New Delhi: For author Kartikeya Vajpai, human beings are simply a medium for life to experience itself, which he calls a simple explanation of ‘who am I’.
“Our identity, our attachments, our innate desire is to predict who we are. And this desire itself creates a separation from who we actually are,” said Vajpai during a discussion at the launch of his book The Unbecoming: Let Life Reveal Its Purpose at Delhi’s India International Centre on Wednesday.
The discussion was moderated by novelist Neelima Dalmia Adhar, with former Vice President Jagdeep Dhankhar and Congress MP Rajiv Shukla in the audience.
In his book, Vajpai talks about how identity, ego and expectations can blur people’s experience of the present moment.
In an age of perpetual comparison, digital distraction and relentless self-presentation, the book asks whether creativity, authenticity and meaningful contribution could emerge from greater awareness rather than greater exertion.
“The Unbecoming is not just a story about thought or ambition. It’s a novel about loosening, about letting go, about what happens when the effort to become falls quiet. His novel is a voice shaped by narrative and a disciplined stillness that circles just one question, ‘Who am I?’,” said Adhar.
Unbecoming
The book is a fictional account of two characters rediscovering their identity and bond. Explaining the reason behind the title, Vajpai said ‘The Unbecoming’ is a nod to the seed of completion that is already within us.
“Unbecoming simply means coming home. To realise who you already are,” he said. “A pessimist person might see lack and limitation. An optimistic person sees it as hope and abundance. The outside world is a mirror reflection of your inner world.”
Vajpai also talked about curiosity and how it is linked to a person’s attention span. Everyone is born with curiosity, but many grow up to find it gone.
“One can be curious only about something which is happening right now or is leading to something. We encourage [children] to stay in that space. As adults, when our curiosity level is gone, that is where the burnouts in career, in life start happening,” he said.
When Adhar asked Vajpai about restlessness, he said it comes because we have the fear of the unknown and the nature of the present moment is unpredictable.
“And our desire to control this moment, to be in a position to know what will happen is what creates the restlessness. It’s a constant battle we are doing internally,” Vajpai said.
Experiencing
When talking about experiences, Vajpai said all the positive traits of a human being are in experiencing and all the negative tendencies rely strongly on memory.
Vajpai said people are dependent on an outside stimulus to tell them who they are.
“That is the reason that with all the distraction and this digital algorithm constantly telling us what is good and bad,” he said.
Vajpai used social media as an example, referring to people who are constantly on these platforms.
“Everybody is showing the best version of themselves. They might be miserable at home. It’s simply a desire because you want people to accept that you’re good,” he said.
Five senses
Vajpai said the five horses and the chariot on which Lord Krishna was sitting is simply a metaphor to explain that those five horses are the five senses and Krishna has the consciousness riding it.
“When your awareness is sitting on the driving seat of your five senses, every action that you do is a conscious action. The role of the five senses is simply to take command for an action,” Vajpai said.
He said it is quite foolish for a person to believe the outcome is entirely based on them.
“Life is so intelligent it can shatter your plans anytime, no matter how much you plan,” Vajpai said.
(Edited by Prashant Dixit)