Atul Subhash suicide was a ‘sacrifice’ for India’s men’s rights movement. It’s mainstream now

Anil Murty of SIFF argues that like in the feminist space, within ‘meninism’ there are different schools of thought. SIFF, for instance, does not identify with incels, Andrew Tate followers.

A public debate organised by the SIFF in Bengaluru | X / @realsiff

New Delhi/Kolkata: Delhi businessman Puneet Khurana spoke to his estranged wife around 3 am on 31 December, recorded a video, and killed himself. Within hours, he became the new face of men’s rights groups, lawyers and activists across India. From Kolkata to Kerala, helplines started ringing, WhatsApp forwards began bouncing from one phone to another, Zoom conversations were fired up, and Telegram channels started buzzing.

The message: Men are victims. It’s time to reclaim their rights.

Khurana alleged that he had been harassed by his wife and family. This was just three weeks after the high-profile suicide of Atul Subhash. Like Khurana, the 34-year-old deputy general manager at a Bengaluru tech firm left behind detailed allegations of harassment he faced by his wife and her family.

Both these incidents have legitimised men’s rights movements in the country. They’ve mainstreamed conversations online. Telegram channels and WhatsApp groups are gathering more and more followers—all male—by the day. MRA accounts on social media platforms like X are vibrating with righteous anger. These are tech-savvy patriarchs, trying to save ‘one brother after another’ in a country where more than 4.45 lakh cases of crimes against women were registered in 2022, as per the latest National Crime Records Bureau report.

Activists for child rights, women’s rights… they’re all looked up to. But men’s rights activists are made fun of

Anil Murty, co-founder, SIFF

Members are flagging that laws meant to protect women are being redirected to target husbands. They claim that Section 84 (Enticing or taking away or detaining with criminal intent a married woman) of the Bharatiya Nyay Sanhita as well as the Domestic Violence Act are being weaponised by estranged partners to coerce the families of men into paying high maintenance. Proponents of men’s rights movements have conflated the economic and cultural independence of women with the collapse of The Great Big Indian Family.

Some men’s rights groups like Save Indian Family Foundation, one of the biggest in the country, also visited Khurana’s family in North West Delhi and extended support and any necessary help. A leaked conversation, claiming to be between him and his wife, went viral on YouTube. And it’s become a hot-button topic at support groups as well.

“Being a men’s rights activist is not a very comfortable thing for me. Activists for child rights, women’s rights… they’re all looked up to. But men’s rights activists are made fun of,” co-founder of SIFF, Anil Murty said at a weekly meeting of its support group.

Attended by more than 200 men going through divorce proceedings, the weekly support group provided support and legal counsel to husbands facing cases under section 498A of the IPC, as well as estrangement from children. “But things are changing now, the world is listening to us,” Murty declared.

Men’s helpline numbers are seeing an uptick of husbands–estranged and otherwise—seeking counselling and help. Save Indian Family Foundation, of which Subhash was a member, saw a surge in followers (now at 37,000 on X) in less than a month. Men Helpline, another group based out of New Delhi claims that calls for help increased from an average of five a day to 20.

Atul Subhash (centre) with co-founders of SIFF, Pandurang Katti (left) and Anil Murty (right) | X / @realsiff

“Earlier, people were not interested in what I had to say. I really had to explain myself to make people understand the plight of men going through these toxic divorces. But now people are actively listening to me,” said activist and filmmaker Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj, whose documentary Martyrs of Marriage zoomed in on the misuse of Section 498A (dowry laws) of the now defunct Indian Penal Code by brides and their families. Her organisation Ekam Nyaay, too, has seen an increase in men calling for help and counselling.

“I don’t identify with or agree with some generalisation for women that Subhash mentioned in his suicide letter. But his suicide has been like a sacrifice for the movement,” Bhardwaj declared.

What men want

She’s in love with money. She’s angry because I gave her a sexually transmitted infection. Help me avoid an FIR. SIFF’s Telegram and WhatsApp groups are buzzing with such messages.

Some members share the stories of their doomed marriages, while others want advice on alimony. Another wrote of the need to devise a ‘MenToo’ marathon to attract attention toward the sorry plight of men and their issues. They contemplated getting help from Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh to spread their message.

A protest by the Tamil Nadu chapter of the SIFF | X / @RevInsanity108

“If in the future, alimony has been stopped then the marriage will be safe otherwise every day we will see Atul Subhash or Puneet Khurana,” one member wrote, while complaining of alimony demands made by his estranged partner and in-laws.

I don’t identify with or agree with some generalisation for women that Subhash mentioned in his suicide letter. But his suicide has been like a sacrifice for the movement

Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj, men’s rights activist

For help, they often turn to lawyers like Kolkata-based Mitra Guha Pal who has been fighting for men’s rights long before the deaths of Khurana and Subhash propelled this conversation forward.

“I have been able to help many men get justice from the courts. But there are others who are driven to despair as the laws that have been put in place to help women in distress are misused against men,” she said.

“Men need new laws.”

When news of Puneet Khurana’s death broke, Guha Pal was busy dealing with her own ‘traumatised’ client, who works in Washington DC.

“His parents stay in Kanpur, and they have all been dragged to a Kolkata court by the wife and her family for cruelty in marriage. Even as I was mulling the merits of the case against my client, his wife and her family took recourse to extortion by demanding a huge sum of money to quash the case,” Guha Pal told ThePrint in an interview at her North Kolkata house.

We need a revolution I tell you… an armed revolution

Anil Murty, co-founder, SIFF

Conversations around the misuse of laws started gathering even more legitimacy in December 2024, when the Supreme Court waded into the debate following Subhash’s death. In an unrelated case, it made observations on the growing discord in marriages, and how sections like 498A of the IPC are also being misused by women. A law intended to protect women is now being used as “a tool to unleash personal vendetta against a husband and his family members by a wife,” said the apex court.

For men’s rights groups, it was akin to a clarion call.

“We need a revolution I tell you… an armed revolution,” said Anil Murty, who helped found the Bengaluru-based SIFF in 2003. “If safeguards for men are not brought in quickly, then the Indian family system will collapse.”

One of the oldest men’s rights organisations is the Purush Hakka Sanrakshan Samiti, founded in the late 1990s by a lawyer in Nashik.

“Women generally get the mercy of society and man is naturally treated badly and becomes victim of society. We are here to prove that each case is not identical,in major cases men become victim of womens haressment behind the curtons (sic),” reads its mission statement on its website.

Anil Murty (in cap), co-founder of SIFF, at a 2-day hunger strike in Bengaluru in February 2023 | X / @realsiff

Within the ‘activism’ of men’s rights, though, there is no homogeneity of thought. Some are fighting for legal protections, others blame feminism, and still more men are calling for days when women had few rights of their own.

“Society’s mind has been poisoned. Are we not taking care of our mothers and sisters? This narrative of thousands of years of oppression… Where is it coming from? We were providing protection. You cannot call this patriarchy,” said Kumar Ratan of Men Helpline.

Murty argued that like in the feminist space, within ‘meninism’ there are different schools of thought. He calls them subcultures. SIFF, for instance, does not identify with incels, Andrew Tate followers, or people who want to bring back patriarchy—if it was ever gone.

“SIFF doesn’t stand for that, we don’t follow the ‘trad’ mindset or the reactionary mindset,” Murty told ThePrint.

SIFF in its current form was started as a Yahoo group in 2003, though it had existed as a telephone helpline for men since the 1990s. It took root in Bengaluru following a government announcement of a helpline for women, according to Murty. Today, it claims to have lakhs of members with branches in the United States, Australia, UK, UAE and Japan. On average, SIFF gets 6,000 new members a year, he added.

Many men’s rights groups like Men Welfare Trust in New Delhi are offshoots of the Save Indian Family (SIF) Movement.

The common thread is the consensus that they are being victimised by women. Villainisation of women is at the core of the philosophy that brings them together.

Are we not taking care of our mothers and sisters? This narrative of thousands of years of oppression… Where is it coming from? We were providing protection. You cannot call this patriarchy

Kumar Ratan, Men Helpline

Guha Pal blames this on the breaking down of ‘traditional families’, which has led to the dilution of value systems in turn leading to such harassment cases.

“I grew up in a joint family that had to migrate from their native homeland in East Bengal due to Partition. My father taught us to be fiercely independent, self-respecting and fair. He worked in the court and wanted me to become a lawyer,” she said.

Guha Pal did not start her practice in 2000 as a men’s rights lawyer. But what caught her attention was the cases piling up in courts against husbands.

“Male victims are not always comfortable in telling their lawyers what suffering they have endured. I learnt to be patient with them and earn their trust in order to fight their cases before the judge,” she said.

Gender centric laws 

Apart from their victimhood, all the men are bound by their hatred for “feminist women”, especially lawyers.

“Some of these feminist lawyers are terrorist kind of women. They say extreme things… and what they say is not right,” Murty said. He insists that men like him are not misogynists. But men’s rights activists are most vocal about the agency that women, especially in urban India, wield.

“Today’s women are not scared of anyone, wo dauda dauda ke maarti hain (they torture before killing). Men are more oppressed than women,” Kumar of Men Helpline said. He is convinced that female foeticide and infanticide and dowry deaths are not real issues.

“Have you ever looked up the data on male foeticide? It is more than female. More than girls, boys are dropping out of school. This one side narrative is forced, people should try to understand everything.”

International Conference on Men’s Issues(ICMI) organised by SIFF in Pune in 2023 | X / @realsiff

While SIFF in 2020 declared that men were going to boycott marriages, other men’s rights activists say in some years marriage, as a concept, will end in India.

“If things continue as such nobody will get married in 10 years,” Kumar said, “In today’s world, if I need a cook, I’ll just hire a maid for Rs 2,000 a month.”

According to Guha Pal, it is 498A of the IPC, known as the anti-dowry law which deals with violence against women by husbands and their relatives, that is misused the most in such cases. Section 498A was incorporated into the Indian Penal Code in 1983 to provide for adequate punishment for any cruelty inflicted on a married woman by the husband and his relatives. The punishment is imprisonment for three years and a fine.

Some of these feminist lawyers are terrorist kind of women.

Anil Murty, co-founder, SIFF

Incidentally, West Bengal had reported the highest number of cases of cruelty against women by spouses or their relatives in 2021, according to the National Crime Records Bureau report. A total 19,952 cases under Section 498A of the IPC were registered in the state

“In a significant number of such cases, the law is misused to pressurise the husband’s family to pay a hefty compensation amount even when no abuse, physical or verbal, has taken place. The law is tilted towards women and the courts are often biased toward them,” Mitra Pal said.

Lawyer’s advice

One of the more prominent female flagbears of the men’s rights movement in India with over two lakh followers on X is Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj. Formerly a journalist, she took up the mantle of advocating for men’s rights when her relative faced a false accusation under section 498A of the IPC, 12 years ago.

Bhardwaj has made two documentaries: India’s Sons and Martyrs of Marriage about men who claim to have been falsely implicated in rape and dowry cases.

If things continue as such nobody will get married in 10 years. In today’s world, if I need a cook, I’ll just hire a maid for Rs 2,000 a month.

Kumar Ratan, Men Helpline

“From being a journalist or filmmaker to becoming an activist has been a long journey. I have given TedX talks and also written independent stories. Amount of insensitivity, in the media, police, judiciary toward men’s issues that I have seen… I decided to stay in the space of activism and not just content creation. I decided to stick around and contribute to this space as I saw this as a cause that is worth fighting for,” she told ThePrint.

Although Bhardwaj wanted to initially spread awareness about male victims, she soon started getting multiple calls from people seeking help, counselling and sharing their own stories.

In 2024, she founded Ekam Nyaay Foundation, building a team that could help more people.

“We counsel people legally as well as emotionally, we also conduct extensive research. For example, in 2023, we came up with a research report documenting 850 cases of husband murder and suicide by men in 2023,” she said. She also claimed that 30 to 40 per cent of acid attack victims are men.

According to Guha Pal, many of her clients are men who do not have the means to hire a lawyer.

Her advice to future husbands: Get a prenup.

Don’t dilute Act

This clamour for men’s rights is met with disbelief and anger among women who are fighting for more agency and equal rights.

Women’s rights lawyers maintain that India remains a deeply patriarchal system. Women face regular violence at home. Women’s participation in the workforce is also declining, which raises concern over economic freedom. Flavia Agnes, a lawyer and activist says it is her hope that the Anti-Dowry Act will never be diluted.

“I am not undermining male suicides, but if you see the status of women, it has not changed much. So many women are murdered, killed, commit suicide, different kinds of harassment going on, I do not recommend diluting 498A at all,” she said.

The fallout of this growing clamour against the misuse of the law is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to get cases registered under the act as police officials deny invoking the section.

“Another thing is that there’s a myth that if booked under 498A, the husband is arrested, family is arrested. Hardly any arrests happen when a woman files a case,” she added.

Even as all laws are subject to misuse, there is a particular focus on the misuse of section 498A in the media.

“Social media platforms are now filled with vitriol against women who speak up against domestic abuse. Has dowry become a thing of the past or have marriages turned abuse-free? If the answer is no, why target women’s laws,” Bengali actress Arpita Banerjee told ThePrint.

I am not undermining male suicides, but if you see the status of women, it has not changed much. So many women are murdered, killed, commit suicide.

Flavia Agnes, lawyer

At Khurana’s house in North West Delhi though, the fight is to get an FIR registered to seek justice for their son. His sister Leena Khattar is running from pillar to post, meeting police officials and lawyers, seeking guidance. The family wants a case registered against his estranged wife for abetment to suicide, but so far an FIR has not been registered on the basis of their complaint, filed in Model Town Police Station. The police are waiting for a forensic analysis of Khurana’s phone as well as his post-mortem report.

His sister calls for an amendment to the laws. “I am a woman, I know what we go through. I am not denying it, but if laws meant for women are being misused by some people then it definitely needs to be looked into,” she said.

At SIFF’s monthly meeting, men gave their versions of failed marriages. A 30-year-old from Bengaluru said he has been separated from his children, another said his wife is demanding Rs 50 lakh from him. These accounts led to a chorus of anger against feminists, but Murty wanted to end the meeting on a positive note:

“Fight for justice, no matter what, fight for justice!”

In an earlier version of this article, ‘Men Welfare Trust’ and ‘Men Helpline’ were incorrectly identified as part of the ‘Save Indian Family Foundation.’ ‘Men Welfare Trust’ is a part of the Save Indian Family movement, not the Foundation.

(Edited by Theres Sudeep)