It takes one second for a hero to become zero. He can breathe loudly and give his girlfriend an ick. He can repost an AI slop reel and be blocked. The floor is infested with icks—he only has to dip his foot once. What can he do if not cry about modern women’s high standards?
The already-long list of icks is growing longer every day. And some would say it’s getting quite unmanageable. The discourse around icks has taken a 360-degree turn in the last couple of years.
Have women taken the quest for perfection too far? We get the ick from anything and everything. And the fact that we are refusing to settle for any man less than remarkable has become a big problem for the manosphere.
Dating apps are reinforcing a pattern incels discuss on podcasts: Algorithms match a large number of women with a relatively small pool of sought-after men. Even Splitsvilla—one of the most hate-watched Indian reality shows where singles pair up to compete for odd “challenging” tasks—is struggling because contestants aren’t able to build a “genuine connection” with the opposite gender. Most of them are choosing paisa over pyar. And isn’t it wild that the dating-type show now lets participants play only for money? Perhaps late-stage capitalism still has many wonders left to reveal.
Now, in such dire times, you can imagine how much a girl will be trolled online if she says she got the ick because a guy came to see her wearing knee-length shorts. Other than the fashion police, nobody’s sympathising with her.
Everybody’s worried that the girls have become insanely picky. “I don’t like the term (ick). I think it’s really sh*t and only really associated with men, and I don’t like that either,” English actor Florence Pugh said last year. It validated men and irked women who called Pugh a pick-me. Predictably.
Also read: What women want—a man who cooks and doesn’t seek a standing ovation for it
Can you work through an ick?
Even the popular Substack called ‘The Ick’—which first blew up on Instagram, only because of the million pet peeves of straight women—is calling out its patrons. In a latest survey, the page received 15,000 ick entries (80 per cent submitted by women), “His backpack was too big, she talked in a baby voice, he took out a box of his ex’s sex toys, etc, etc., etc.” And the verdict? The majority of the icks are workable, that is, 55 per cent of them. If your boyfriend stinks, ask him to wear deodorant, and the problem is solved.
That’s what friends in relationships keep telling single women—work through the ick. There are worse things in the world than hygiene problems. Everyone can learn to clean up; it’s not something to reject them for.
And 30 per cent of the icks were ‘tactical errors’. If a man can’t plan a date, he can learn. If he ends every text with a laughing emoji, he’s just clumsy with texting but still good for romance. Only 6 per cent of icks are serious, fully worth running far, far away from the person, according to The Ick.
Now, let me throw you a curveball. “He was getting ready to leave and threw his inside-out shirt towards me, gesturing for me to fix it. Did he just turn me into his mommy?” said a 29-year-old filmmaker. Is this an ick or not? Some of you might think he was being cute, maybe even romantic, by asking her to ‘perform an act of service’ for him. And that’s why some of you can never be friends with me. This is an ick and not the kind you can work through or get over.
Also read: Everyone’s ‘damaged’ in modern dating. Love will soon be called a mental illness
No end to icks
Honestly, I hate that I am being asked to develop a thick skin just to stay attracted to a man—it’s giving Sima Aunty. But fine, I did overcome one tiny ick to keep liking someone. That’s right. I caved—and actually read Fyodor Dostoevsky to understand why this boy couldn’t stop bringing him up. Until then, Dostoevsky existed for me purely as a personality trait deployed by the red-pilled, tormented man-child society.
Lately, I was told that the em dash—the most whimsical punctuation mark in the English language—has also fallen into the ick pit. Women are rejecting men on dating apps for using them. Apparently, it’s now a dead giveaway for ChatGPT-assisted flirting. Frankly, I respect the anti-AI resistance. But if everyone is using it out of fear of being judged for their writing, and still being judged for using it, how are they supposed to get matches online?
“Let’s just wait a few years and directly date a robot,” said a Delhi-based woman in publishing. In a way, it would be perfect. We can all program our personal bots exactly as we like and never be disgusted by random human quirks. But I swear if that thing takes too long to charge, I will get the ick.
Views are personal.
(Edited by Theres Sudeep)