We all knew Bollywood was a language by itself. No, it isn’t Hindi or Bhojpuri or Urdu. It’s the logic-defying song lyrics that go beyond language. This week, people put songs from trending reels through Meta AI’s voice translation tool.
So what happens when you take a Bhojpuri banger, run it through an AI translator, and make a computerised voice sing it in the rhythm of the original? Imagine an American woman singing “Phulauri bina chatni kaise bani” like a nursery rhyme. The Chatni Song from Dabangg 2 became a monstrosity of jumbled audio, incorrect translation, and curious vocal stylings that unleashed a flood of crying emojis in the comments.
“How was chutney made without a pestle? How was chutney made without a pestle,” the poor woman sang, putting all the stress her AI voice could muster on ‘chutney’ for some reason. And who will tell her phulauri is a snack, not a pestle?
Meta AI’s translations are closed captions given voice, set to an ugly mutant of the original tune. Although writers and critics have been saying that true translation is impossible—with tone, emotion, idioms—Meta AI doesn’t care. And it will ruin every single Indian song until it gets it right. Look what happened when it got its hands on Ghar More Pardesiya from Kalank.
These are the Hindi lyrics:
“Gayi panghat par bharan bharan paniya deewani
Gayi panghat par bharan bharan paniya…”
(This besotted one went to the riverbank to fetch water
She went to the riverbank to fetch water…)
But Meta AI wasn’t happy. It felt that the song was too much of a Bhansali rip-off. So it created something truly original:
“Pitcher and pot.. filling filling water… pitcher and pot… filling filling wateeeeeeerr,” sang the machine, voice cracking on the last gut-wrenching “water”.
The comments were pure gold. “Meri aatma kaanp gayi …meta AI keede padey tujhe (My soul is shivering… damn you, Meta AI),” wrote one commenter. “Memes ki kya zarurat (Who needs memes),” wrote another.
From Shreya Ghoshal to Guru Randhawa, no one is safe from the wrath of our future overlords. Best get used to the humiliation, I say.
Also read: Marathi grandmothers are taking over Instagram. In nine-yard saris
Dubbing propaganda
When it came to Guru Randhawa’s ‘Suit Suit’, Meta didn’t even bother with singing—and don’t ask me if it’s a reflection on the artist. In a thick Punjabi boy accent, AI shouted the lyrics: “OOOO it really suits you, that particular garment looks absolutely wonderful on you, it truly suits you perfectly…”
Using an ‘Indian’ accent for these AI singers isn’t the only wack thing Meta is doing. When you click the ‘translate’ button, the original language for Hindi, Punjabi, Haryanvi songs will show up as Marathi or Kannada. Who knew Mr Zuckerberg felt so strongly about North India’s linguistic hegemony?
Salman Rushdie said that even if things get lost in translation, something can be gained, too. Now I know what he was talking about—by showing how hard it is to translate even commonplace desi lyrics, Meta AI is actually helping Indians appreciate their languages more.
And where else would you find such a perfect example of the ridiculousness that is the dubbing propaganda? We had captions on reels. You could scroll on mute on the metro, it was great for everyone. But Meta suddenly remembered that Americans don’t like subtitles. Hearing one language and reading captions in another strains the American mind to its limit. So now we have these cursed reels. You never know when you’re going to be hit in the face with the next one.
Meta AI has come for Border 2, Hum Saath Saath Hain, and Haryanvi rap so far, but it hasn’t met its true match. Translate ‘Chhaiya Chhaiya’, and then we’ll talk.
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(Edited by Theres Sudeep)