New Delhi: Actor Gaurav Khanna recently mentioned on Bigg Boss 19 that his wife and actor Akansha Chamola do not want to have children, adding that he supports her choice. What was a simple statement and a personal choice of a couple led to people policing a woman’s decision and harassing her on social media, giving a glimpse of our social conditioning.
Her clothing, her work, her music videos, which have nothing to do with motherhood, were scrutinised by strangers on the internet.
It is high time we move past the belief that marriage automatically mandates children. A woman’s worth ‘is not, will not and should not’ be measured by motherhood. And, it was unfortunate to see that it‘s not just men questioning Akansha but women too.
During one of the Weekend Ka Vaar episodes, an astrologer had entered the Bigg Boss house, and the contestants asked questions about their future. During that session, Khanna asked whether he would have children in the future. The astrologer replied that his wife was “thinking about having children“, leaving him visibly excited.
However, the following week, when Gaurav’s wife Akansha entered the house to support and meet him during ‘Family Week’, fellow contestant Malti Chahar brought up the topic. She asked Akansha why she did not want to have children, to which the actor replied that she was not ready for such a big responsibility and was unsure if she ever would be.
Akansha’s reply was enough to trigger the moral police behind keyboards.
The comment section on Akansha’s Instagram quickly turned into a cesspool of judgement and outright abuse. She was called names. Her character was judged. Her actions were called “unfair” and “selfish.”
Some of Khanna’s fans went ahead to advise Akansha to give her husband ‘the happiness’ of fatherhood.
Now, I fail to understand why her identity is tied to her ability or worse, her willingness to have children. And no man’s greatness makes her obligated to compromise.
You can be married to Shah Rukh Khan and still not want kids. It‘s okay. It‘s normal. It isn’t a crime.
Ideally, Khanna, lauded on the show by host Salman Khan for his values and temperament, should have been mindful before discussing his personal life and his wife’s choices on national television. After all, he is very much a closed book on the show and has been dubbed by Khan as ‘Mr Right’. So it would have been better if he had kept this chapter hidden, too.
But the backlash that followed exposed a mindset far more regressive than many of us care to admit. The idea that a woman owes children to her husband comes straight from patriarchal conditioning.
But, in my view, it is not motherhood they are defending, it is control.
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Motherhood isn’t a marital obligation
Gaurav’s support for Akansha should have been applauded.
Instead, his wife became the target of a moral inquisition, and he got a sea of sympathy. All this, simply because Akansha voiced a choice that challenges societal norms.
This incident is a reminder to us and society that motherhood is not a marital obligation; it is a deeply personal, often life-altering choice. And, women have the right to choose.
The assumption that a woman’s life is incomplete or invalid without motherhood continues to be one of the most toxic pressures Indian women face.
So, if a woman decides to remain child-free, the only acceptable response is respect. Not interrogation. Not judgement. Not pressure. And certainly not abuse.
It’s 2025. The least we can do is let women live their lives without being punished for having agency over their bodies.
(Edited by Saptak Datta)