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HomeThePrint ProfileTrans dating, surgery, house-hunting, pronouns—influencer Trinetra Haldar speaks bold

Trans dating, surgery, house-hunting, pronouns—influencer Trinetra Haldar speaks bold

Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju says respect is not just about pronouns. It is about attitude.

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The multi-hyphenated Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju has many firsts to her credit. She is one of India’s first openly trans-social media influencers, Karnataka’s first trans doctor, and an actor. Gummaraju chose her own definition of femininity and womanhood, despite the backlash, sometimes from within her community.

“There are certain expectations about how maybe clothes should be gender fluid, or doing certain things is falling into the norms of patriarchy,” she said. And these lines of definition did not sit well with the doctor who was on Forbes India’s 30 Under 30 list last year.

She engages with her 2,59,000 followers on Instagram by making vines, writing long static posts, and creating reels to talk about transphobia, her experience as a trans individual, and about the queer community in general. The average views on her posts rack up to over one lakh.

Even her choice of clothing is not a simple ‘get ready with me’ or ‘outfit of the day’ moment. Through her sartorial choices, she articulates society’s expectations of different genders dressing differently, and how trans individuals or queer people are often pressured into conforming to clothing styles that can be restrictive.

“To be able to wear what I want and express myself is what I could have only fantasised being many years ago. It is a matter of defiance and protest against gender roles, and a matter of feeling sexy,” she said.

In one of her carousel posts, she puts up a mirror selfie and photos with quotes talking about the scars from her surgery, and the anxiety of accepting them. Another post, where she wears only a pair of jeans, with her back to the camera, lists 10 things she learned over the years about cosmetic surgeries, body image insecurities, transphobia, and representation.

Her followers appreciate her honesty, whether it is about her online dating experience, house hunting as a trans person, or laying bare the trials of sex reassignment surgery. On her YouTube channel, The Trinetra Method, she has 15,000 subscribers. In a vlog, self-shot with a mobile camera, she documents her physical healing after surgery. She spoke of the extreme pain and discomfort that accompanies the process.

“I can’t sit properly; I can’t stand properly. I had to go to the washroom to poop, and it was a mess, and cleaning up after it was even worse. The pain was so bad that I threw up,” she said, in a halting voice.

The comment section on Gummaraju’s videos is flooded with remarks from other trans individuals thanking her for unabashedly sharing her experience.

“I am a transgender woman who had surgery one week before her 64th birthday after years of struggling about my identity… I feel so much better now that my mind can now recognise my body. I congratulate you on your journey and like you, accept that the pain is well worth it,” wrote one follower.


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Queer political correctness

Gummaraju understands the significance of representation and visibility, which she advocates tirelessly.

“I remember watching an episode of Satyamev Jayate where Ghazal Dhaliwal [a transgender screenwriter] spoke about her journey. That made me feel that it is possible to have the kind of life I want, and I also showed it to my parents,” said Gummaraju. She was 16 at the time. Inspired by Dhaliwal’s story—the screenwriter who has worked on films like Shelly Chopra Dhar’s Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga (2019) and Netflix’s coming-of-age drama Mismatched — Gummaraju convinced her parents to let her have a sex reassignment surgery. Nine years later, she would soon become a changemaker herself, and also be recognised for it.

She shed her old name to become Trinetra, which she chose after the three-eyed Durga. Today, she is a powerful voice in the transgender community, one who does not rein in her words when calling out everyone including celebrities and comedians on their trans-blindness.

When Vir Das cracked the now infamous joke about pronouns as part of his Ten on Ten series, many called out the comedian. Das is heard saying,  “I am not because Transpeople have the courage to discard an organ if it isn’t working properly. For them… or a man who used to be a woman and the kid is like… it just means that your kids will have a long chapter in school when they learn pronouns.”

Gummaraju was one of the people who called the comedian out. In a reel, she just acted out like a child crying, and posted a line about the hypocrisy when a comedian is complaining about being cancelled after his transphobia is revealed, alluding to Vir Das.

But at the same time, she pointed out that the concept of pronouns is a western one. “Everyone does not have access to the English language or even queer political correctness,” she said.

This is something that she was reminded of every day as a medical student and an intern at Kasturba Medical College in Manipal. Her patients spoke Kannada, and pronouns would be inaccessible to them.

“There is a way to use language that’s respectful. Respect in language is not just about grammar or pronouns. It is about attitude,” said Gummaraju. Her calm demeanour belies the history of discrimination that she faced during the four years of her medical education.

Gummaraju said she often received more respect in broken English and Kannada from people who worked with her, than the supposedly educated and elite faculty and fraternity. It was her professors who stopped her from entering classrooms or discriminated against her over her choice of outfits and accessories.

After Manipal, Gummaraju moved to Mumbai. She said that the city has had a history of being home to many queer-friendly movements, and allyships. And over the years, the people she met on her trips to the city, shaped her decision to make it her new home.

“My experience of Mumbai is very different from a trans individual who is a sex worker.” That said, she still faced prejudice from landlords who would refuse to rent out their apartments to her.


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Privilege and responsibility

Gummaraju juggles being a doctor with her other interests — acting or creating content on social media.

She appeared in an episode of the Netflix show Behensplaining (2020) where she and social media celebrity Kusha Kapila dissected the representation of the LGBTQIA+ community in Bollywood, through the film Dostana (2008). She is also part of the upcoming second season of Amazon Prime Video’s Made in Heaven. 

But she acknowledges that a lot has been possible because of the kind of privilege she has.

Her Hindu Brahmin family, despite initial resistance, has been supportive of her transition. “I come from a family that chose to educate me and not throw me out of the house. It should not be a privilege but it is in our society,” she said. Gummaraju grew up in Bengaluru.

And for her, the advantage of privilege comes with the responsibility to create space for greater representation.

Throughout her childhood, Gummaraju was often told by the naysayers what a transperson could not do. But she has been able to chart her own path.

“I want to act more and I also want to direct a film someday,” she said.

(Edited by Ratan Priya)

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