Can you tell the liars from the fakers from the scammers on your dating app? It’s tricky. Everybody lies a little; it’s a given for the swipe generation. One might embellish the truth—maybe you don’t do triathlons and maybe you are not a global traveller or a Goldman Sachs VP. But it’s entirely different if you are just a Jamtara dude masquerading as a Tinder date. We can all agree that scammers are the only ones thriving on dating apps. With AI voice change, deepfakes, and stigma monster as their business tools, cons are making billions out of online dating—It’s a fresh Black Mirror episode.
It’s ironic how a Delhi-based IAS aspirant—who recently got scammed for more than Rs 1.2 lakh in cash and kind on the first date—met his swindler at a cafe named after the British digital horror show.
Afsan Parveen, the con, rizzed him up with a sneak peek picture right before the date. Her photo wasn’t fake; it was the exorbitant dinner bill that was. Parveen catches prey like him on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and even Shaadi.com. Clearly, she is a go-getter. Or was, now that she is in police custody.
Thanks to people like Parveen, ‘romance scam’ is not just a tautology these days, but a pandemic of its kind. The apps, of course, are shamelessly selling the “safe”, “user sensitive”, and “two-factor authentication” lies. Their AI detector is as good as the tech used by grifters and cheats. Nobody is safe.
Unlike Parveen, who worked with the cafe manager and staff as a team, many are pulling off such heists all alone. They woo you, fake intimacy, trick you into being vulnerable, and then either straight up rob you or threaten you into emptying your wallet.
How are they getting away with it? Victims don’t report them. Admitting to seeking a real connection on dating apps is embarrassing enough; it’s next-level mortifying to confess that you got honey-trapped.
How to spot a con
My college roommate took a month to share that she almost got arrested because of a Muscat-based hunk she found on Tinder. They matched in Chennai but he claimed to have left the city right after swiping right on her. So, they never met in person. He talked like the smoothest thing to walk the earth since butter and quickly became her late-night yap partner. Forget the hostel address, he even knew our room number. Eventually, he asked for a big favour: “Can you keep a FedEx package safe for me? My friend will collect it from you.”
Obviously, it wasn’t going to be full of chocolates, so she blocked him everywhere. His biggest tell? Zero pictures with any friend on his Instagram account.
Another way to spot a con is when they are too eager to shift the conversation out of the dating app. Many are too shy to share a real-time selfie, while others fool you into sending your picture and then hold it for ransom, demanding your father’s property to keep it private.
When they are not being secretive about the meeting location, they call you to shady Ghaziabad malls or a “new restaurant” that has no record on Google. Their social media presence is low-key at best because not everyone is as established as the Tinder Swindler who opened a Cameo account for his “fans”.
If you are the only one following your new Hinge match, they likely aren’t safe for society.
One popular tip to save yourself from the fakers and scammers is to reverse-image-search their profile picture—that Bumble match might shock you as a hot stock photo. Of course, the cunning ones don’t give away any cautionary clues. That way, online dating is like playing Russian roulette. Does anyone have a winning strategy?
Ratan Priya is a copy editor at ThePrint’s Opinion and Ground Reports desk. Views are personal.
Note: This article is part of a series of columns on modern dating in India—the good, the bad and the cuddly.