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Pakistanis are discussing Modi’s beard as if it’s a matter of national security

No one in Pakistan would have discussed Canadian PM Justin Trudeau’s Covid-hairstyle or beard, but then he is not the most-favoured-neighbour of ours.

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One year of Covid-19 and a lifetime of conspiracy theories. No, I have no intention to bore you to sleep with theories about coronavirus or the vaccine with 5G microchips. Though I still don’t get why’d they need Covid chips to track us when our sim cards easily serve the purpose? Leave that for another week, there are more pressing concerns. More illuminating than the Mars landing is the thing happening with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s beard. Or rather the conspiracies, curiosity and covert designs shrouding his beard.

Modi himself may not know the real reason behind his Rapunzel-like beard but some Pakistanis have unearthed the vicious ‘designs’. Lo and behold — Covid-19 was just a smokescreen, the real purpose is Akhand Bharat, to become Leader no. 1, to pose like an avatar of Kalki, or as a Maratha hero, or even end the world. There is the next Pakistan-India war brewing in that beard. And of course we will win that war too.

Also read: Like him or not, Modi is the prince of political drama everyone is compelled to watch

Modi’s beard a signal to Pakistanis

Long dadhi (beard) is only to signal Pakistanis. If anyone claims otherwise, they are simply lying. Long gone are the days discussing the size of Modi’s chest. Now dadhi is the new tool of Yahood-o-Hanood (Jews and Hindus) conspiracy. Let’s be assured that no good can come out of a beard that grows across the border, we are told.

It is no child’s play to find out the intrigues of the growing hair, moustache and a beard. And we do have the brightest brains to decipher the hidden signals of Modi to Pakistan. Discussions on the subject are more serious than any national security concern.

Three men with beards and a beardless astrologer on Neo News came together to discuss the faults in Modi’s bearded stars. Telling us that Modi has had a bad time since November 2019 and now his astrologer Murali Manohar Joshi, who they don’t forget to mention is also the founding member of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), has advised the Indian prime minister to not cut or trim his beard or hair. Joshi might be a physics professor but in the parallel universe, of Pakistan, he is an astrologer. We are also informed that Modi is doing havans to make the Akhand Bharat dream come true. “God forbid,” the beardless astrologer adds. But the real scoop the astrologer gives is that Modi is considered an avatar of Kalki (the 10th avatar of Lord Vishnu) by some in India. Yet, becoming leader No.1 seems Modi’s top aim. Modi ki dadhi mein conspiracy lays foundation of the new world order.

The beard has grown fast, leaving the remaining brain cells of Pakistani strategic analysts withered. In the beard lies Modi’s desire for misadventures, obviously against Pakistan, only to build his strong image. “Wo koi nai koi hamakat kar sakta hai,” we are told all because of the beard. Another commentator is sure that the Indian PM has grown his moustache and beard to create an uncanny resemblance to Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, a Maratha warrior who had fought against Mughal emperor Aurangzeb.

Also read: Modi’s lockdown beard is here to stay. It has much to achieve, politically

The Ram Mandir theory

The stronger theories do include that till the Ram Mandir is built, Modi won’t shave. Another one that carries weight claims Modi wants to sway his protesting farmers. That is the reason he started growing a beard a year in advance. Such is the power of the Indian PM’s beard.

The vernacular media has been quick to analyse how often Modi creates ripples with his appearances and clothes. “Like the one time he wore Rs 36 lakh suit on the visit of US President Barack Obama to India.” The same suit that made it to the Guinness Book of World Records and was auctioned for charity. It is said that Modi not trimming his hair due to Covid-19 was a hoax because now it has been ages since coronavirus, and the sole purpose of the Indian prime minister is to become a sadhu or a yogi. There is never a good conspiracy theory that doesn’t tie Pakistani leaders to Modi — some question that while the State of Medina is being built by Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan, it is Modi who keeps growing a long beard, confusion hi confusion, they say. Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz leader Maryam Nawaz always is often seen with a steel glass during political meetings or during her travels. Did she also receive advice similar to what Modi got on his beard? Strategic analysts can weigh in.

No one in Pakistan would have discussed Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Covid hairstyle or his beard. But then he is not the most-favoured-neighbour of ours. All this charcha around PM Modi’s beard makes one thing absolutely clear— the dadhi fails to scare Pakistan.

The author is a freelance journalist from Pakistan. Her Twitter handle is @nailainayat. Views are personal.

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  1. Funny article. Makes good reading. In India also, someone tied Modi’s beard to the completion of Ram Mandir. Only person who can clarify the purpose of sporting the flowing beard is Modi. He won’t speak!

  2. RSS Chief seems to have proved the Pakistani as he is also touting Akhand Bharat speaking at a book launch function. And of course we have Turupura CM has revealed that Amit Shah has plans to form Government in Sri Lanka and Nepal.

  3. Strange…..for money Indian journalists who contribute to Pakistani newspaper and Pakistani journalists who do the same in Indian newspapers, never find anything positive to say about their respective countries of origin.

    Buyers, beware.

  4. the left liberals in india must take up the issue here also. yogendra yadav, rahul gandhi etc must be convinced that something sinister is being planned by modi.

  5. its just like Indian Media echoed the beads of Imran khan. only need news and create conspiracy out of it

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