Heartbreaks are awful, and there’s no shortage of creative expressions of post-breakup angst. But just when you think you’ve seen it all, there comes a real gem of pettiness. A woman’s chartered accountant boyfriend couldn’t stand parting ways with her like a normal human being. He had a spreadsheet to settle.
With the precision of a surgeon wielding a scalpel, CA Aditya itemised every rupee spent during his time with his girlfriend. From birthday parties and Valentine’s dates to haircuts, flowers, cigarettes and even mosquito coils – no expense was too trivial to escape his record-keeping. Although he was kind enough to waive his ex-girlfriend’s ‘ITR fee’.
The man’s spreadsheet stunt comes off less as a principled stand for equality and more as a petty attempt to settle the score after his relationship sailed. Thankfully, he at least balanced the books right.
But in this age of supposed equality, where every penny must be accounted for and relationships are reduced to a ledger of debits and credits, where has the romance gone? Last I checked, gifts and flowers were sweet gestures, not some line items in a breakup audit.
This incident only reminds me of these lines from Mahmood’s famous song: “Na biwi na bacha, na baap bada na maiya, the whole thing is that ki bhaiya sabse bada rupaiya (Nothing’s greater than money. Neither wife nor child, neither mother nor father).”
Where’s the romance?
Modern relationships have become painfully transactional. Give-and-take arrangements intended to benefit both parties like in a corporate deal. Romance and companionship have taken a backseat and money matters have become a priority.
While I am all for splitting the big investments and assets after a breakup, dividing 50-50 for flowers, food, haircuts and other day-to-day expenses is just too cheap to be understood.
Aditya even included an 18 per cent tax in his meticulous Excel document. The invoice of Rs 1,02,772 came with an EMI option with a monthly interest rate of 4 per cent. How do you even begin to justify this insult to injury?
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No lesson in ‘equality’
Men in Instagram and X comment sections are lauding the penny-pinching CA’s so-called noble act. “This man single-handedly gave women a lesson on equality,” read one comment. Another user wrote, “Equality maangoge, equality hi milegi ka behtareen example (A wonderful example of ‘if you ask for equality, you will get it’).”
It’s a sad state of affairs when the pursuit of equality becomes synonymous with the abandonment of basic human decency.
True equality involves more than just splitting bills; it requires a recognition of each other’s worth beyond mere financial contributions. But hey, what do I know? Maybe I’m just an old-fashioned romantic who believes that love should be measured in hugs, not rupees.
And, even if you are vouching for equality in the name of splitting bills, don’t forget to factor in earnings. The pay disparity between men and women hasn’t improved much. Consider your partner’s earnings, and don’t make them feel like their salary determines their value in a relationship. It’s the bare minimum.
To everyone eagerly blaming the woman in the comments—let’s get real here. The guy was never truly invested in the relationship. Sure, he’s smart enough to be a CA, but how is it that he just ‘happened’ to recall every tiny expense over the course of seven months?
He was – very sadly and obviously – keeping track the whole time. He was more concerned with balancing the budget than nurturing romance. Shocker that they broke up. So before pointing fingers at the woman, just ask yourself this: would you ever sign up for a relationship this transactional?
Views are personal.
(Edited by Zoya Bhatti)
Females want it both days. Heads I win , Tails you lose. Demand equality till it comes to paying the bills.