If the Meta algorithm figured out that you’re a woman, it won’t be long before your feed will be a soft-focus carousel of reels telling you to ’embrace your feminine energy’ and ‘how to make men crave you’. How do you do it? For starters, stop being ‘Miss Independent’.
Instead, women in flowy, beautiful dresses walking through Pinterest-worthy landscapes will gently inform you that women just aren’t meant to carry the weight of being protectors, providers, nurturers, caretakers and lovers all at once. It’s just too much for our dainty, wispy, feminine nervous system. Do it anyway? You’ll become masculine.
Still unsure? Don’t worry. Some reels break it all down: all the little habits that are slowly destroying your femininity. Like being ‘glued to the news’. Because, obviously, a woman shouldn’t engage with the harshness of the outside world. The world might be ending, but you don’t need to know about it. Shut your eyes, breathe, and smell the vanilla candles.
Don’t lead a conversation. Even if it’s just making sure everyone is included and the room isn’t trapped listening to one guy’s monologue about his hyperspecific niche interests. Go with the flow, and learn to listen. Don’t give advice that no one asked for. Because, clearly, women are the ones with a reputation for handing out unsolicited and patronising life tips, right?
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Cottage-core pyramid scheme
Competing with men is also a no-go. Tricky, if you’re planning to have a life outside of the kitchen, men are everywhere. Actually, they’re in the kitchen too, if their work is getting compensated. But the message is clear: Don’t chase degrees or money. Why chase a prize when you can sit on a mantle as one? Please remember, the masculine earns and the feminine spends. Don’t hustle. Don’t rush. Don’t strive. Just… glow. Don’t worry, you’re going to attract amazing things.
And these are just the lists of “don’ts”. There’s a whole set of rituals to realign you with your feminine essence. Sit and silently stare at yourself in front of the mirror for three minutes. Learn to sit, stand, eat, and drink water elegantly. Speak to men using soft, positive reinforcements—the kind usually reserved for training puppies. Let the silence speak. Apparently, even the silence has more to say than you do.
One reel asks you to comment, “I want you to lead,” so you can get a 5-day email-filled sequence filled with tips on how to fully embrace your feminine reality. Hundreds of women have judiciously written those exact words. It’s like a floral filter, boss-girl, cottage-core pyramid scheme.
I get it. It’s tiring being a woman. It seems like the more women complain about the disproportionate distribution of labour, the more is on our plate. We now get to be everything, do everything, and look like Aditi Rao Hydari while we’re at it. Honestly, most of us need a nap. But if the alternative is returning to stale 1950s women’s magazines with advice teaching you ‘how to be your best womanly woman self’ and ‘how to trick men into liking you’, won’t we rather be masculine and in turn have human rights?
Views are personal.
(Edited by Ratan Priya)