Always a victim, offended by everything and ashamed of nothing. Have some shame”.
This is a sample of the kind of responses I have received for my article in ThePrint highlighting how Nirmala Sitharaman’s 2019 Budget ignored Dalits.
Casteist comments are made to either criticise Dalits over matters like reservation or to perpetuate the stereotypes that the community fights every day.
So, here’s a list of things that you, the so-called upper castes, should never say to, or ask, Dalits.
Also read: Inter-caste marriage isn’t the problem, marrying a Dalit man is
If the list below makes you uncomfortable, great. Dalits are not here to make you feel comfortable.
1. Starting with the most common statement (or its variants) that Dalits hear: “You do not look like a Dalit” or “you do not speak or dress like a Dalit” or “you cannot be Dalit as you have scored well in the examinations”. (How are we supposed to look like? Can’t we do well in exams?)
2. “You are the smartest Dalit I have ever known!” (How many Dalits have you ever met?)
3. “This is hypocrisy that you let your Dalit friends call you ‘chamar’ but I am not allowed to.” (One has to understand the power dynamics in society and the intentions behind using words that have been rejected by Dalits.)
4. After saying something bad about Dalits in front of a Dalit: “Oh not you, you are different and not like other Dalits”. (What made you think that I am not like other Dalits? Your prejudices.)
5. All those questions that start with “So, do Dalits…?” Or, responses like “Not all upper-castes…”. (While asking “do Dalits…”, you are putting Dalits in a separate category and creating an ‘us’ vs ‘them’ binary. Indeed, not all upper castes, but then how about most?)
6. “Oh my God! I went to a Dalit basti and felt the need to do so much. Have you ever been there?” (All this while posting pictures on social media of semi-naked Dalit children playing in a slum.)
7. “We all are being discriminated against, not only Dalits.” (No, you are not. And you have no idea what discrimination is.)
8. “Why must you write on Dalit issues when you can write on anything else?” (Because I can and not many are doing it.)
Also read: Forget about Dalit voters. Tell us why upper caste Hindus voted for BJP like never before
9. “I consider myself Dalit – I do not know my caste, I clean my own toilet and I had a Dalit boyfriend/girlfriend.” (Why does every casteist have one Dalit friend? If this would have been the case, India would be a country of Dalits.)
10. “Why can’t Dalits just change their surname and escape the caste discrimination?” “How can you be a Dalit when you have a surname that is common among Brahmins?” (Okay, why don’t Brahmins just end the caste discrimination by giving up their Brahmin surnames and take a Dalit surname or none at all?)
11. “You must understand the RSS.” (Yes, Dalits do. It’s a dangerous organisation.)
12. “Why do you support reservation when you already have a good job?” (Caste discrimination doesn’t stop with Dalits having a good job.)
13. “Are you really Dalit?” (No, just trying to find if my ancestors were non-Dalit.)
14. “You are an ‘elite Dalit’ and robbing poor Dalits of a chance to progress.” (The concept of ‘elite Dalit’ only exists in the minds of savarnas. All Dalits, irrespective of education or wealth, face caste discrimination, only the nature or its extent may vary.)
15. “You have escaped caste as you are living abroad now.” (Caste identity doesn’t stop at the airport.)
16. “Why do Dalits make so much fuss over Ambedkar Jayanti?” (Why does it bother you if we do?)
17. “Dalits have failed Ambedkar and Ambedkar was a Brahmin.” (So, do you want to blame the victim? When Dalits were never in a position to make rules and regulations, how could they have failed Ambedkar?)
18. “Why do you need a separate history? There is no savarna history month, then why do you need a Dalit history month? (As if, Dalit history finds a place in Indian history books.)
19. “All lives matter, not only Dalit lives.” (Indeed, all lives matter, which is why there should be outrage when Dalits are denied their rights. But when you say it to remind Dalits to stop complaining and shut up, it is problematic.)
20. “Get over caste discrimination, it is a thing of the past.” (Caste discrimination exists; one just needs to open his/her eyes and ears and understand the pain of Dalits.)
Also read: Can a Dalit wear Armani and Zara? Why most Indians would still say no
21. “Mayawati is using Dalits for gains.” (No, she has done more for Dalits than any other current leader. It’s not about what she can do for Dalits, but what Dalits can do for themselves while she is around.)
22. “My family is very liberal, and we have hired a Dalit maid to help her family.” (Why don’t you become a bit more liberal and try to hire an upper caste domestic worker?)
23. “Why do you bring caste into all discussions?” (Because caste matters and most social ills in India are a result of the caste system.)
24. An all-time favourite of so-called upper castes: “Reservation has ruined India.” (Reservation is a constitutional right. You get rid of caste and we will work together to get rid of reservation.)
25. “Why do Dalits get angry so often? Why are Dalits so violent?” (This can be heard every time Dalits protest against an issue/atrocity. The media reports these protests with headlines like “angry Dalits…”. Yes, we are angry at the system that denies equal rights.)
26. “I do not have upper caste privileges.” (If you say so, better think again.)
27. “Talking about casteism all the time makes you the biggest casteist.” (Caste will not disappear automatically. You need to talk about it and make it a part of public debates and discussions. Do you want to kill the messenger who tries to initiate a discussion on caste?)
28. “Stop talking about caste and it would end automatically.” (Dalits will stop talking about caste when the so-called upper castes will stop benefiting from it.)
The author is the founder editor of Velivada, a web publication, and runs the online web portal Ambedkar Caravan. Views are personal.
In my childhood, I was in Maharashtra. Where
so called dalits that is Mahars, used to make fun of me calling Purabia and Bhaiya, and looked down upon us U. P. Waalas. Their fathers were officers and clerks and we were workers. Even Mahar teachers used to make fun of us by calling that, you purabias will never progress. Tum purabias nahi sudharoge.
I challenge these Mahars that, they can disprove this. But when someone else makes fun of them they get very touchy. They used say that see Purabia saraso kaa tel laga ke aa gaya, just as we entered the school campus. So much pain was given to us by these Mahars that I can’t mention all the name calling here.
I am a bramhin and id o not discriminate or nor any other bramhin does we clean our toilet and so everyone does it’s modern world dear it’s not 90’s. and whatever you are doing is only a publicity stunt
oh, didnt know that india has changed so much only in 20 years dear!
I am from the so-called upper caste, a normal middle-class person with normal life. I cant see what privilege I got from my caste. We work hard, we get our salaries, we study hard, we get our marks……..where is my privilege? I cant see it? I studied in a Christian school, where all the Hindus were made fun of. I went to a college where all kinds of people were there. I never made any upper caste friends group, nor did I find any group like that. I don’t even talk about my caste anywhere. In fact, it is the other people who ask me what my caste is, otherwise I am not even bothered about my caste. So can someone tell me what is the privilege that normal middle-class people like me are enjoying?
Hi Shreya, i am a visitor just like you. It’s not about you but it’s about the Indian society who discriminate. I have lived a normal life like you where i had friends from my caste and upper caste too. I never generalize anyone based upon the caste. The world is beautiful and i personally believe that our lives are beyond the caste system. We are well educated and must move forward leaving behind all these beliefs.
That’s because savarnas only see everything in terms of poverty. That’s the only disability you understand. You are never taught about casteism and you grow up thinking such behaviours are normal.
Even rich Dalits are discriminated against. Even poor Brahmins are casteists
You are right even I am a Brahmin too. But I don’t discriminate anyone on the basis of caste. But just generalizing that all brahmins are castist is not right I think so.
Stop!
I’m an atheist and never believed in our culture or whatever.
My uncle invested in a govt school construction contract. The contract head was a Dalit. He lived in our flat for 6 months and treated him like our family member. After, He fled with the money. It didn’t turn us into racists. Later we searched for him 3 times, 2 times with police, we saw him 3rd time alone. He ran away and threatened us that he will file an anti-racism police case and destroy our family. Already we lost our leftover wealth and thought this is going out of hands and left him. Is this what we get? See how he’s using the law.
And when I’m pursuing B.tech, the Dalit guy got a free seat and didn’t get through and paid the fee on loan. I play all games on the PC. He once came to me and asked me to copy PUBG to his mobile and literally he’s a computer science student.
My family never believed in god and ethically very good. And now we are unfamiliar with lower caste.
Well, i am sorry for the loss. But i would still say that you must not judge anyone based on the caste and doing the same, you are encouraging the discrimination. Stop judging people based on the caste. If you will talk about experiences then i would suggest you to read the history and you will find that this is nothing if you compare with the history of the discrimination.
Black Lives Matter (BLM) or Brahmin Lives Matter (BLM), when Rahul Dubey, a Brahmin community person of Indian origin, opened his home at Washington DC, America, for those protesting George Floyd, a Black person’s death, it appeared Brahmin Lives Matter (BLM).
Saala Chamarti Na Hovey. If you stupid chamartis were so proud, then stop using our names. Bhatia, Bhatti, Gill, Seghal, Chauhan and Janjua (for example) do not belong to your toilet cleaning community. Stop using our names, stop complaining that we don’t want to associate with you low lives and go establish your own identity.
But your mouth is more filled with potty I guess 😉
So true….👍👌
The caste system is one of the ugliest aspects of society in general and Hinduism in particular. It was what first caused me to turn agnostic when I was around 10 and looking back, I find it hard to believe that people can believe in such a pathetic and mindblowingly stupid religion .
Neither we should get into chest-beating nor we do self-boasting on this specific societal issue we have inherited. Even if the intent in the right direction but means shown here little bit vindictive which must not be encouraged. We must be accommodative to strong yet sensible views to make the society free from this stigma. Privileged class must take the initiative of shredding the castist privileges and convince the victim classes to start a new chapter in this country.
Simple way to treat this:
“Shred identities as much possible to increase respect to the fellow humans because nature has always treated us equals”
Without commenting on the intellectual capacity of the author and the management of the Print that allows publishing of these kind of writups, one innocent questions – Who are the Upper Caste and in which part of the constitution are they defined? Who are the Upper Castes in Tamil Nadu?
Same doubt man cause The so-called upper castes are never mentioned in the Vedas or any other ritual,history books but the so called lower castes are ways mentioned .It says that Adi dravidars…,Pallars etc…. so many so called lower castes exist from the beggining of TamilNadu.Some idiot came to Tamilnadu and started a stupid system called CASTES.
Better called as a system of fools.Hahaha
While scheduled castes create separate identity by using the umbrella term ‘dalit’ it is not realistic to expect that rest of society doesn’t recognise this common identity. While all discrimination including those at subconscious level should end but then first we need to stop using the term ‘dalit’. Supreme Court has also asked to use SC instead of dalit.
Many might disagree but i thought its relevant to point out
Ihave also been told- “you dont look like a Bihari”. Many of friends have been told “You dont look like a South Indians”. Some have also been told ‘you dont look like a punjabi”
Unfortunately, they did not take it seriously enough and thus did not have intellectual articles written about them in news outlets!
That is the silliest counter argument imaginable. Have you been systematically discriminated against at every step of your life? With the kind of arguments being put forth it is not difficult to extrapolate and figure out what the situation on the ground would be like. A nightmare!
Such articles are only the result of faux intellectual masturbation and the writer has no inkling except reading about it in marxist pamphlets passed around in JNU or journalism schools.
Ours is a society where people literally fight over for being called dalits. They kill, set buses to fire and create ruckus so that they could be considered dalits!
One of the major reasons dalits are still backward is- the better off among them have cornered all the benefits of reservations and affirmative actions. Even dalits have a hierarchy within themselves and the better off dominate those at the bottom of the pyramid. E.g., in Bihar, Dusaadhs (E.g., Paswans) would be much better off than Musahars. In UP, Jaatavs dominate.
The gap in thought btn upper caste and Dalit can never be bridged.
Heirarchial thought at the societal level based on notions of inferiority or superiority are deep embedded.
Neither the upper caste nor the lower caste is ready to erase the memory.
The harshness of “false inferiority “hoisted on dalits & lower casts has made them bitter.
Upper caste feigns to forget caste as long as it retains the prime position in society.
Even Dalits have privileges if you consider reservation, what is reservation if not privilege? These are the same things what blacks talk about white people in the usa.
Exactly!
And such articles are copy-pasted from that template only.
Makarand Paranjape, current head of Indian institute of advanced Studies, Shimla tends to do this to all SC/ST/ OBC students of his in the English departments he has taught in. People tend to forget how close he is to RSS when he makes these statements.
We must eschew any kind of categorisations like caste gender sexual orientation and accept a person as a person with all it’s merits and mistakes. Being anything else doesn’t matter. Caste isin’t a choice it’s a label thrust upon self and others. It’s just a case of proving superiority due to self insecurities.
Thougt provoking and insightful article. Thousand years oppression which was addressed finally post independence. Remedial measures like reservations have come to the rescue of these oppressed classes to some extent. The damage is quite expansive as it seeped into cultures languages which we have to get rid off if we want a fair and equal society. No individual villian in this oppression. Upper castes and other benefiting communities have manipulated the social order with customs, religion, language to loot the oppressed classes economically and socially. The fact is there is still discrimination. The social set up which is still pro caste…which can be visible in marriages which are predominantly with in caste and power structures still dominated by upper castes. Reservations provide room for reserved classes in public sector which is getting thinner by the day by privatisation. Businesses and the employment their in has no reservation. Few dalits find place in private sector not because of lack of talent but because of bias still in the cultural mindset.
So how many more years dalits want reservations? When will they become developed so that reservations can be abolished so that caste system can fade away?
They will become developed when you remove all hurdles of discrimination from their path. Then there is no need for any affirmative action. The onus is on you. Do you want to see them developed?
End the caste system and we’ll end the reservation.
Great article, every Dalit face such things. I as Dalit have listened most of these.
Dear all,
Caste is a Conspiracy Against Social Transformation and Emancipation. India has occupational groups, like Sonar, Lohar, Kumbhar , Kisan , Chamar, etc , for instance Akshtria who uses Ashtra ( weapon) , secures and protects a Akshtra (area) , Brahman is derived from Brahm , Brahand means wide and indestriible and that is knowledge that can be shared, distributed continues to expand. . No one is a Dalit , that word must be banned. Shudra derived from The one who does Shuddhi, cleans a place that was unclean . Even today we have same thing , an engineer, a doctor, a teacher, a farmer , a cleaner. No religion can divide humans as upper , lower, dalit or swarna , these are opportuniSTS , selfish who use such words in society. Time to remove Dalit from dictionary. Educatiin is the solution.
I found this article extremely familiar. Then I remembered where I had read most of these things. Stop doing this if you want to be taken seriously. And don’t give me that guff about experiences being similar. Recognize plagiarism when you see it. https://www.blackenterprise.com/27-things-white-people-never-ever-say-black-co-workers/
It only proves that racists and casteist practice the same things and this author is not the first one to point out that. Check
https://thewire.in/caste/coming-out-as-dalit-yashica-dutt
https://m.facebook.com/EverydayCasteism/
There are many other Facebook pages talking on these things.
These things are so common and this author has put them at one place, which is good, that doesn’t need anyone’s approval.
I work as a social worker and every day I hear So do Dalit eat this
So do Dalit have this at home
So do Dalit blah blah blah
What makes people think Dalits are different?
I checked the link you shared and sorry, I don’t see even one point which seems plagiarized. Pardeep Attri is an accomplished writer who’s been writing for at least 15 years. It’s the height of casteism that you accuse him of plagiarism. Take back that remark and apologize for writing falsehood.
Complete non-sensical article.
I completely fail to Understand the concept of a “Dalit” friend. I guess the article is further trying to create a divide in the name of caste discrimination. And yes, if you think there are no Elites in the Dalit community, check with the family background of 2015 UPSC Topper.
Upper caste mentality people will never accept this harsh truth as the they have filled with brainwashed mentality by centuries.
Yeah. There is no history of Dalits in Mainstream literature if they have had a conscience then it would have been there. If all have considered the progress of Dalits then all of India would have come against the 13 point roster. But no one come in tge support of Dalits instead they have greedily accepted it. How come they have no shame that they abused all the rights for ages and Dalits cannot demand even the basic human rights? And why Dalits have to focus only primary education just because the upper caste have all the control over the university and jobs? Only a Dalit finding a job cannot change the discriminating view of the upper castes. If upper castes are so righteous then why don’t they reject their surnames and destroy the caste altogether. Why intermarriages are problematic? Why cannot they refuse the riches they have been enjoying for ages and divide all the things equally and destroy the hierarchy in the caste system? The upper castes have onle 15% of population and over 95% of jobs and educationsl seats…why don’t they divide it according to the population? Where are Dalits suppose to go when industry and job and govt. and status belong to the uppper castes? The shamelessness is that they yet have guts to speak in the issue of Dalits????
Beautifully written n touched the nerves of the people but castiest privileged class will not understand this as they are upper caste n don’t bother about fellow Indian. They have became selfish without understanding the real issue. Reading all the comments it’s really shame on upper caste mentality which will never change in any centuries.