trying to remove the stigma surrounding female masturbation. For instance, Agents of Ishq, a Mumbai-based media company publishes everything, from personal essays and guides to surveys and memes, to encourage women to explore themselves. If only the Veere Di Wedding team had considered product placement for the vibrator.
Hi Diksha,
what a write up.. kudos
Yaa seriously whats wrong in that is it wrong to feel good or to get obsession of ones own self. Pluse it was the most lame reason for a divorce. If it was a wrong activity why such things are wrong why such things are made then..? At last its good to feel good and one should do what ever make him or her feel that.
I am surprised by the twitter responses! If most Indian women dont masturbate -what a pity! It is an amazing experience to release tension and not only enjoy the experience but a way to relax for both men and women- whether single or married or in a relationship- everyone should pleasure themselves without necessarily relying on a partner ! it is only healthy.
Well said..only yesterday I had watched this movie…after that im so happy that really in india there are some people who really dont feel shy or ashamed in talking About MASTURBATION. Its all about A women finding herself happy without A man support. But for those women this movie sets an example who has loveless or sexless marriage decides to use sex toy to please herself..WHATS WRONG WITH MASTURBATION.
According to medical fraternity,MASTURBATION IS A SAFE WAY to release sexual tension. Boys and girls indulge in it. After release of tension,they carry guilt feeling for some time. With hectic life styles,there is no time for couples to make love.Bedroom is full of smartphones,laptops,chargers etc, instead of rose flowers, scented bed linen, sounds of romantic ghazals, dim lights,eye to eye contact between the couple,love talks, jokes etc. So masturbation in on the increase. People are happy about masturbation because it requires less time,does not require a bed does not require undressing etc.It is simple,quick,and effective. Can be done in workplace, college,schools etc.It is a pity that veer de wedding looks down upon a most popular and a nice method of enjoying oneself.This subject will be discussed in open in near future like the subject of menstruation.So go ahead and enjoy.
Hi!
If you think you know what gender quality & women empowerment actually means, please go to the link
https://www.quora.com/Whats-your-take-on-Bollywood-after-watching-Veere-Di-Wedding-2018
This will change your thoughts & will also be helpful in writing upcoming articles.
Ha ha ha!!! It seems to suggest opening a coaching institution for this!!!
Absolutely right and true. One one side you are touching the most controversial issues but on the other side not closing the issues
The half cheating was not addressed properly and this movie oozes of psuedofeminism
Very well written Diksha.proud of you girl.carry on with good work.i really enjoyed the movie with my daughter.kudos to you girl.