Let’s delete the apps together. These five magical words are as disarming as Daphne Bridgerton’s internet-breaking confession to the Duke of Hastings: “I burn for you.” But since we can hardly put our phones down after watching that last reel of the night, one can imagine how hard it must be to settle on the final match. The digital dating mart is quite abundant and too poor for assurance to make us stop shopping—er, swiping.
Naturally, this phase of dating is full of confusion. While one party is planning to soft-launch the relationship, another can’t stop updating their dating profile with fresh pictures. Keeping your options open feels safe. And to be fair, downloading an app, verifying the account, answering all the useless prompts, and uploading photographs are enough work to do once. Why repeat these tasks after every six-month-long situationship? It’s not laziness, it’s optimism for another round of the run-of-the-mill tomfoolery that is modern romance.
Another case for not jumping the gun when deciding if you want to delete the apps for someone is that they still might be DTF on their dating profile—down to fool. Here you are, giggling about them following you on Spotify, and they are double-tapping their exes’ and their mothers’ pictures everywhere. How many algorithms are you going to breach to confirm if they are sure about you? Horoscope readings don’t tell how many talking stages your “soulmate” is dabbling in. Of course, asking them outright is out of the question for me. All Men Are Liars (1990) is a factually correct song by Nick Lowe.
Exclusive relationships still the rage
My friend from college was perfectly deluded to think that she had found love in the time of Covid-19. They “really wanted to be with each other” so the guy asked her if she was still pulling matches on the apps. No, she said, are you? Not at all, he said. The excited girlfriend-to-be announced it to her girl group chat. What happened next had all the members in shock. The boyfriend-to-be swiped right on the girl’s best friend. The social launch ceremony was cancelled right away. According to the guy, he was truly on his last leg of uninstalling the app; he was just looking “one last time”. Going for the best friend was a rookie mistake.
Call it monogamy kink or an average rom-com fantasy, exclusive relationships are still all the rage. And while loyalty is a heavy word for Gen Z, we do expect it. Instead of demanding or asking for it, as skilled social media sleuths, we gauge it on our own. How to check if he is still on the dating app? Be on it. I haven’t been that obsessed with anyone’s son, but some people recommend blocking all his followers on Instagram. That way, you can see every new match he adds to the list. People living under rocks are relying too much on Snap streaks. Now that X has made likes private, there’s no way to know if he is even worth it.
The delete-the-app-milestone seems too tricky to enjoy. Maybe we are supposed to be in this swiping business for the long haul (or as long as they are free). Romance is not dead, we are just casually indifferent to it.
Ratan Priya is a copy editor at ThePrint’s Opinion and Ground Reports desk. Views are personal.
Note: This article is part a series of columns on modern dating in India – the good, the bad and the cuddly.
(Edited by Zoya Bhatti)