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Sudha Murthy got caught in ‘Have camera, will shoot’ game. But more of that spunk, please

Sudha Murthy was only half-serious when she made the comment about her husband and Rishi Sunak. We need such a sense of humour in public life—just Mamata Di isn't enough.

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Since all things Karnataka is dominating the news, this is a strictly non-political column about a prominent Kannadiga “Ákka”, the First Lady of Bengaluru. Padma Bhushan awardee, popular author, philanthropist, and educator Sudha Murthy found herself in a spot recently after an unguarded, light-hearted comment she made during a strictly private family havan at a relative’s place in Bengaluru went viral.

A video of that informal chat surfaced online and led to furious debates, with users calling her ‘pompous’ and worse. So, what did Murthy say that generated such controversy? Well…taken literally, Sudha — wife of Infosys founder and billionaire NR Narayana Murthy and mother-in-law of UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak — is seen boasting to a group: “I made my husband a businessman and my daughter made her husband Prime Minister.” Okaaaayyyy….ummm….yes, taken literally, it does sound pretty presumptuous.

But here’s the thing – Sudha was merely joking with family and friends, in what she believed was a comfort zone. She was speaking to them in Kannada, and anybody who watches the clip can tell Sudha was jesting! Or, at worst, being half-serious. No woman in her right mind would voice such tall claims publicly, even if in her heart of hearts she believes them.

Sudha Murthy is way too aware, ‘woke’, and intelligent to make such a monumental faux pas not just about her own husband but about Rishi Sunak too. The UK PM’s wife Akshata has her own share of prickly controversies to handle. Surely, a woman as astute as Sudha would never compromise her daughter’s standing or undermine her husband’s reputation. But for a few stormy days, there were dark clouds hanging over Sudha’s head as critics hauled her over the coals for being flagrantly indiscreet and a braggart.

To make matters worse, Sudha appeared on The Kapil Sharma Show and carried on in a similar jocular fashion about her husband of 44 years, saying she thought he was an “international postman’’ going by the number of places he had visited, before they met through mutual friends. She added that she was expecting to meet a “dashing, handsome film hero’’, but when she was introduced to him, she wondered: “Who is this person… this chhota bachcha (small child)?” That’s Sudha – spontaneous and uninhibited. Since these remarks were shared on a top-rated television show, it is safe to conclude Sudha knew exactly what she was saying and was ready to face the reactions.

When do you let your hair down?

It is Sudha’s comments at the havan that raise far more important questions about public figures letting their hair down and speaking freely to people they consider well-wishers. That option has drastically shrunk in today’s aggressive and intrusive environment, where even the most trusted people from one’s inner circle think nothing of pointing a phone camera at a famous relative and filming conversations that are not for public consumption in the first place. Not satisfied with merely recording private moments, a few promptly share them on social media without any moral compunctions.

Sudha Murthy is a hugely respected public figure. Was all this fair to her? Was she aware of the fact that a relative was filming her as she sat relaxed, let her guard down, and cut a few jokes? Let’s ask what happened subsequently — was this out-of-line person confronted and chastised for a complete breach of family etiquette? Did the others reprimand the offender and offer an apology to Sudha? Has it come to a stage where we believe everything is fair game at family functions, especially if that targeted individual happens to be a celebrity, I wonder.

A worldwide phenomenon

It’s time to consider whether someone should be hard at work framing a few rules regarding certain non-negotiable protocols for parivaars and friends. With so many socially sanctioned changes happening around us, it’s going to be hard to draw up a primer for beginners to follow and adapt.

It’s not just Sudha Murthy who finds herself in this tricky situation — where she’s captured for posterity as she shoots her mouth off without pausing to think or notice several hands that are busy recording every word and gesture on camera.

This is a troublesome phenomenon across the world, with global celebrities strenuously trying to come up with a way to safeguard their intimate moments when they aren’t obliged to follow a script. So far, it’s been a lost cause. “Have camera, will shoot’’ is the name of the game. In Sudha’s case, the repercussions of those bombastic claims could have backfired badly. Akshata is nonstop on the British public radar. This comment taken out of context would not add to her popularity ratings. One hopes Sudha continues to be herself and has not been badly singed by all this nonsense.

It would be a shame if she holds back in future and watches her words at family gatherings. We need more spunky women with a sense of humour in public life. Just one Mamata Di is not enough!

The author is a columnist, social commentator, journalist and opinion-shaper. She has written 20 books. Views are personal.

(Edited by Humra Laeeq)

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