Young couples are reinventing first dates. Not coffee and dinner but Zumba, spa, pottery

The 20-somethings are trying out the A to Z dating trend, testing out potential partners through alphabetically curated dates. A for arcade, Z for zoo.

Illustration: Sonali Dub, ThePrint

First dates don’t always have to be dreadful interview sessions in dim-lit restro bars. We’re taking our matches to pottery workshops, book fairs and Sunder Nursery. Modern dating is about ‘axe-throwing’ – where the experience economy meets romance. Sick and tired of the dinner date small talk, pre-couples are making memories. And, let’s be real, it’s good for the ‘gram too. 

I am not saying that sip-and-paint with a date is a sure-shot way to un-single yourself but it’s better than sip-and-small talk. Think about it, if both of you are busy getting out of an escape room, who will have time to talk about exes? Instead of drugging the useless past, guys and gals in Delhi are literally walking through history—on heritage walks, critiquing centuries-old architecture, and finding juicy goss on philanderer kings. In Bengaluru, couples are cooking chemistry in tango, salsa classes. The drunk rich kid in Pune proved that bars can have worse vibes than bad dates (Salman Khan-level bad), so couples are steering clear—driving out of town to lakes, hills, and quieter escapes.

I am also told that these activity-based hangouts work like holy water on situationship demons. Something about actually doing things together – instead of just marinating in late-night “You up?” texts and rotting in dating purgatory – repels them. To stop a commitment-phobic hottie from bolting after bedroom football, his date is sitting him down for a platonic round of Ludo.

Dating A to Z

The 20-somethings are trying out the A to Z dating trend, testing out potential partners through alphabetically curated dates. A for arcade or Ayurvedic spa, Z for zoo or Zumba classes, they decide. When it came to B, one girl took her date to a bookshop. They picked out fiction for each other, and exchanged the said books (with side notes and doodles) on the next date. Cute, right? An architect friend attended a gym class on her second date. I guess nothing bonds two people better than watching each other almost die mid-squat.

Considering our goldfish-core attention span, it makes total sense why activity dates are all the rage. Catch yourself checking Hinge notifications on a Rs 1,200 coffee date? Add kittens to the mix—pay Rs 1,200 more at a cat cafe and keep your hands busy. Of course, there are cheaper ways to date like a South Delhi girl—walk around Lodhi garden, pack a picnic, or overanalyse Jamini Roy at the National Gallery of Modern Art.

The idea is to do stuff together, and be in the moment. Apart from running away from commitment, one couple in Bengaluru also goes sprinting together. They’re too busy catching sunrises together to worry about catching feelings. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t. Who cares. Keep up, Gen Z is not hell-bent on the outcome when it comes to dating.

Don’t overdo it

Some new-age credit card holders have discovered the fine art of aura farming (collecting vibe-y experiences to flaunt on all dating apps, Instagram and BeReal) and activity dates are great for it. A Sufi night at the Nizamuddin dargah, hand-holding—just imagine the number of likes on that aesthetic display. Even pitching something like that to your date can gain you aura points for being oh-so-cultured. The trick is not to overdo it, otherwise you’re trapped in your own circus.

There’s this guy who tried to impress his Left-Liberal date by suggesting a rights and policies talk at Delhi’s India International Centre. His horror? She was impressed, and wanted to keep attending such events with him. He couldn’t keep up with debates on agrarian reforms every other weekend and finally gave up. The lesson? Pick an activity you can actually survive.

To be honest, I am not much of a do-er but low-effort things like walking have worked wonders for me. As I tried to outpace my dates while playing a round of rapid-fire questions, they almost always ended up oversharing. Then I saw it wasn’t going anywhere, so I went home. Step count up, body count down.

This article is part of a series of columns on modern dating in India—the good, the bad and the cuddly.

Views are personal.

(Edited by Zoya Bhatti)