Misogyny on Indian reality television is becoming difficult to ignore: from Nakul Dhull in Bigg Boss 20 to Gautam Gulati on Rise & Fall 2, when sexist remarks and attempts to police women’s behaviour become entertainment, they deserve to be called out.
The problem isn’t that men and women on reality shows disagree. Conflict is part of the format. The problem begins when disagreement becomes an excuse to humiliate, intimidate, or dictate how a woman should behave.
Nakul Dhull in Bigg Boss
Nakul Dhull faced backlash after old videos resurfaced on social media following his entry into Bigg Boss 20 as a wildcard contestant. In one clip, he suggested that men follow a woman at night to make her experience fear, rather than fearing women. In another, he referred to women as the “neechi gender”, or the inferior gender.
Speaking to Qazi Touqeer, Asif Khan and others in the show, Dhull later addressed the controversy, saying his remarks had been misunderstood and describing himself as pro-feminist.
The clips were already public before the show began, so the question is whether the makers vetted contestants at all, and why a man with a public record of such remarks was still given a national platform. Are we so hungry for views that we are willing to promote such people and their thoughts?
Gautam Gulati in Rise & Fall 2
On Rise & Fall 2, Gautam Gulati’s verbal spat with Priyanka Chahar Choudhary showed how men impose a “right template” on women. After a disagreement, Gulati objected to her tone and told her to “behave like a heroine”.
“Have you ever seen an actress behave or talk or shout like this… this is why they are in films, and you are here. Sirf mehenge kapde pehnne se kuch nhi hota (just wearing expensive clothes isn’t enough),” Gulati said.
More than a personal dig, the remark holds up an on-screen, scripted femininity as the standard for real women, tying their worth to how pleasant they sound even in the middle of an argument. How does a real woman behave, and who gets to decide that? Why should a woman remain composed to be taken seriously, while a man can be aggressive and still be considered powerful? Why is a woman who raises her voice labelled dramatic and ill-mannered, while a man displaying similar behaviour may be seen as assertive or dominant?
The pattern is not new. Farrhana Bhat, for instance, faced repeated criticism from Bigg Boss 19 host Salman Khan over her language and behaviour during Weekend episodes. She was criticised for being too loud, outspoken, and aggressive, even as male contestants in the same house repeatedly used abusive and vulgar language. Viewers questioned why men displaying similar behaviour were not held to the same standard.
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A double standard for women on screen
Women on reality television are frequently caught in this double bind. If they remain quiet, they are accused of lacking a personality. If they fight back, they are branded aggressive. If they cry, they are emotional; if they refuse to cry, they are cold. There is seemingly no winning because the scrutiny is not always about what they do. It is also about whether they conform to an expectation of acceptable femininity.
Reality television shapes conversations, and the people on screen must be held accountable for what they say and do. Sexism should not be dismissed as entertainment, nor should a woman’s assertiveness be treated as a character flaw.
Producers, hosts, and audiences need to ask why the same behaviour is judged differently depending on who displays it. Until men are held to the same standards and the same amount of accountability as women, these shows will keep presenting regressive attitudes as entertainment, and audiences will keep absorbing them as normal.
(Edited by Maryam Hassan)