Bigg Boss 19 is the biggest bore. Nothing else on the big screen or the small one comes even close to it on the boredom scale. You’ll get a lockjaw from the number of occasions you will yawn through an episode. Yes, that’s how boring it is (Colors TV, Jio Hotstar).
If there was a Ba***ds of Bollywood for television’s ‘bahus aur betas, badmaash aur bakwaas’, it would go to Bigg Boss 19. Why, it deserves a National Award or an entry in the Guinness Book of Records for its foolishness.
With due apologies to all devoted viewers of BB, the reality show is unwatchable. Unless you are forced to watch it for professional reasons (like yours truly). Unless you like to watch film stars make walk-on appearances to promote their latest films or series – like Kajol did last weekend for her new OTT show Trial 2.
Unless you have nothing else to do than to watch a group of grown-up men and women who also have absolutely nothing else to do.
Watch them perform complex tasks: Bigg Boss wants you to race to a huge cake of cheese and poke your heads out of its holes.
‘Mature’ individuals who fight over washing bartans and rotis for the better of an entire episode (22 September).
Salman Khan, the redeeming act
The only rational reason to watch Bigg Boss 19 is if you are a fan of Salman Khan. The actor is the only worthwhile person, place or thing on the show. His ‘Weekend ka Waar’ is more interesting than all the weekday episodes put together—yes, he is that good and yes, the 90-odd minute daily doses of life inside the Bigg Boss house make him look even better.
When Salman bhai swaggers onto the show, his hands jammed into his trouser pockets as though they’re glued to them, he scowls at the Bigg Boss parivar seated before him — and the fun starts.
He scolds them, needles them, calls them out for their poor behaviour — and tries to set them against each other in order to spark some life into the show. He will ask questions such as, “Who is the most foolish person in this group?” “Who is chant, chatur and chaalaak?” “Who do you want to see evicted from the house?”
Bigg Boss 19 comes alive as contestants confront each other, insult each other, and be nice to each other. The moment Salman’s Saturday and Sunday show time ends, the oxygen is sucked out of the Bigg Boss house.
All that’s left is toxic dioxide.
Tough task? No, tough ask
Bigg Boss format is well-known: a number of adults, from different walks of life, but largely from the entertainment industry, live together on a gigantic ‘house’ set for about four months—maybe even more.
The interiors are a fright: the minute you zoom out for a long shot, you are confronted by the largest, gaudiest parrots ever. And other animals on the walls. This is meant to be a forest lodge.
The contestants perform all the household tasks and those assigned to them by the ‘boom box’ — he is the real boss of the show, telling them what to do and what not to do. And what does he tell them to do? Think about Trump’s tariffs? Vote chori? India-Pakistan Asia Cup match?
Nah. Play games. The latest involves one team doing a ‘live’ commentary on another team and making fun of them.
One by one, contestants are sent home, literally, as the public votes them out of Bigg Boss.
Brush, bathe, and bicker
This year, we have a few actors like Kunickaa Sadanand, Ashnoor Kaur, Gaurav Khanna and Zeishan Quadri. As a sign of changed times, we have a stand-up comic in Pranit More, and social or digital content influencers such as Mridul Tiwari, Nagma Mirajkar and Tanya Mittal. Model and Miss Diva Universe 2018 (there is such a thing) Nehal Chudasama, actors Farrhana Bhatt, Abhishek Bajaj and Neelam Giri, and music composer Amaal Malik are some of the other inmates of the house.
These people are confined to each other’s company. The meaning of their lives is to be either very, very mean or extremely likeable. Motto? Try to ensure that whatever you do is memorable.
The inmates of the house sleep, wakey-wakey, rise and shine — and almost immediately burst into song or dance. The men often stride about bare chest either to impress the other inmates or the viewers with their physique.
When Abhishek Bajaj is that last man or woman standing with head in a cheese hole, he flings off his (T) shirt. Uh?
They brush their teeth—and presumably bathe—eat, lounge about, and most of the time, bicker and bitch—sorry to use the word, but that’s what they do.
Nehal, for example, sits on her bed with her earphones plugged in and, periodically, utters one liners such as “You are a piece of s…”
Tanya called another person “a snake” and there’s an exchange about “a pig in the house”. Charming, right?
They scream, screech and generally behave as disagreeably as possible. They pick sides and plot against each other.
The other main activity is to confess: Contestants confide in one or more than one person, their innermost feelings and thoughts – about other contestants. Yaaawwwnnnn.
Bigg Boss remains popular, and the only possible reason for this is that viewers are seeking a complete escape from the reality of the world around them, gravitating towards something so trivial that its fate doesn’t matter.
Who really cares whether Tanya likes Kanickaa who dislikes Farrhana who unlikes Ashnoor who likes Abhishek…
The author tweets @shailajabajpai. Views are personal.
(Edited by Prashant)