New Delhi: Cricketer and social media influencer Anaya Bangar’s coming out story sent shockwaves across the cricket fraternity. As the daughter of veteran Indian cricketer Sanjay Bangar, her journey wasn’t just about overcoming personal homophobia, it was a confrontation with family expectations and societal norms.
It’s been more than two years since Anaya chose to live her truth, and today, she feels more alive, satisfied, and at peace than ever before. The noise on social media—the hate and name-calling—doesn’t unsettle her. But there’s one wound yet to heal: walking away from cricket.
“I have no regrets, only sadness,” Anaya, who was earlier known as Aryan, told ThePrint. “I was put in this position by society and the cricket system. I had to choose between giving up on sport or giving up on myself.”
Recently, Anaya participated in an eight-week research project conducted at the Manchester Metropolitan University Institute of Sport (UK). The goal was to evaluate how hormone therapy had affected her strength, stamina, and overall performance compared to cisgender female athletic standards.
The results, she said, revealed that her hemoglobin levels, glucose regulation, and power output were all within or below cisgender female athlete norms.
“This was not done to make a political statement,” Anaya said. “It is to start a science-based conversation about inclusion in sport; a conversation that centres around data and not assumptions or pre-conceived notions.”
So far, Anaya hasn’t received any message, call or email from either the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) or the International Cricket Council (ICC). “If this is happening to me, what will happen to people who don’t come from privileged backgrounds?” she asks.
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‘Wanted to kill myself’
Before transitioning, Anaya’s cricket career was on a promising path. A left-handed top-order batter, she played for Pondicherry at the Under-16 and Under-19 levels and even made it to the trials for Mumbai’s Under-23 team.
On the face of it, her journey as a young cricketer looked successful. But within, Anaya was grappling with a deeper, unresolved struggle.
“There were times I took a knife and scissors to mutilate myself,” she said. “I would think of killing myself because I couldn’t live the fake life or be this fake version which everyone would praise.”
“I thought that if I played for India, IPL or any level of cricket, it would mean nothing because it would be built on a lie,” she added.
At just eight or nine years of age, Anaya would dress up in her mother’s clothes, standing in front of the mirror in an attempt to connect with who she truly was. But that fleeting sense of joy would go away as soon as she remembered that she was born with a male body.
“There was a lot of internalised homophobia and transphobia in me,” she admitted. “Therefore, I pushed those feelings aside rather than face them.”
From the age of nine until she turned 20, these feelings remained suppressed. Anaya said she was on anti-depressants and therapy. But the under-23 selection match for Mumbai at Bandra Kurla Complex was the clincher.
“Arjun Tendulkar was batting and I was fielding at covers. When he hit a cover drive, I tried to stop it and in that attempt I ended up breaking a wrist bone,” she said.
It ended up becoming her last day on a cricket as a biological man. She decided to embrace her identity as a trans-woman. But coming out wasn’t the end of her struggles—it was the beginning of a different kind of internal battle. Anaya, who moved to the UK to transition and live a normal life, described the emotional toll of living behind a façade.
“I had to put on this armour, this toughness people expect from men. But when your mind and body are not in sync, those layers you’ve built to survive can become exhausting,” Anaya explained.
“Over the years, I had built this masculine body, created a persona that fit society’s idea of what a man should be,” she said. “I studied in a boys’ school. I played cricket—a sport that thrives on hyper-masculinity and can be deeply toxic.”
The 2023 IPL season was when she came out to her parents. And a year later, in November 2024, Anaya made her transition public via Instagram.
In order to explain to her parents, Anaya said that she made a playlist capturing what it meant to be a trans-woman, the science behind it and how much a transition would cost.
“Initially, they weren’t okay. It took them time to understand, and gradually they showed support for a transition. But, they are still coming to terms with how I looked, how I dressed, the cosmetic surgeries and more,” Anaya said.
Process of ‘coming out’
The transition from Aryan to Anaya didn’t just happen with ‘coming out’ publicly. There were months of counselling and therapy, followed by Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
Before any medical transition, psychiatrists check if there is a mental health issues driving the person to take such a step. “After over two months of assessment, I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, meaning a misalignment between the mind and the body,” Anaya said.
Once the psychiatrist gave her a certificate for gender dysphoria, Anaya was legally allowed to start her Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)—testosterone blocker shots in the form of injections, pills or gel, as well as oestrogen shots.
On 26 December 2023 (her birthday) she took her first first testosterone blocker shot.
“Your body tends to react in a different way—you hit second puberty. The same thing every girl experiences, even though we go through that. Besides periods and cramps, we experience everything—like breast development, skin softening, hair thinning out on your body,” Anaya explained, adding that she started experiencing the changes two months into her HRT.
Since Anaya’s body doesn’t naturally produce oestrogen, she has to be on HRT for the rest of her life. “I take oestrogen shots daily and testosterone every three months. It’s part of my life.”
The hormonal changes did not just impact Anaya’s physical appearance, but also her ability to play cricket. Her energy levels diminished. She started to get bruises from the cricket ball easily. Even with respect to recovery—her body now takes longer.
Anaya said that one aspect of transition which often gets overlooked is mental health. “You are not just losing muscle mass, you are also understanding how those female hormones work. All the layers I built up to fit in as a guy in the society, I had to peel off and it doesn’t happen overnight.”
Adding, “It takes a toll on your mental health because you are growing up all over again. You tend to act childish, act all cute and it can be unsettling for many.”
Anaya also revealed that following her transition, she faced harassment on social media and by some former cricketers. “People have asked for nude images, have asked me to sleep with them and so on but I am sure other trans-women go through worse.”
Transphobia in cricket
When it comes to making Indian cricket more inclusive, Anaya calls for one thing above all: fairness—fair dialogue, fair discussions, and fair guidelines.
“Before anything else, we need acknowledgement—acknowledgement of the existence of trans-people in the BCCI rulebook,” she said. “And we need to reinstate case-by-case assessments for trans-women who wish to compete in the women’s category.”
She emphasised that medical oversight which is already in place can also play a major role in assessment.
“Athletes have to regularly submit testosterone levels—monthly in some cases—just like ICC guidelines. Even after completing a year of hormone therapy, trans-athletes still have to prove their levels are within range. And for trans-women who’ve undergone surgery, testosterone levels remain low because their bodies no longer produce it,” she explained.
Therefore, Anaya is critical of blanket exclusions based on public perception or prejudice. “You can’t exclude an entire group just because of transphobia or how the general public perceives trans-people.”
To drive the point home, she drew a comparison with former competitive swimmer and Olympian Michael Phelps. “His body defies athletic norms—he produces less lactic acid, has a longer wingspan, and other unique advantages. Would you ban him? Then why is it only women who are targeted for their biology?”
The influencer also pointed to the Imane Khelif controversy as an example of harmful assumptions. “Imane isn’t a trans-woman. She was born female, raised female. Her situation is likely similar to Dutee Chand’s. Both have higher natural testosterone levels. But just because she doesn’t conform to stereotypical ideas of femininity, people assume she’s trans. That’s deeply unfair.”
During the India–England Test match, pride flags were painted on the wickets to mark Pride Month. This came just weeks after the England and Wales Cricket Board banned transgender women from participating in all levels of women’s cricket.
“They want to appear supportive, but don’t want to take actual supportive steps. It’s performative,” she said, praising companies like Godrej in India, which offer transition-related medical coverage and create space for trans-employees to work with dignity. “That’s what meaningful support looks like,” she added.
If you are feeling suicidal or depressed, please call a helpline number in your state.
(Edited by Viny Mishra)
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