Picture this: You’re at a party with many people. Some are family, some are close friends, some are colleagues, some are friends of friends, some are school and college friends. There are all kinds of conversations going on. As it always happens, someone starts talking politics. Then someone finds the political chatter so abhorrent that they pick up a mic and announce that everyone present who supports X political party, should just shut up.
The better, classier, more constructive thing to do would be to either engage with the person you disagree with and try to understand, or extricate yourself from that conversation and move on.
Now, replace the party scenario with social media. You may not pick up the mic and shout literally, but many people see this kind of rude, aggressive, attention-seeking behaviour as perfectly kosher on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
I’ve lost count of the number of Facebook posts I’ve seen, especially in the last couple of months since the Citizenship (Amendment) Act protests took off, that say, “If you still support the BJP and Narendra Modi, please unfriend me now”, and frankly, I’m tired of it.
Also read: I invited pro and anti-CAA Indians to my home to talk beyond Twitter. This is what happened
A bubble
There are two aspects to the act of unfriending, whether IRL (in real life) or online, that I find problematic. One is that sanitising one’s life/news feed/timeline to such an extent that it becomes an echo chamber is dangerous. Of course it’s tricky, because there are many factors that come into play here – how close you are to the other person, if you’ve tried to engage with them on politics in the past and failed, whether they have actually said anything problematic or just voted for a party you don’t like, and so on.
Maybe it’s a random college acquaintance, so you rationalise it as: “Well, we’re not even in touch except for birthdays, so why not just delete?” Maybe someone has repeatedly made remarks that displayed extreme bigotry.
But what if it’s neither? What if it’s your favourite uncle or your work bestie and what if they’re not saying anything hateful per se, but simply voicing their support for a party that they truly believe has done some good work, even if not in the same departments that you care about? What if they have the numbers to show for it, numbers that you, given your preference for an echo chamber, might not otherwise have seen? Would it not be worthwhile to understand why someone you love is politically so different from you? Would it not enhance your own understanding of India and the motivation of its people at the polling booth?
There can be many reasons why someone votes a certain way, but painting every BJP voter and Modi fan as a bigot who needs to be ‘cancelled’ seems counterproductive. This limitation of ‘liberals’ has clearly been proven in the last two Lok Sabha elections.
Also read: Am I a closet Sanghi for mourning demise of an RSS man? Something’s terribly wrong: Tharoor
Just do it, without virtue-signalling
The second problem with unfriending is the performative virtue-signalling, which is very much an online problem. If, for whatever reason, you have decided that you would like to unfriend people based on their politics, then just go ahead and do it. What is the need to write a social media post telling them to unfriend you? They don’t seem to have a problem with your divergent views being on their news feed, but somehow you become the liberal darling because 73 people liked/loved your post and a dozen even shared it (they couldn’t even be bothered to write their own breakup note).
I asked someone close to me, who had recently asked pro-BJP people to unfriend her on Facebook, why she felt it was okay to put the onus of unfriending on other people. Her response was that she did not know exactly who on her friend list was pro-BJP and that she didn’t have the time to find out and delete multiple people, and that she was making it easy for them. To me, though, it came across as the opposite – when you do this, you’re making it easy for yourself. If you don’t even have the time to find out who the other person is, much less why they vote the way they do, but you want them out of your life, aren’t you doing liberalism a massive disservice? It gets enough flak in India as it is.
No one is born woke, just like no one is born a bigot. Everyone is learning, most people are trying. But the problem with so many liberals (and I count myself as a liberal too) is that in trying to out-woke and out-liberal each other, we are ending up with a fragmented liberalism that has no room for anyone who doesn’t have exactly the same views. And it is precisely this fragmentation that makes it so easy for the other side to exploit the cracks and push liberalism to the losing side.
A citizen is interested only in himself. This citizen votes for one who creates fair and transparent systems. Not going by some political vague conclusion that some legislation is unfair. Without getting convinced this type of voter simply ignores . Kindly avoid taking sides in matters where tax paying middle class voter is interested only himself.
The article itself is one sided n defeats the very purpose for which it has been written.In my friends’ group we have made it a rule not to discuss politics and religion.Believe me we are doing wonderfully well!
Pointless essay on nothing……
A very nice article. Thanks.
Bakwas
Thank you for the much needed perspective! Great article. Am a fan now:)
oops the cat is out of the bag! Most of the times liberals have been fighting each other for not being liberal enough. Even a small disagreement could spiral into such vile language by pompous self-righteous liberals ironically defending “inlusivity, diversity and accomodation” and having no hint of reflection. These annoying woke liberals who are quick to label anyone fascist who does not agree with them on specific issues have helped the right wing immensely. They only want their clones in their friends list and still pretend to be “liberal”.
Yes thank you let me be friends with that sanghi who wants to deport my friend and will shoot people to make that happen
I support Modi Govt and CAA.
Being liberal is now abusing Hindus on every aspect.
For liberals sindoor of Hindu women is patriarchy but Burkha is freedom of choice.
Pointing at Islamic hypocrisy became communal.
We do not want countless foolish secular stunts to prove ourselves liberal.
I am with you, we too should stage a protest against these hindu-haters.. They just say things of no reason, but the way they want it to which is mostly unreasonable
The writer of this post seems a bigot too. And you’re not liberal I am sorry. And such kind of article isn’t expected from “the print”.
Each to his own. People should quit FB. It makes them look quite unattractive. It is much easier to like people offline if you don’t meet their half wit online selves.
Damn it, they have figured it out.
Heres hoping not all leftists are as open-minded as you are and they end up “cancelling” you instead. We need Modi for many more years to come to truly make India great again.
There are people who are literally asking others to not talk to them if they voted for BJP, there are people who want to identify everyone who voted for BJP (as if this is the Nazi Germany) and still you call them Woke and call every BJP supporter bigot. Are you listening to yourself?
I have been a liberal since I was 19 when I chose to be a liberal based on what I read and thought. I still am a liberal in the true sense of the word – I think for myself, I question every belief and am not a prisoner of any dogma. I am a staunch BJP supporter – for now. The so called lefty liberals are anything but liberal; they are a bunch of deracinated illiterates who don’t have a sense of history, their own civilization and how the real world works. They don’t want understand why India was repeatedly attacked and enslaved for 1000+ years. Worse, they now want to identify with the likes of Aurangzeb and look down on the rest of us who are determined to ensure that nobody will enslave India again. Even worse, they want to hide India’s true history, which is tantamount to cultural genocide. They have been engaged in a grand project to detach indians from their civilizational roots and manufacture a new identity as the vanquished. The so called lefty liberals are the dream product of Macaulay. The sad thing is, they can’t change now because their identities and careers are tied to the lefty talk they exchange with each other. They don’t want to read anything other than what gets prescribed by their ideological masters. They are incapable of thinking as individuals – the very definition of illiberal.
Fareed Zakaria said this on CNN a couple of years ago that liberals of USA are the most undemocratic of people as they run down those whose views differ from theirs, while outwardly projecting an exactly opposite image. Your article confirms that this virus has spread to India too.
Well said!
What you said her, makes a great deal of sense Ms. Sood. Ever since CAA came on the scene and Shaheen Bagh canopies got erected, the scenario you describe has become a more frequent phenomenon. Both sides to take a calmer view. Must say the views of a liberal, as you consider yourself one, are refreshing.
This is total nonsense. Your centrist bullshit is helping no one.
Exactly