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Modern age dating is exceptionally different from what it was in the past. Social media, dating apps, and evolving relationship dynamics together have given people more possibilities than ever to interact. We might think that this ease in communication brings every issue to an end, but ironically, they have also increased potential for mental suffering and a rise in anxiety. One of the most significant psychological effects of modern dating is the increase in separation anxiety, a disorder that was once thought to be unique to children but is becoming more prevalent in romantic partnerships.
Understanding separation anxiety in relationships
Separation anxiety isn’t just something kids feel when they’re away from their parents. In adults, it manifests as extreme fear, distress, or insecurity when separated from a romantic partner. Some of these signs and symptoms may include:
- Constant worry about a partner losing interest or leaving.
- Feeling on edge when a partner is unavailable or unresponsive.
- Overanalyzing text messages, social media activity, or changes in behavior.
- Struggling with an excessive need for reassurance.
- Experiencing emotional distress or even panic when a partner is physically or emotionally distant.
With modern dating introducing new complexities, more people are struggling with these feelings than ever before. But where is all this stemming from? What changed so drastically that instead of development and ease with technological and social advancements, we are sinking into such serious issues increasingly?
The role of modern dating in increasing separation anxiety
Modern dating supposedly comes with a lot many perks, from ease in communication, availability, commute, increasing awareness about psychological and emotional concepts, and open discussions and expression of feelings. While these aspects do exist in healthy ways, modern dating also brings in aspects that affect the concept of dating adversely.
The illusion of unlimited options
The advent of dating apps brings with it an unlimited range of options, much like a shopping website. With literal humans as options that are just a few clicks away, it creates a sense of unlimited options one can ‘choose’ from. Dating apps have revolutionized the way we find partners. With just a swipe, people have access to hundreds of potential matches. This can make people feel disposable in a relationship, decreasing the true value of human connection.
Ghosting and uncertainty
The modern age dating terms like ghosting, catfishing, benching, and as such have given labels as well as validation to concepts that are unfair and hurtful. Such behaviour plays a huge role in increasing separation anxiety for people. The unpredictability of modern dating means people experience more uncertainty, leading to heightened separation anxiety. The lack of closure can make individuals more sensitive and create a cycle of insecurity.
Social media and the fear of missing out
Social media has altogether changed how one views relationships. From creating unrealistic expectations, fake scenarios, and feeding misinformation as facts, social media often turns into an escape into the virtual world for a lot of people. It allows constant access to a partner’s online life, which can fuel separation anxiety as well. From comparison, built-up insecurities, overthinking, to jealousy and validation seeking, it can drain one out excessively.
Texting anxiety and the need for instant gratification
From an age of sending letters, waiting for months to see each other, waiting for a call of a few seconds for days at a stretch, we have moved to a digital world where everything is only a click away. Texting, video calls, regular check-ins and updates are the new normal, but has it really made things better? We expect instant responses. If someone doesn’t reply immediately, separation anxiety kicks in, and thoughts spiral down to overthinking.
The rise of situationships and non-committal dating
Modern dating brings in aspects of casualty, also giving rise to the concept of situationships and the fear of or general hesitation towards commitment. Especially with anonymity as well as virtuality as an advantage, a lot of people misuse it for their selfish purposes. Without clear relationship boundaries, people experience fear of abandonment, separation anxiety, doubts and insecurities to an unhealthy sense, which directly affects their confidence, self esteem, and sense of self.
How to cope with separation anxiety in modern dating?
The first thing to do when trying to cope with separation anxiety is to dismantle the idea of “modern dating” as an objective concept one needs to follow. Modern dating has evolved with a lot of advantages at our side, easing communication and availability. Recognising this with gratitude and using this to benefit the relationship is the way modern dating can truly evolve into something beneficial for people.
Recognizing what works for you
Although peer pressure and social media gives rise to herd behaviour and has more influence on belief systems than usual, it is important to break that delusional wall and introspect what one really wants. Being true to yourself comes with getting in touch with your authentic, vulnerable self. In a relationship, it is highly needed to recognise individual needs and find out ways that work for both of you in a comfortable manner.
Build self worth outside of relationships
Many people with separation anxiety base their self-worth on their partner’s validation. To reduce this dependence, one can focus more on being in touch with their true self. With hobbies, finding new interests, spiritual work, physical movement, and mental health check-ins, one can remain in touch with themselves and build a healthy self concept.
Set healthy communication and boundaries
Love grows when it’s given a healthy amount of space and time. To nurture it, boundaries are necessary. Instead of having a constant chokehold on each other without any personal space, learn to appreciate and see each other grow beautifully in your own individuality. Let each other be free to explore their own selves and dance in each other’s world.
Summing it up
The difficulties of modern dating involve uncertainty, the pressures of social media, and the delusion of limitless options, all of which increase separation anxiety. Nevertheless, it is essential to manage modern relationships in a healthier way by being aware of these triggers and actively focusing on being emotionally secure. Self-worth, safe communication, and selecting partners who provide stability rather than emotional suffering are all crucial parts of overcoming separation anxiety.
These pieces are being published as they have been received – they have not been edited/fact-checked by ThePrint.